Chiswickite - formerly The Croydonian

Those Nyasaland preachers continued to vex the authorities, in particular our old friend Elliott Kamwana.

Not only was Kamwana out and about sharing The Word with the good people of what is now Malawi, he also put pen to paper. At quite some length:

Mr. WATT asked the Under-Secretary of State for the Colonies whether the court at Chinteche, Bandawe, which sent Elliott Kamwana, a native of Nyassaland, to prison for six weeks without any charge being made or witnesses called, took any action to suppress or withdraw from circulation the six volumes written by Kamwana in which the views for which he was imprisoned are fully stated; and, if so, will he say what was the nature of that action?
....
Mr. KEIR HARDIE asked what was the nature of the complaints lodged against Elliott Kamwana, a native missionary, who has been deported from Nyassaland, to which he belonged; by whom were they lodged; and by what evidence were they backed?

Colonel SEELY The Governor caused careful enquiries to be made into the doings of Kamwana, and from sworn evidence given by Europeans and natives ascertained that his teachings were as follows:—That in October, 1914, the second Advent will take place, that Christ will then abolish all the present forms of government, that there will be no more taxation; that all the white population will disappear from Nyasaland, and that the country will be placed entirely in the hands of the natives, who will govern themselves. The head of both the Scotch Mission and of the Dutch Reformed Church Mission have expressed to the Governor their very strong feeling as to the necessity for preventing the entrance into Nyasaland of such doctrines.

It would appear that Kamwana was a Witness, and apparently October 1914 was slated to mark the start of Christ's Kingdom. Rather than the Battle of Ypres.

Sensible people, those Nyasas:

Mr. WATT Can the hon. and gallant Gentleman say whether Kamwana had a great number of followers who adopted his views?

Colonel SEELY Yes, parts of his doctrines were exceedingly popular, and especially that part in regard to there being no more taxation.

Were I Kamwana, I would feel that my audience had rather missed the point of the second coming.

Pets' Corner...

Mr. KEIR HARDIE (for Mr. Jenkins) asked the President of the Board of Education whether his attention has been called to the action of the Chatham education authority in dismissing Miss M. Handford from the post of schoolmistress of St. John's School, Chatham, in consequence of her refusal to submit to an instruction by that authority to discontinue the training on natural -history to the infants under her charge by getting rid of several pet animals which were kept scrupulously clean...

The PRESIDENT of the BOARD of EDUCATION (Mr. Runciman) I have seen a statement of this case, from which I understand that the teacher's engagement was terminated owing to her refusal to obey a direction given by the local education authority.

Laying down one's job for a pet rabbit or whatever does seem an odd form of martydom.

Bad behaviour in Mansfield:

Mr. MARKHAM (Lib, Mansfield) asked the Secretary of State for the Home Department will he say the total number of clubs on the register in the petty sessional division and borough of Mansfield in the years 1906 and 1908, respectively; the number of clubs in the same area struck off the register from 1st January, 1907, to 30th June, 1909, for betting, gambling, and drunkenness; the names of the brewery companies given in evidence before the local justices who financed those clubs; and whether any of the premises used by clubs struck off the register have again been opened for the consumption of liquor?

The SECRETARY of STATE for the HOME DEPARTMENT (Mr. Gladstone) The Licensing Statistics show that the total number of clubs on the register on 1st January, 1906, and 1st January, 1908, was, in the petty sessional division, 13 and 15, and in the borough five and four respectively. I am informed by the justices' clerks that in the period 1st January, 1907, to 30th June, 1909, six clubs were struck off the register in the petty sessional division for betting, gambling, or drunkenness; and one, in the borough, for betting and other causes.

I am shocked, shocked.

Matters polar.

Sir GILBERT PARKER asked the Prime Minister whether the land at the North Pole is considered to belong to the Dominion of Canada; and, if so, providing it is established that Dr. Cook has reached the North Pole and has planted there the American flag, whether that act would, in any way, give the United States any right of possession over that region. [The HON. MEMBER added, I assume the Prime Minister will understand "land at or adjacent to."]

The PRIME MINISTER I did not understand that. In answer to the first part of the hon. Member's question I do not understand that there is any land at the North Pole.

Sir G. PARKER Adjacent to.

The PRIME MINISTER Perhaps the hon. Member will put down another question. The second part of the question involves too much hypothetical matter for me to give any definite answer.

