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When censors cannot agree, or 'you're gonna need a bigger boat'.

Friday, September 03, 2010
Spotted this earlier, and thought it might amuse:


Feel free to exercise a prejudice for or against our lot or our Hibernian chums.

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posted by Croydonian

A small tribute to the 2009 best director Oscar winner

Tuesday, March 09, 2010
Possibly my favourite of her work:

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posted by Croydonian

Amusing link o' the day

Friday, December 18, 2009
The Morgan Freeman chain of command, from God downwards. 

Anyway, enjoy.

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posted by Croydonian

Rock stars - is there anything they don't know?

Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Not content with trading off a time before most of this country's population, let alone that of the world, were born, a certain member of the light entertainment aristocracy has a new way to annoy the populace:


"The European Parliament will host a major event on global warming and food policy on Thursday 3 December when the chairman of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change Dr Rajendra K. Pachauri and environmental activist Sir Paul McCartney will urge legislators and experts to focus on what an individual can do to fight climate change, for example by eating less meat.  The "Global Warming and Food Policy: Less Meat = Less Heat" hearing takes place on Thursday 3 December in Parliament's plenary chamber in Brussels, from 10.00h to 12h30, and will be chaired by EP Vice-President Edward McMillan-Scott".

Mine's a bacon & black  pudding sandwich, thanks.

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posted by Croydonian

Film fun

Tuesday, November 24, 2009
A little fun involving film quotes:



Some slick editing at work, and it is fairly easy to guess most of the films.  OK, maybe the first couple of dozen.

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posted by Croydonian

The politics of TV stars, as seen by some random French internauts (and YT)

Monday, November 23, 2009
The promised results are now in:

Said random French internauts think that Homer Simpson, Richie 'Happy Days' Cunningham, two blokes from Friends and Jack Shephard from 'Lost' (inter alia) would vote for the Socialists.

Tony Soprano, Jack '24' Bauer, Vic 'The Shield' Mackey and Bobby 'Dallas' Ewing are Gaullists.

Phoebe from 'Friends', Papa Smurf and McGyver are judged Greens, and the Fonz a trot.  Crikey.

Gargamel from the Smurfs is reckoned a Frontiste, and Charles 'Little House on the Prairie' Ingalls a Chasse, Nature, Tradition voter.

The Liberals (MoDem) did rather badly, apparently.    

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posted by Croydonian

Is Tony Soprano a Gaullist, or Homer Simpson a Trot?

Wednesday, November 18, 2009
I ask, because some French wags have set up a site whereby one can match various television characters to the French political allegiance one thinks that they might have.

I will admit to not having anything like enough knowledge to venture opinions on most of them - not that that usually stops me.  FWIW, I have Tony pegged as a Gaullist and Homer as a Socialist.  I also reckoned that the cast of Friends are all Democrats, so I've made them MoDem supporters

Anyway, here's the voting form.

Given that the form is on google docs, I *might* have a go at knocking up something similar.  As and when the results are published I'll post about them, if I remember.

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posted by Croydonian

Swedes trying to be hip and not quite pulling it off...

Tuesday, November 17, 2009
This, from the website of the Swedish EU Presidency, doubtless a site we all refer to multiple times daily:



In other words, he was born in 1970.  Take your pic of other 1970 births here. 

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posted by Croydonian

Further harbingers of the Apocalypse

Wednesday, October 07, 2009
A Lego David Bowie:



This is meant to be '83 vintage Bowie (The crummy Let's Dance period), so I suppose that is just about believable.

And if that wasn't bad enough, a Lego Iggy:



Well, if you are going to sell out, you might as well have some fun in the process.  Both of them are starring in a video game called Lego Rock band.  More on the Thin White Duke here, and  James Newell Osterberg here.  I imagine DB will not be singing 'Time', and Iggy will not be singing 'Sixteen'.

Who's next?  The Dead Kennedys? 

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posted by Croydonian

As if Bono needed any more encouragement...

Monday, August 24, 2009
From The Irish Times:

"Speaking at the annual commemoration of the death of Michael Collins in Beál na mBláth, Mrs Robinson said the Irish people needed “a vision of ourselves” and “the lack of one lies at the heart of the crises we face”.

.....

To shape a vision of how we hope to develop as a society “we need to listen to everyone who has something to contribute; yes the business sector and the financial experts, but also the social entrepreneurs and innovators, the teachers who educate our children, social workers and activists ... and those who have been marginalised in the past. We should also listen to our creative artists.

As I am so very fond of noting, 'Rock stars Is there anything they don't know?'. Given Robinson's history of modish left wing views, presumably she will not be very interested in the contributions of creative artists with more traditional, let alone religious leanings.

