Chiswickite - formerly The Croydonian

And they have not let me down (too badly):

"The league match of the 2010 World Cup between the DPRK and Brazil took place at dawn (Pyongyang time) on Wednesday.  From the outset of the match the two teams fought a seesaw battle. The DPRK footballers created good shooting chances, not losing their confidence even after losing two goals.
At about the 88th minute of the match Jong Tae Se headed the ball before passing it to Ji Yun Nam who powerfully kicked it into the rival's goalmouth, scoring a goal.
The DPRK team will meet its Portuguese rival on June 21".

Labels: DPRK-watch, this sporting life

Just seen this at the BBC website.  The blighters do not appear to provide direct play urls for videos, and this will not work outside the UK.  That apart, enjoy.

And this, gifted to me by Dizzy, because he's a preux chevalier:



While I'm awaiting a KCNA report on yesterday's game, revel in the adventures of the Taedonggang Combined Fruit Farm:

"The Taedonggang Combined Fruit Farm in the Wonhung area of Pyongyang has increased its capacity five times..The farm, with well-arranged and vast orchards, ring-shaped roads and waterways and fruit tree nurseries, has put fruit farming on a scientific, intensive and modern basis...The apple slices are turned out through such processes as washing, separation, hot-air drying and vacuum frying and finally packed".

Still nothing from KCNA, but it might be a bit like this, as found in The Guardian:

"Victory!" screams the front page banner headline of North Korean daily the Pyongyang Democrat, above a report outlining how the Democratic People's Republic of Korea torpedoed hapless Brazil in a 29-0 rout, in which bespectacled man of the match, chairman of the National Defence Commission, general secretary of the Workers' Party of Korea, supreme leader and midfield general Kim Jong-il scored 28 goals, with his late father eternal president Kim Il-Sung chipping in with a victory-sealing 30-yard surface-to-air missile in injury-time.

Labels: DPRK-watch, this sporting life

Yup, the DPRK has finally woken up to what happened the other day:

"Pyongyang, May 14 (KCNA) -- DPRK Premier Kim Yong Il Thursday sent a congratulatory message to David Cameron upon his appointment as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
Hoping that the relations between the two countries would develop on good terms, the message wished the Prime Minister successes in his work.
Meanwhile, DPRK Foreign Minister Pak Ui Chun sent a congratulatory message to William Hague upon his appointment as UK foreign secretary".

Given the strange things that have come to pass of late, maybe DC will chummy up with KJI.  I doubt it, however.

 And as a special bonus, the DPRK Insult generator, care of the generous Mr Eugenides.

Labels: DPRK-watch, election 2010

And rather more interesting than the Budget too:

From the usual place:

A spokesman for the National Reconciliation Council (NRC) released the following statement Tuesday to denounce the south Korean puppet conservative group for its recent frantic anti-DPRK smear campaign:
The puppet conservative group, obsessed by an anti-DPRK confrontation ruckus, is using even human scum including defectors to the south as a shock brigade in escalating it only to be jeered by the public at home and abroad.

(All quote marks are in the original)

The group whipped together such riff-raffs as defectors to the south, calling them "future forces for unification". It is busy fabricating what it called the "Alliance for the Movement of Free North", the "Solidarity of NK Intellectuals" and other anti-DPRK plot-breeding organizations. It is even contemplating organizing a preparatory committee for forming a political party called the "Solidarity of Persons for Unification" and letting its candidate to run for the elections to "local self-governing bodies"..iIn another development, the group even let "defectors from the north" to conduct various forms of anti-DPRK smear campaigns such as "broadcasting for reforms in the north", "broadcasting for leading the north to opening" and "daily NK" in a bid to utter a spate of anti-DPRK vituperation. It also made them visit puppet army units and even foreign countries so that they might appear in "security lectures" and "seminars" and at "interviews" to hurl mud at the DPRK. And it instigated them to scatter leaflets, stage such foolish anti-DPRK charade as "opera" and "art performances" and publication of novels and memoirs.

What should not be overlooked is that the puppet group has made no scruple of hurting the supreme headquarters of the DPRK, not content with raising a hue and cry over its situation while working with blood-shot eyes to spy it with human scum involved.

...

It is as clear as a pikestaff that betes noires will make only vituperation just as a crow will never be whiter for often washing.
The groundless mud-slinging made by those human scum who have become living corpses as politicians censured by the people for their despicable acts of treachery and those anti-DPRK plot breeders who rely on them only betrays their wretched plight as betes noires.

As a foot note, I acquired a coffee table book on the DPRK the other day - well, it was remaindered from £25 to £3, but it proved devoid of any particularly good anecdotes. 

Labels: DPRK-watch

Note this uplifting headline / opening para, especially given the horrors that tomorrow holds:


It certainly caught my attention....