Mr. REMNANT In the event of it being found to be British territory, will he include it in the tax on undeveloped land?

I think Asquith was being a bit wet, and I think Remnant was essaying wit.... Apparently Kaffeklubben Island or Coffee Club Island is the land nearest the North Pole, and part of Greenland.

Remnant is vexed about clerical attire:

Mr. REMNANT (Con) I beg to ask the Secretary of State for War a question, of which I have given private notice, with reference to the circulars issued by the War Office to the Territorial Forces. Whether the Order No. 14 deals with the dress of chaplains, and the form the scarf should take, and whether the second Order says that, as uniform, only the above-mentioned scarf is authorised. In view of the approaching winter, will he give the matter further consideration, so as to avoid unnecessary disturbance to the chaplain?

Mr. HALDANE All that has been done is that the War Office does not give its authority for any other scarf. Amongst the ecclesiastical gentlemen there might be some difficulty, and the War Office does not intend to embroil itself.

Mr. REMNANT The right hon. Gentleman does not understand my question. Is he aware that nothing else but the scarf is authorised to be worn?

Mr. HALDANE I am not myself conversant with the details of these matters, but I presume it is open even to the humblest man to wear clothes.

I think Haldane showed the patience of Job there.

What about this for reaching one's flock?

Mr. WATT asked the Under-Secretary of State for the Colonies whether his attention had been called to the case of Elliott Kamwana...who was brought before the resident magistrate's court at Chinteche, Bandawe, on 18th March last; if so, will he say what was the charge there made, and were any witnesses called in support of that charge; and, if not, on what grounds was he committed to prison until 4th May?

The UNDER-SECRETARY for the COLONIES (Colonel Seely) The attention of the Secretary of State was called to this matter in June last. The charge against Elliott Kamwana was that his preaching was of such a wild and extravagant character that, it was likely to produce serious native complications; this was substantiated by sworn native and European evidence. It was not necessary to call any witnesses at the Governor's inquiry, since Kamwana admitted to the Governor that his teaching was of the nature which had been reported.

And there are Christians who will tell you that Jesus Christ was more of a revolutionary than those character more often seen adorning t-shirts popular with the left...

And there's more:

Mr. F. E. SMITH Where was he detained?

Colonel SEELY He was detained at the place where he was preaching. The Governor gave him the alternative of either stopping his preaching or going away.

Mr. KEIR HARDIE Is it a fact that the preaching complained of referred to the Second Advent?

Colonel SEELY That was one of the things. Another was that there was to be no further taxation and that was considered to be wild and extravagant. Another statement was that the white population should disappear on a given day, and it was thought some excitable person might wish to hasten that event.

And something to make large numbers of heathens, agnostics, atheists, backsliders etc will the second coming:

Mr. KEIR HARDIE Was the statement that the abolition of taxation was to follow the Second Advent?

Colonel SEELY Very likely.

Meanwhile, I believe Presbytarianism is all the rage in Malawi these days.

Baghdad, flavour of the month a century back too:

Mr. REES asked the Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs whether the Government has any information regarding further developments of the project commonly known as the Baghdad Railway to communicate to the House?

The UNDER-SECRETARY for FOREIGN AFFAIRS (Mr. McKinnon Wood) I have no information to communicate to the House at present in regard to further developments of the Baghdad Railway.

This, if memory serves, was a German scheme...

Socialists, always interfering with one's right to make a living:

Mr. J. O'GRADY asked the Financial Secretary to the Treasury whether he is aware that Messrs. Spratt Brothers, a branch of Houghton's, Limited, Clifford-road, Walthamstow, are contractors to His Majesty's Government, and are employing cabinetmakers at rates of wages ranging from 6d. per hour to 8½d. per hour, as against the trade union wage of 10½d. [...] whether, in view of the terms of the Fair Wage Clause, steps will be taken to refuse tenders from firms who do not fully comply with the terms of the Clause?

The FINANCIAL SECRETARY to the TREASURY (Mr. Charles Hobhouse) If the hon. Member will furnish me with further particulars on the subject of his complaint, I will cause full inquiry to be made. I have not as yet been able to identify the contract to which the hon. Member refers.

Doubtless the brothers Spratt stalked the highways and alleyways of E17 in order to kidnap cabinetmakers and force them to toil at sub-union rates.

