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How to win friends and influence people, Peking style

Monday, July 20, 2009
The background:

"Xinjiang Uygur autonomous region would accelerate local legislation against separatism, said the region's top lawmaker on Sunday. Eligen Imibakhi, chairman of the Standing Committee of the Xinjiang Regional People's Congress, said the regional congress would unswervingly safeguard the dignity and authority of the Constitution and other laws".

No surprise there, but what of hearts and minds:

"A most urgent problem to be solved was the lack of law booklets in ethnic minority languages (1), he said. The region had organized experts to do the translation work and the booklets would soon be distributed to farmers and herdsmen across the region".

One can just imagine that after a hard day's herding, the man not on the Luntai omnibus will want to retire to his yurt and gen up on the law of contract and so forth.

(1) Even on the PRC's own figures, the Uighurs were the largest ethnic group in 'Sinkiang autonomous region'.
(2) I've decided to go for the traditional English language versions of the place names, because I feel like it.

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posted by Croydonian

A (very big) war on the horizon

Sunday, July 12, 2009
In the opinion of Bharat Verma, Editor of the Indian Defence Review:

China will attack India by 2012 to divert the attention of its own people from "unprecedented"
internal dissent, growing unemployment and financial problems that are threatening the hold of Communists in that country.

"China will launch an attack on India before 2012. There are multiple reasons for a desperate Beijing to teach India the final lesson, thereby ensuring Chinese supremacy in Asia in this century".

More here.

I would hope that the two do not come to blows, but I would be in India's corner for this one (I'm sure they are very grateful for my support). Conventional warfare between the two - presumably with the Aksai Chin and the McMahon line at issue - would look to be a bit one-sided, with India vastly outarmed. Should things go nuclear, the Chinese also have the advantage.

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posted by Croydonian

Factlet o' the day

Wednesday, April 15, 2009
From China Daily:

"The Hurun wealth report said Wednesday that more than 825,000 people in China's mainland are multimillionaires, 51,000 of whom have more than 100 million yuan".

Putting this in context, that is greater than the population of Cyprus (801,600) or that of Luxembourg and Iceland combined (812,200), or all but 44 of Europe's largest cities. Leeds is the nearest in the UK, at 727,000.

As to the 51,000, that's more than the Faroes, and just 6000 shy of the population of Greenland.

Fascinating, huh? You can thank me later once you have impressed your mates, partners, colleagues etc....

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posted by Croydonian

The indignities our 'national treasures' have to suffer

Saturday, February 21, 2009
The Beckhams, Sean Connery and Keanu Reeves have been press-ganged into promoting an aphrodisiac on Chinese TV, not that they were asked in advance of the broadcast.

The video - of shockingly poor video quality - is here. I would embed it, but it is not on youtube, but rather a Chinese equivalent, and I cannot fathom where, if anywhere, is the embedding code.

"In the video, with Victoria wrapped in his arms, the English footballer is seen praising the product in fluent Mandarin gushing that his performance on the soccer field had greatly benefited and that the product was his secret to “satisfying Victoria in bed”.

Keanu Reeves and Sean Connery said the product was a great surprise to both them and their partners. Sporting moments and intimate scenes captured from their movies were used to demonstrate how effective the product was".

More here.


Entirely work / significant other safe - assuming same lack facility in Mandarin, I suppose.

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posted by Croydonian

The PM who loves his country so much that he will sit oblivious in front of an upside down Union Flag.

Monday, February 02, 2009
Yup, the one, the only James Gordon Brown. I spotted this during a news report on the UK-China business summit, and thought about waiting for the news cycle to click round and then photograph it, but life is too short, and I have found the evidence here, here and here. Peter Mandelson can't spot an upside down Union Flag either. Nor can Miliband.

By all accounts Getty Images are a bit keen on protecting their copyrights, and I do not feel like forking out £39 for short term rights in order to fend of the doubtless insatiable greed of its lawyers. If I can snag a photo from elsewhere, I will add it in.