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posted by Croydonian

Does Ms Ciccone need remedial geography lessons?

Wednesday, July 29, 2009
From the always unmissable Romanian Times:

"Pop star Madonna mistook the Spanish region Andalusia for Transylvania during her concert in Barcelona (Spain) on Tuesday night".

Well, I suppose you can buy sangria in Andalucia. Perhaps the best geographical mistake involving Spain since a Bulgarian (?) newspaper reported the liberation of Grenada with a map showing graphics of leathernecks storming the Costa del Sol en route to Granada.

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posted by Croydonian

Prepare to be nauseated

Thursday, June 25, 2009
Those of weak dispositions should click somewhere else, anywhere else, now. Here's Google.

Anyone still here, note this horror from Ha'aretz:

"According to reports, Spears has been offered a part in the upcoming Holocaust film The Yellow Star of Sophia and Eton, which integrates time travel, concentration camps and a love story.

If she accepts the role, Spears will be taking on the title role of Sophia LaMont, a woman who invents a time machine and succeeds in traveling to the time of the Second World War. According to the script, LaMont ends up at a concentration camp and falls in love with a Jewish prisoner named Eton. However, the budding love story is cut short when both are killed by the Nazis".

The whole thing smells of PR stunt to me, but the project sounds like the worst outbreak of cinematic Shoah abuse yet.

Anyway, having done my bit to spoil everyone's morning, I am now off to lie down in a darkened room for a bit.

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posted by Croydonian

Coming soon to a bookshop near you

Saturday, June 13, 2009
From that regular source of curious tales, Swedish English language daily The Local:

"A big part of Metal Sanctuary’s mission is to spread the Metal bible to secular metal heads, something which they did at the recent Sweden Rock Festival in Sölvesborg in southern Sweden, and plan to repeat at other similar festivals and metal shows. The Metal Bible is a special edition of the Bible for metal fans which contains the New Testament and testimonials from metal heads in which they discuss the importance of God and the Bible in their lives. According to the Metal Bible’s website...which has sold around 40,000 copies in Swedish. An English version of the Metal Bible has been completed and is due to be released in the autumn of 2009".


Way back lost in the mists of time a particularly lame master at my old school attempted to impress school assembly by telling us there was a motorcycle in the bible - after David slew Goliath, ''all you could hear was the roar of David's Triumph". Cue much groaning and embarassment by proxy.

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posted by Croydonian

The bearded one from Abba - a gender traitor, or a wily marketeer?

Sunday, June 07, 2009
I ask, because of the following, lifted from those nice people at Swedish daily The Local:

"Composer Benny Andersson of Abba fame has contributed one million kronor ($128,000) to ensure that Swedish voters have a chance to vote for Gudrun Schyman’s Feminist Initiative (Feministiskt initiative - FI) political party in Sunday's EU parliamentary elections".

I cannot lay hands on an English language version of its platform, but they do not sound very sisterly:

"On the 23 August 2005 one of the key, high-profile founders, Ebba Witt-Brattström, announced that she was leaving the party's executive committee, citing teamwork problems as the reason, but also stating that Fi was primarily pursuing a far left political agenda, and therefore not representing all women. ...On 13 September 2005 another of the 15 founding members of the Executive Committee, Susanne Linde, resigned from the party. Linde was the only member of the founding group who had previously been active in a centre-right political party, the Liberal People's Party. She gave as her principal reason the treatment she had received from another committee member Tiina Rosenberg, who, among other claims, had criticised her for being a heterosexual, and calling her a "middle class hag". Linde was unhappy with Rosenberg's "reverse homophobia". Witt-Brattström claimed Rosenberg had called her a "gender traitor" for having sex with men.Tiina Rosenberg herself later left the Executive Committee, but not Fi, after death threats to herself and her children, and perceived harassment from the media". Source

One does really associate frothy pop with hard core feminism, but maybe K.D.Lang and so on either could not, or would not, stump up the blue folding stuff.

Wonder if they'll use Dancing Queen as a party anthem.

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posted by Croydonian

Eurovision as the continuation of war by other means

Tuesday, May 19, 2009
To adapt Von Clausewitz.

Fortunately I no longer have to put up with Eurovision, which is a mercy. However, it would appear that I missed out on all sorts of Kremlinology, so to speak, particularly in how it impacted Armenia, Azerbaijan and Artsakh.

Item One, from the Moscow Times:

"...The web site Panarmenian.net reported Monday that television viewers in Baku, Azerbaijan, were unable to see the telephone number to vote for Armenia on their screens. The historic enmity between the two countries was reflected at Eurovision: Azerbaijan gave Armenia zero points, while Armenia gave its neighbour 1 point. Public Armenian Television has submitted a complaint to the organizers, Panarmenian.net reported, but no one could be reached immediately for comment Monday at either country's national television network".