A sad little tale, but watch out for the caveat:

Mr. REES asked the Under-Secretary for India whether the Secretary of State has any information to the effect that a sub-inspector of police, a constable, and a native servant have been beaten to death by villagers near Hardoi, in the province of Oudh, while occupied in making an investigation in the locality?

The UNDER-SECRETARY for INDIA (The Master of Elibank) The Government of India reported that a sub-inspector of police was beaten to death, and a constable and a syce beaten so severely that they died the next day, in the course of a disturbance arising out of a quarrel between the sub-inspector and an inhabitant of the village. The murder was not premeditated, and it is reported that there was no ill-feeling in the village against the police in general or the sub-inspector in particular. Twelve persons are under arrest.

I'm sure that came as a great relief to his heirs.

Good money is where you make it dept:

Mr. SUMMERBELL asked the Under-Secretary for the Colonies if he is aware that in 1901 an area of land was set aside for the purpose of afforestation in Trinidad, and that a forest officer was appointed at a salary of £600 per annum; and, if so, whether he can state the revenue from such land during 1908?

Colonel SEELY

Steps were taken about the time mentioned to set aside reserves of forest in Trinidad, and an officer was appointed at the salary named. There are, of course, other important objects to be obtained by the conservation of forest besides the production of revenue, but it would appear from the last Report on the working of the Forest Department in the Colony that the revenue from timber and other forest produce during the year under review, 1907–8, amounted to £1,472.

In part because the 1909 sitting for today is exceptionally dull, and in part because a request for 1859 was made yesterday.

Odd things afoot in Hyde Park:

"MR. W. EWART said, he wished to ask the First Commissioner of Works whether there is any prospect that the large space near the middle of Hyde Park recently enclosed with iron railings, so as to exclude the public, would be restored for the use and recreation of the public.

MR. FITZROY said, he was afraid he could give no more satisfactory answer to the question now than he gave when it was put to him on a former occasion. Some two years ago great objection was made to giving the cows in the park unrestricted liberty of roaming over the ground, and the cows were consequently removed to an enclosure, and sheep were substituted in their place. The alteration was made to meet the convenience of the public; and if the public wished to again give the cows the range of the whole park, instead of confining them to their present restricted area, he thought the old system must be reverted to".

A reasonable enough answer. I suppose the park counted as common land, hence the outbreak of grazing. Wonder where the cow sheds, milking parlours were? Probably not in Knightsbridge.

Italy - what to do....

MR. SCULLY said, he would beg to ask the First Lord of the Treasury whether the Sovereign of the Roman States has finally accepted or declined the position of President over the Confederate States of Italy; and whether, in the event of the Sovereign Pontiff accepting that office, it is intended on the part of Her Majesty's Government to adopt effectual steps for establishing direct diplomatic relations with the Court of Rome?

VISCOUNT PALMERSTON said, that, as he would not be able to speak twice on the Motion before the Chair, he would delay his answer.

Oh aye. Not avoiding the question at all then. As a bit of background, the unification of Italy was not complete at the time, and the French had just fought the Hapsburg Empire in alliance with Savoy. And won... Taking some chunks of Italy as a pourboire.

Honesty the best policy?

Precious of the current lot would be that up front....

The national defences:

"Mr Horsman - The question of the national defences had only to be mentioned in that House to excite a feeling of general interest, and he believed the feeling of that House on the subject was a very inadequate representation of that which prevailed throughout the country. They had just been called on by the Government to make a large increase in the taxes of the year, and the reason on which that demand was grounded was the necessity of adding to our national defences. This year our armaments would cost us £26,000,000, and in order to meet that enormous outlay we should have to submit to an augmentation of the most odious and exceptional of all our imposts. In a time of profound peace we were about to nearly double the income tax, and there was a general disposition throughout the country to inquire whence the great exigency arose"
...
All those armaments and that taxation were necessitated by one cause—namely, the fear of an attack from France—why should they not say it? France knew it, and said it—and all Europe knew it, and said it—and no one differed about it in that House, except perhaps the Member for Birmingham, who disputed the necessity, and the Ministers of the Crown, with whom it would be a breach of etiquette to confess the motive.
...
Every one knew that if in any future wax-that might occur a French general were to laud in England, he would bring with him every soldier for whom transport could he found. It would be for invaders and invaded a life and death struggle. That army would leave its own ports an exultant and, by anticipation, a victorious army. From the moment it landed on the shores of England it would have to fight its way with the desperation of a forlorn hope, and within two or three weeks of the landing of the first Zouave either it would be completely annihilated or London would be taken. It would he less a war than a surprise, and its suddenness would be one element in the calculation of its success.
...
The Member for Birmingham, for instance, as an independent Member of that House, and acting on his individual responsibility, expressed fearlessly what he held consistently, and he had a perfect right to believe that there was not a Zouave in the French army who would not prefer a remission of the wine duties to the sack of London"