And care of a suggestion by a thoughtful anon in the comments, I have taken a screen grab from the BBC's video clip on the events:




For those unversed in these things, the Union Flag, correctly flown, has the top left part of the cross of St Patrick in the lower part of the cross of St Andrew, owing to the Caledonians having seniority over the Hibernians. Visuals here.

One might note that an upside down flag is a distress signal.

Now on the front page of the BBC's news site, not that I am credited with the spot. Bah.

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posted by Croydonian

A lot of bombshells for one's money

Saturday, January 03, 2009
US mag US News & World Report has an interview with former U.S. Air Force Secretary Thomas Reed, who has a book to plug.

Always supposing he is right, here are some of the warheads he lets off in the interview:

"China in about 1982, under Deng Xiaoping, decided to proliferate nuclear technology to communists and Muslims in the third world. They did so deliberately with the theory that if nukes ended up going off in the western world from a Muslim terrorist, well that wasn't all bad. If New York was reduced to rubble without Chinese fingerprints on the attack, that left Beijing as the last man standing. That's what the old timers thought".

Shades of this: "At the Moscow Conference of Communist Parties in November 1957, Mao contradicted Khrushchev's line that no one could win a nuclear war. He said that such a war would not be the end of the world, because half its population would survive. From other statements by Mao, it is clear he thought that a large part of the Chinese population would survive an atomic war". So much for that nice Mr Deng.

And Pakistan:

"Under Pakistani president Benazir Bhutto, the country built its first functioning nuclear weapon. We believe that during Bhutto's term in office, the People's Republic of China tested Pakistan's first bomb for her in 1990".

So much for that nice Mrs Bhutto.

"For their part, the Chinese admitted to having conducted hydronuclear and radiation effects tests for France".

Crikey. I suppose testing at Muroroa Atoll is no longer an option. (Incidentally, one of the French spooks nicked by our Kiwi brethren for the Rainbow Warrior bombing is now head of HR for the Paris fire brigade. Bit of a comedown really).

And there's more:

"In the wake of the Suez crisis in 1956, the French and the Israelis initiated a joint nuclear weapons program that resulted in a test in the Algerian desert. At that test in 1960, two countries went nuclear with one shot".

Previous received opinion was that the two sides had fallen out in '58. The Israelis had weapon grade plutonium capability courtesy of Dimona by '65, by the way.

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posted by Croydonian

China's 'Milli Vanilli' law

Friday, November 14, 2008
From China Daily:

"Professional performers who cheat their audiences by lip-synching or pretending to play their instruments at "live" shows are likely to face stiff penalties from next year, an official from the Ministry of Culture said on Wednesday.
....
People who perform for profit should not cheat audiences with fake singing or pretending to play instruments, as has been the case in the past, she said.

Individuals or organizations caught doing so twice or more within a two-year period will have their business licenses revoked, she said".


That's most popular 'singers', and an awful lot of musicians in trouble then. Being a grumpy old man, I am great believer in the ability to play live being the acid test of a musician. Mind you, will the law cover the likes of sampling, pre-programmed keyboards, drum machines etc?

Here's the tale of Milli Vanilli, for those who were either too young or were not paying attention at the time.

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posted by Croydonian

Good grief

Monday, October 13, 2008
Other greybeards out there may well remember this antique joke / anecdote (supposedly a true story, not that I believe it) from the days of the last miners' strike:

"The Young Conservatives collected for working miners, the Young Socialists for striking miners and the Young Social Democrats for pit ponies".

Anyway, that came to mind reading this news from Honkers:

"HONG KONG (AFP) - Almost half of Hong Kong's aid package to help China's quake-stricken Sichuan will be used to restore a giant panda reserve, the government said Sunday Hong Kong's government said it would spend 863 million of its 2 billion Hong Kong dollar (256 million US) commitment on a 4.5 kilometre road leading to Wolong Nature Reserve in the country's southwest province, which was devastated by a 8.00-magnitude quake in May".

Yes, pandas are easy on the eye and do tend to bring out the sentimentalist in otherwise hard-nosed types, but note this:

"Official figures state that 69,197 are confirmed dead, including 68,636 in Sichuan province, and 374,176 injured, with 18,222 listed as missing. The earthquake left about 4.8 million people homeless though the number could be as high as 11 million".