Item Two, from Turkish daily, Hurriyet:

"The 54th Eurovision Song Contest in Moscow on Saturday turned out to be an arena of politics. When the host from Moscow turned the live feed to Yerevan, the capital of Armenia, striking pictures were reflected to television screens worldwide. Sirusho, the Armenian pop star who represented the country last year with the song “Qele Qele,” was onscreen to report the Armenian votes when she lifted the card she was holding to cover her face. There was a photograph of "Menk Yenk Mer Sarerı" (We Are Our Own Mountains), in another name, "Dad u Bab" (Grandmother and Grandfather), the gigantic statue that is the symbol of the Armenian administration of Nagorno-Karabakh, on the card. The same picture was also on barcovision".


And here it is. Prettier than the Angel of the North:


Although not a patch on the remarkably lovely Sirouhi 'Sirusho' Haroutunyan herself (qv).

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posted by Croydonian

Inventive protest o' the week

Sunday, May 17, 2009
Borrowed from Knees Up Mother Brown, the West Ham forum:

"Angry Chelsea supporters want to get their own back on Norwegian referee Tom Henning Ovrebo, who made a number of controversial decisions in the Blues' Champions League semi-final, second leg against Barcelona. They have set up an internet campaign to stop Norway winning the Eurovision song contest".

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posted by Croydonian

Inaccurate film summaries revisited

Thursday, May 07, 2009
Our own dear Prime Minister has joined in, The Independent having asked him which film has changed his life:

"I choose "Chariots of Fire" because it's all about the potential of young people being realised".

I'm *not* making this up.

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posted by Croydonian

Tiger Woods, Michael Schumacher and the lead singer of Coldplay to sort out Jordan. (The country, not the celeb)

Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Or so it would seem, as the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers World Economic Forum's 'Young Global Leaders' are descending like a plague of locusts on the largely blameless state on the left bank of the Jordan:

"The fifth YGL Summit will be an intense, interactive experience taking place over five days in Jordan, during which Young Global Leaders will incubate the insights and relationships that will help them lead their organizations and communities through the current global crisis....The Young Global Leaders Dead Sea Summit will provide an in-depth experience in a country that is facing a number of challenges, from absorbing two million displaced persons from the conflicts of neighbouring states to diversifying and reducing its dependency on foreign grants".

Martin, Woods and Schumacher were crowned YGL's earlier in the year, and doubtless will be more than eager to leave the respective delights of the Hammersmith Odeon, Augusta and Maranello to offer their suss to King Abdullah and PM Nader Dahabi. Miliband Minor is one too. Presumably if Jordan put out a concept album or sorted out its bunker shots all would be sweet and dandy.

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posted by Croydonian

A new challenge for the readership

Monday, April 20, 2009
The fine people at b3ta linked to this high quality post this week - wilfully distorted one line film plot summaries.

Here are a few examples to make the hyperlink clicking tempting:

  • Billy Elliot: Union worker turns back on strikers for personal gain.
  • Deliverance: Tourists experience local hospitality.
  • E.T.: Out-of-control pet causes mayhem, sadness.
  • O Brother where are thou?: Southern musicians encounter massive flooding and government incompetence.
  • Rosemary's baby: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
  • Star Wars: Religious extremist terrorists destroy government installation, killing thousands.

Those are not a million miles away from the one liners in The Sunday Times TV section: Beverly Hill Cop - a cop goes to LA to find the killers of his best friend.

Anyway, if anyone can be dragged back here after the click, give it a go. Novels could be entertaining too.

Anyway, a few of mine:

No Country for Old Men - a trailer park dweller discovers crime does not pay

Flags of our Fathers - Soldiers deceive the public

High Noon - A Quaker's religious convictions prove insincere.

The Godfather - An Italian American family struggles to adapt to life in New York.

James Bond - (all of 'em) - Low ranking naval officer suffers from satyriasis

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posted by Croydonian

Now I've heard it all - The Spice Girl and the nouvelle vague

Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Liberation is agog that an ex Spice Girl is supposedly an afficianado of French nouvelle vague cinema - think Godard, Truffaut and Chabrol.

Well, that's how they are interpreting her investing in a new platform on Sky called Cine Moi, which will only show French films, although the only quote from Melanie Brown - for it is she - is that 'It is a great business opportunity. It is a unique project'.

There's a wisecrack about being 'À bout de souffle' in there somewhere, meanwhile it's a long way from Alphaville to Spice World.....

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posted by Croydonian