Horsman died in Biarritz, by the way.

And over in the Lords

The Liturgy of the Church of England:

"LORD EBURY presented a Petition from the clergy of the Church of England, for a Revision of the Liturgy of the Church of England. His Lordship said that the petitioners prayed the House to address the Queen to appoint a Commission to revise the Liturgy, a subject which he maintained was regarded by all the thinking portion of the national Church as of paramount importance; and he fancied their Lordships would he disposed to attach greater weight to the petition from the fact that it was signed, not by the laity, but by upwards of 500 clergymen of the Church of England".

....

THE BISHOP OF LONDON said, he was sure there was no man less inclined to mislead their Lordships on this question than his noble Friend (Lord Ebury), nor was there any man who had more at heart the best interests of the Church of England. But their Lordships had been led to believe that what the noble Lord desired was simply to shorten the services of the Church...He was ready to admit that this was an object which a great body of the laity, both enlightened and unenlightened, desired; but he did not think that the right way to shorten the services was to take the course which the petitioners desired.

....

VISCOUNT DUNGANNON concurred in all that had fallen from the noble Earl, and expressed his astonishment that any objection should be raised to our most beautiful and impressive Burial service.

LORD BROUGHAM said, he thought that House a most unfit assembly to discuss questions of a theological character. No doubt there were many parts of the Liturgy which might be amended, or at least shortened; but matters of this kind were better left in the hands of the right rev. Bench....it was related by Dr. Paley that he was once at St. George's Chapel, Windsor, when that Creed was read in the presence of George III. When it was commenced His Majesty did not make the usual responses, and the clergyman, thinking this was from inadvertence, began again, whereupon the King shut his book, and, as Dr. Paley said, "left him to go on with his 'Whosoever,' by himself." George III., therefore, as well as Dr. Paley—one of the most useful champions of the Church—did not look upon this Creed as fit to be retained—he meant in respect of the condemnatory words".

Yes, it's from France:

"If you had a son who wanted to be a priest, would you be happy or unhappy?"

Only 50% of practicing Catholics would be happy, 15% unhappy, 28% indifferent and a mouth-breathing 7% could not muster an opinion. For the overall population, the figures break 24/36/32/8

Asked what are the most important things a priest does, serving a parish followed by teaching the faith leads for practicing Catholics, then spreading the gospel, comforting the bereaved and only then giving the sacraments. Some pretty wonky theology at work there, I think. For the overall population it is comforting the bereaved followed by serving the parish.

Elsewhere, regular mass goers are les in favour of married men taking holy orders than are the backsliders - 74% /85%, likewise priests marrying (1) - 73% / 87%. As to female priests, or as they used to be known, priestesses, a majority is in favour among both the devout and the non-devout at 67% and 84%.


(1) It would be utterly remiss of me not to note that if only Father Frederick Hattersley had continued to cleave to the Mother Church we would have been spared Roy Hattersley. Ah well.

This from German English language daily The Local:

"The Protestant church in Germany rang in the Pentecost holiday weekend by successfully completing a project to summarise the entire Bible via Twitter, thus achieving a world record".

Those diligent Germans included the Apocrypha too.

And here it is, beginning thus:

"Gott schuf Himmel und Erde. Sie war leer. Er erschuf Tag und Nacht. Es kam der erste Tag und es war Gut!"

Even my 25 year old German O level is good enough to work out what that means. All credit to the Evangelische Kirche for this achievement. I think Luther would have approved, and frankly a sight more interesting than the guff one generally sees tweeted.

Maybe I'll start tweeting an out of copyright novel. Here goes - 'Call me Ishmael'....