Nothing quite like keeping a sense of proportion, is there?

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posted by Croydonian

A modest proposal

Friday, September 12, 2008
"China is secretly buying US$300 million (HK$2.34 billion) of Costa Rican government bonds as part of an agreement by the central American country to cut diplomatic ties with Taiwan in favour of Beijing". Source

Odious, and frankly a rather poor show, but I suppose the Costa Ricans can be bought. Further Taiwan and PR China shenanigans noted previously can be found here.

Anyway, Costa Rica has a population of 4,195,914, (although it is listed as 1,234,567 on the CR wiki page. Good job I smelt a rat, eh readers?) Dear old Blighty musters around 61 million souls, sooo on a multiplier of 14.5, perhaps the PRC and Taiwan could be manouevered into a bidding war starting at about 4.4 billion dollars, or say $73 per head. Not quite an end to all our credit crunch woes, more a pub lunch for two, but if the sum is upweighted based on relative GDPs, it looks as though we are cooking, as the multiplier is then 106, so the bribe climbs to $31,701,000,000, or circa $520 per head.

How about it?

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posted by Croydonian

Kow-tow Watch

Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Step forward Brian Roper, Vice Chancellor of London Metropolitan University (or City and North London polys, as were):

"Brian Roper, vice-chancellor of the university, expressed in a letter to the Chinese embassy in London on June 16 his regret of his school's move, saying that offering the degree to the Dalai Lama was not a well-considered decision, according to an embassy official last week.... Angered and offended by the move, Chinese students and Internet users at home and abroad called for a boycott the university, saying its conferment of honours on the Dalai Lama had hurt the feelings of the Chinese people".

Sensitive flowers, aren't they?

"It also has a Free Tibet Society, which advocates the "Independence of Tibet."

A staff member of the Chinese embassy in London said the university's apology is sincere but it is not enough to completely offset the negative effect. "The university should do more to repair its image in the eyes of Chinese students, such as not providing speaking platforms for Tibetan separatists," he said".

Here's a list of other institutions for Beijing to get upset with.

Meanwhile, China Daily has come up with a list of '30 reasons to watch the Beijing Games'.

These include the following:

13. Babies named after the Olympics - "A total of 4,104 Chinese have been named Aoyun (Chinese for "the Olympics")"

20. Highest number of mascots - five. "Multiple Olympic mascots are not uncommon, but for the first time more than three figures will share Summer Olympic mascot duty when the five Fuwa take center stage. Featuring four of China's most popular animals - the fish , the panda, the Tibetan antelope and the swallow - and the Olympic flame.."

21. Venues on fengshui


Well that's certainly overcome my cynicism, and I will be glued to the box for the duration. Blogging may well be light.....

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posted by Croydonian

Consequences? Who cares?

Sunday, June 22, 2008
For your entertainment, here is a commercial for the Lancia Delta. Unlikely to air in these parts as Lancia abandoned the UK market some years ago as they could not overcome a reputation for producing rust buckets



Those eggheads at Lancia parent Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino need to brush up on their knowledge 0f world affairs and Cult Studs, methinks:

"Fiat CEO Sergio Marchionne said he ''didn't know'' if the commercial had political overtones, but that he ''certainly liked it''. Source

My position on Tibet is a matter of record, so am happy enough for Lancia to align itself with Tibet, but a car manufacturer that builds in the 'People's Republic' of China really should have given the issue more than a nano-second's thought.

Too late now, as "Fiat on Friday apologised to China for a television commercial starring United States actor Richard Gere that it acknowledged ''could disturb the sensibility of the Chinese people''. Sensitive flowers, aren't they?

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posted by Croydonian

Token gesture of the week

Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Seeing this headline - Australian athletes will not attend Olympic ceremony - I was gearing up to praise our Antipodean kin and contrast their approach with the kowtowing by the rabble leading this country.

However, it is nothing to do with human rights, still less the occupation of Tibet but rather this:

"Australian Olympic officials have banned the country's athletes from marching at this summer's opening ceremony in Beijing because of concerns about air pollution in the Chinese capital". I am not making this up.