I skimmed this release earlier, and decided it was too dull to merit mockery or, heaven forfend, analysis, but did note that Tariq Ramadan was along for the bunfight, a man with a degree of form.

And now this from Ha'aretz:

"Jewish delegates boycotted an interfaith meeting hosted by the European Parliament in Brussels on Monday, to protest against the participation of extremist Muslim Brotherhood representatives. "We do not consider it appropriate for organizations such as the Federation of Islamic Organizations in Europe, or individuals who made or endorsed anti-Semitic statements and who are clearly linked to radical Islamist movements such as the Muslim Brotherhood to be present," Rabbi Aba Dunner, executive director of the Conference of European Rabbis (CER), said".

Going back to the original release, some head hanging is due from those quite happy to shoot the breeze with the MBs fellow travellers, I think.

From these parts, we have:

The Right Reverend Steven Lowe, Bishop of Hulme

Yet another impertinent, if strangely compelling, survey from the other side of the channel, this time concerning the afterlife and so forth:

First, all respondents:

In your opinion, what happens after death?

'The resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting' (so to speak) - 10%
'Reincarnation' - 7%
'Something, but I cannot define it' 33%
'Nothing' - 43%
'Don't know' - 7%

Pretty poor for the First Daughter of the Church, but where it gets really weird is with what people would like to happen, and the figures for those choices are 14%, 20%, 26%, 32% and 8%. I would have answered D to the first, but given a choice of one of those things coming to pass, I would definitely choose A. After all, Heaven must be a better option than the dice of the Gods offering some form of re-incarnation, as while believers in previous lives always seem to think they were Queens (hello Shirley McLaine), Emperors, mighty warriors etc, someone does have to man the plague pits, clean the latrines, die of leprosy in infancy etc.

Moving swiftly on, some 6% of practicing Catholics believe in reincarnation, as do 1% of regular worshippers. Further, 8% of regular worshippers think there is a big fat rien after death and 5% don't know. I think a quiet word from the priest is called for.

I was preparing to take umbrage over the referrence by Ainsworth to the Naval Service rather than the Royal Navy, but it does include the Marines and the RFA. Still a rather diminishing name, so I have labelled it the RN in my chart. Anyway, while the Army chaplaincy remains unchanged numbers-wise, both the RN and the RAF have seen falls, although the 2008 figures were described in the answer as provisional. So, does this mean that the RAF and RN are becoming increasingly godless or that they can't get the staff?

Elsewhere, Gregory Campbell wanted to know the cost per inmate of gaols in Northern Ireland: "The target for 2008-09 is £81,500". Not cheap, and I doubt that Ulster lags are living in the lap of luxury.

Julia Goldsworthy has hit upon what ought to be a rich vein to mine:

"To ask the Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families which former (a) hon. Members who left Parliament since 1997 and (b) Members of the House of Lords from each party have been appointed to positions on public bodies within his Department’s responsibility; and who made each appointment".

I would very much like to see that one answered, but I am not going to:

"Sarah McCarthy-Fry: This information is not held centrally. Information on board membership and remuneration is published in individual bodies’ annual reports and accounts"

Lame. Very lame.

Another one throwing out lots of figures:

"Mr. Dunne: To ask the Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs how many leaflets promoting overseas voter registration were sent to each British mission overseas in the last 12 months".

Go on, guess which mission got the most. It would have to be a country swarming with out compatriots, would it not? Somewhere in Western Europe or the Anglosphere, maybe?

Nope, it is our man or woman in Podgorica who is inundated with leaflets, as 500 were sent to Montenegro. Compare that to the 50 for NYC. Ankara also got 500, while third was Athens with 400. Joint fourth with 300 were Bangkok, Jakarta, Manila and Moscow. Port Moresby got eight times the total for New Delhi, and Kigali eight times that for Karachi.

Evan Harris really, really needs to get out more. He has introduced a bill to change the succession to the throne, and 'Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to welcome real progress from the Government on this issue'. Nothing? Come off it.

From, where else, France.

Paris Match, of all things, has polled the Plain People of France on recent decisions by the Pope, lifting excommunications of four bishops raised by Archbishop Lefebvre and permitting the Mass to be said in Latin. As an Anglican (with Calvinist complications) agnostic / atheist, this is not something I can summon much strength of feeling over, but the French seem to feel otherwise.