If Oz's athletes, synchronised swimmers and underwater tiddlywinks players have such delicate lungs, is it safe for them to even get off the plane?

Perhaps someone can come up with an inventive excuse for our athletes, underwater tiddlywinks players ete etc?

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posted by Croydonian

Losing something in translation?

Sunday, April 20, 2008
From China Daily:

"Protests against "Tibet independence" continued in several Chinese cities on Sunday. Protestors gathered in front of outlets of the French supermarket chain Carrefour, chanting "Oppose Tibet independence", and "Oppose CNN's anti-China statements" on Sunday morning. Chinese police were monitoring the demonstrations, which had no effect on the supermarkets' normal operations, Xinhua said. More than 1,000 students and citizens in front of the Carrefour in Xi'an (Xian is about as far from Lhasa as Lerwick from London....C) held banners, saying "Strongly oppose CNN's anti-China statements" and "Condemn Tibet secessionist in France tearing up the Five-Star Red Flag"(I really like this one. The language that is, not the sentiment. C). They chanted "Support the Olympics", "Go China" and "Condemn CNN" through loudspeakers".

Maybe they sounded snappier in the original. Also, could they not have wheeled out 'running dog lackeys', just for old times' sake?

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posted by Croydonian

A bit of gratuitous Jowell bashing

Monday, April 07, 2008
A video, not necessarily the original, has appeared at the Number 10 site:



Note that Tessa refers to the Olympic values of 'excellence, tolerance and friendship'. Yes she does, right there at about 40 seconds in. They are bland enough for Ahmadinejad and Kim Jong-Il to sign up to, and not even remotely in conflict with the policies of the 'People's Republic' of China.

However, a little digging reveals points one and two of the charter:

1. Olympism is a philosophy of life, exalting and combining in a balanced whole the qualities of body, will and mind. Blending sport with culture and education, Olympism seeks to create a way of life based on the joy of effort, the educational value of good example and respect for universal fundamental ethical principles.
2. The goal of Olympism is to place sport at the service of the harmonious development of man, with a view to promoting a peaceful society concerned with the preservation of human dignity.

And what is the most basic ethical premise, one shared by every ethical system and every serious religion?: the Golden Rule, or do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Lest the Chinese government is uncertain how this might apply to cracking heads in Tibet, I offer this from the Analects:

Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself

Or from the Buddha:

One who, while himself seeking happiness, oppresses with violence other beings who also desire happiness, will not attain happiness hereafter

Meanwhile, Jowell is also noting the people in Downing Street to greet what is basically a rather stylised hurricane lamp, without being honest enough to say that they were hand picked.

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posted by Croydonian

The London protests

But for pressure of work I would have gone up to town to cry 'shame' at the Olympic quislings and so forth yesterday, and rather regret that I could not. So, a big round of virtual applause to those who braved the intemperate weather.

Generally speaking, marches, demonstrations and so forth are dismal failures in terms of the outward aim - to change the policies of one's own government or that of another. However, the marchers, banner wavers also have themselves as a psychological target, and Countryside Alliance, CND, stop the war types etc will all have felt a nice rosy glow of self-righteousness and taken away a sense that they had at least done something.

Where the Tibet protests succeeded was not in persuading the 'People's Republic' of China to decolonise Tibet (and come to that East Turkestan), which they are not likely to do any time soon, alas, but to ensure that Tibet's struggle and the vile human rights record of the 'People's Republic' of China becomes global news, and penetrates even the consciousnesses of the boneheaded retired athletes and ''ims and 'ers off the telly' who judged that getting their faces in the papers (that they might plug memoirs, diet supplements, television programmes or whatever) was more important than exhibiting even the most elementary sense of decency. So, Trevor MacDonald, Konnie Huq and the rest of you - avaunt.

That the preservation of law and order was part delegated to a series of Chinese secret policemen / special forces types (they certainly weren't athletes, were they?) is also profoundly shocking.

Meanwhile, make haste to the Number Ten site, and attempt to play the embedded video of the Dour One doing an embarrassed nod at the torch. And fancy, just fancy, a message flashes up saying 'sorry, this video is no longer available'.

And since I am having lots of fun with wonder that is hindsight, enjoy this from Livingstone's site:

"On Sunday 6th April the Olympic flame will be carried across London as part of the global Olympic Torch Relay. Large crowds are expected to cheer on the 80 torchbearers, including Paralympians, Olympic athletes and celebrities as they carry the torch through ten London boroughs from Wembley to Greenwich".

One final (?) afterthought: it is a desperate shame that Peter Hain is no longer in the government, as it would have been delightful watching him trying to square collective ministerial responsibility with his known stances on 'normal sport in an abnormal society'.

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posted by Croydonian

Dignity in politics. How she is not exhibited.

Monday, March 31, 2008
Nursultan Nazarbayev, the not especially awful (by Central Asian standards) leader of Kazakhstan has decided that he is just the man to carry the Olympic torch when it reaches Almaty.

At 67 he is neither in the first flush of youth nor in need of round the clock medical attention, but NN has opted not to overdo it: "Kazakhstan President Nursultan Nazarbayev will run a 250m stretch of the torch relay".

Perhaps 'run' is too strong a word. Saunter, perhaps?

I would not fancy the chances of any Tibetans disruption, as "Kazakhstan has spent $2.5 million for the preparations around the torch relay...Almaty has also invested in security, having as many as 5,000-armed policemen to watch over the the relay run". Shame.

(I am deeply peeved to have discovered that I had got my Jimmy Carter anecdotes mixed up, and the killer rabbit did not attack him while he was jogging, otherwise I was going to offer that up as a terrible warning to Nazarbayev).

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posted by Croydonian

Shameful. Just shameful.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008
WorldPublicOpinion.org has polled the population of these parts, the US, France, India, South Korea and Indonesia on the opening stages of the genocidal campaign of the Chinese government against the Tibetan people, and less than two thirds of Britons manage to sign up to this, extraordinarily mild, statement:

"Critics of China say that it should allow Tibet to have autonomy, to preserve its traditional culture and to allow the Dalai Lama to return to Tibet".

In contrast, 19% go along with this, "China says that Tibet has long been part of China, that Tibet has benefited from modernization, and that the Dalai Lama should not be allowed to return because he aims to split Tibet from China". And the mouth-breathing remainder (18%) have no opinion.

Meanwhile, top marks to South Korea, with 84% supporting the first statement, and shame on the 63% of Indians who either support the 'People's Republic' or have no opinion. I imagine that the Koreans are well aware of how Beijing used to regard Korea as being its own private plaything too.

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posted by Croydonian

The 'hotline' that is really a tepidline

Friday, February 29, 2008
The hotline between the White House and the Kremlin was a cartoon / popular fiction staple for decades, not that I suppose it has even been dusted in living memory, but the Chinese have decided that they want a link to Uncle Sam too.

Not grotesquely inappropriate, but note this sequence of events:

"The two sides reached consensus to set up the hotline during US Secretary of Defense Robert Gates' visit to China in November 2007"


....


And today: "China and the United States officially signed here on Friday an agreement on setting up a military hotline between the two defense departments".

There you have it - a need so pressing that it has taken two months to sign on the dotted line.

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posted by Croydonian

An Olympic disaster on the horizon.

Monday, January 28, 2008
But this time it is the Chinese who have problems, rather than us - lots and lots (and lots) of unsold tickets:

"Only 450,000 tickets for this summer's Olympic Games have been successfully allocated, accounting for about a quarter of the tickets available for sale in the second phase, the Beijing Olympics Organizing Committee said on Sunday". Source

Clearly there will be no problem filling the stadium for the more appealing athletic events, but I will offer the usual odds that thousands of unfortunates will be bussed in to fill up arenas and the like for lesser events. Come 2012, if the wretched event has not been cancelled, expect an awful lot of complimentary tickets being dished out to school children.

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The perils of over-reliance on Wikipedia

Wednesday, December 05, 2007
The full story of this Beijing menu is to be found here.

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posted by Croydonian