47% approve of the Mass in Latin, 51% disapprove. I am struggling to see why anyone would object to this, as it is an option, not a fiat. A gentleman of my acquaintance is a seriously devout Catholic who prefers the Mass in Latin, and making this form of worship easier for him and those like him seems like a Good Thing. 27% approve of lifting the excommunication, 70% do not. This has been complicated by the fact of one of the 'bishops' - Richard Williamson -being a Shoah-denier. While this sinks him deep, nay submerges him in odium, it is not theologically relevant.

As to those to whom these issues are pertinent - practicing Catholics, 60% are pro Latin, and 41% pro lifting the excommunication.


Digging around in the socio-demographic detail is half the fun of blogging French surveys, and it is Frontistes (61%) who are keenest on the Mass in Latin. This is not surprising, as there is a certain strain of opinion in France where traditionalist view on a whole range of things seem to coalesce. Greens are the most hostile (39%) for reasons I cannot begin to fathom. Muslims are none to keen at 35% anti, not that it is any of their concern, and given that they use pre-medieval Arabic shows rank hypocrisy too.

As to the excommunication lifting, Trots are the most anti (57%), and Communists (37%) and Gaullists (33%) keenest. A rum business.

Or maybe they are just confused. Pew has had the impertinence to ask Americans of faith whether believers of other faiths are in with a shot at eternal life, and the results are in:

First up, atheists. Some 49% of white (1) Catholics think that atheism can lead to eternal life, whereas only 26% of white evangelicals agree. 46% of white non-evangelical Protestants concur.

Elsewhere, 65% of white Catholics think Hinduism can lead to eternal life, significantly more than the 62% for Islam. White evangelicals are none too keen on either Islam or Hinduism, but are marginally more sympathetic to the latter at 35% to 33%.

White Catholics are the most likely to think Judaism gives the keys to the kingdom at 77% to 62% for Black Protestants. Jews were not polled, but Catholics are more prepared to give Protestants hope than vice versa, at 83% to 73%.

I am indebted to Pew Global for having the impertinence to ask American members of Congress about their religious affiliation, although our American friends do not tend to the shy and retiring when it comes to declaring their faith. And here are figures for 1961 to date:


There are plenty more bits of data I could play around with, but I will restrain myself. Two things of particular interest lurk in the findings, one being the woeful lack of declared non-believers / 'unaffiliated': 0.9% of Congress compared to 16.9% of the Great American public. If agnostics and so forth do not like the often religious prism through which American politics is filtered, they can only blame themselves for being unorganised.

Further, the faiths of the early settlers from these islands loom very large, compared to the public overall - 25.9 are Methodist / Presbyterian / Anglican-Episcopal, relative to 1.4 of the public. Doubtless William Penn would be a little disappointed that Quakers are under-represented. Most heavily over-represented are Jewish Americans - 8.4% of Congress versus 1.7% of Americans and most under-represented Baptists. at 12.4% to 17.2% of Americans.

This calls for an Emo Phillips joke:

"I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop! don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well...are you religious or atheist?" He said, "Religious." I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?" He said, "Christian." I said, "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?" He said, "Baptist!" I said,"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?" He said, "Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you reformed Baptist Church of God?" He said,"Reformed Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are you reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off.

Or so one might think, as Pyongyang has a Korean Council of Religionists, chaired by Jang Jae On. Given that the DPRK is de facto atheist, one doubts that JJO is possessed of 'excessive or affected religious zeal'. The next time interfaith dialogue is undertaken in these parts, I look forward to the Archbishop of Canterbury and the Chief Rabbi describing themselves as religionists in this exciting new DPRK sense.

And what does JJO have to say for him or herself? "The death of Patriarch Alexei II is a great loss for the Russian Orthodox Church and people". And the immortality of the deceased is being prayed for.

Elsewhere, having presumably considered Julius Caesar, Alexander the Great, the Emperor Menelik at Adwa and Mengistu Haile Mariam, the chair of the Addis Ababa Youth Association of Ethiopia reckons Kim Il Song to have been "[an] outstanding strategist and [the] greatest-ever commander".

Meanwhile, they have been packing them in at the Havana Ritzy due to its "week of Korean film show", including such edge of the seat offerings as 'The Flower Girl', 'Wolmi Island' and the star attraction, 'Order No. 027".