Anyway, some detail:

In Juche 44 (1955) the Republic lowered the blue and white collar workers' income tax 30 percent and radically reduced taxes of handicraftsmen, businessmen and merchants. It also brought down the peasants' tax in kind at 20.1 percent on an average from 25 percent of the yield, and again at 8.4 percent since 1959.
With the production relationship transformed on socialist lines and solid foundations of socialist industrialization laid, it pushed ahead with preparations for the abolition of the tax system and eliminated agricultural tax in kind in 1966.
Thus only the income tax paid by the industrial and non-industrial workers and some amount of local taxes still remained in the DPRK.
The President had a historic law, "On Abolishing the Tax System," adopted at the third session of the 5th Supreme People's Assembly of the DPRK convened in March 1974 to finally do away with the tax system in the country.

I think I would rather suffer even our iniquitous tax system than live in an economy where the state owns the entirety of the means of production and thus can get its greasy mitts on one's income etc without going through the palaver of pay slip with itemised deductions.

Labels: DPRK-watch, Taxes

Absolutely no apologies for revisiting the Hermit Kingdom again:

Turns out that the North Korean hacks are not going to be undergoing re-education in brass instrument playing, but rather the comment is figurative:

Labels: DPRK-watch, headlines

Snappy sloganeering at its most DPRK-esque:


"Let the entire nation unite under the banner of north-south joint declarations and achieve national reunification at the earliest date!"

Meanwhile, the Finns will have something with which to curl up during the long winter nights:


"General Secretary Kim Jong Il's work "On Having a Correct Understanding on Nationalism" was brought out in booklet by the Finnish Communists' Association and the Finnish National Committee for the Study of the Juche Idea on Feb. 14....The work deals with the formation and development of nationalism and the essence of genuine nationalism and its progressive nature, and tasks to preserve the national identity and defend and realize independence of the nation".

The ideal Valentine's day gift I'm sure.

Elsewhere, KJI has been receiving birthday greetings:

< Rashed Khan Menon, chairman of the Central Committee of the
Workers' Party of Bangladesh, and Hasanul Huq Inu, chairman of the
Central Executive Committee of the Bangladesh National Socialist
Party, noted that thanks to the original Songun policy of Kim Jong Il
peace and stability are being preserved on the Korean Peninsula and
the DPRK has turned into a military power which no formidable
enemy dares provoke.

My emphasis...

Labels: DPRK-watch

Last year I tallied up all the Dear Leader's doings for the year, with the following result:


So, I thought I might as well do the same for 2009:

So, whereas 2008 was a year of military inspections, in 2009 the emphasis was squarely on field guidance.  I suppose one can imagine that the joy of the military in being left alone, comparatively speaking, is matched by the misery of the workers and peasants of the Pyongyang Cornstarch Factory, Oguk Co-op farm, Suphung Power Station etc etc.

Labels: DPRK-watch, fun with statistics

See, all the old favourites are emerging from the wainscotting now.

"The ABC of the United States reported that the CIA set up and operated two secret prisons in Vilnius, the capital of Lithuania, and in its vicinity in 2004 and 2005 for the purpose of confining and interrogating Al-Qaeda related and other terrorists...

...All forms of torture such as no-sleep torture, sex torture and hairy caterpillar torture are being practiced against prisoners in the U.S. overseas secret prisons, stunning the world people".

Can't say that I am that enthused by the idea of having caterpillars, even bald ones, crawling on me, but I think worse things have been known.

Labels: DPRK-watch, war on terror

I'm supposed to be working today (bet you are all jealous of the merry life of a freelancer...), but it would be selfish not to share this:


"The Taedonggang Combined Fruit Farm has come into being in Wonhung area in Samsok District, Pyongyang. Until last year, the area had remained a small rural community consisting of a few outdated villages with a zigzag river and uneven paddy and dry fields".

Shocking...

"In a matter of less than a year, the villages have all moved and nestled under a hill, the river course changed, a large hill totally disappeared and the patches turned into a large-scale orchard".

I'm sure the doubtless good people of the Wonhung area were just delighted about having their area insulted and then having the fun of being relocated like so.

Anyway, onwards:

"General Secretary Kim Jong Il visited the farm and enjoyed a bird's-eye view of the orchard with pleasure. Taking an appetizing apple weighing 550g (1.2lb) in his hand, he said Korea has one more pride, the eleventh scenic spot of the Songun era, this year when the Korean people's dreams have come true".

Hmm, I cannot think of many countries where even the prettiest fruit farm would make the top thousand most scenic spots.And note, there is no mention of KJI having eaten the apple.  Maybe if he had, he might have acquired knowledge of good and evil.....

Labels: DPRK-watch

Labels: DPRK-watch

He went to the Kanggye Stock Farm, and what a lot of adventures he had too:



Must be a new variety of duck.


"Fisting (sic) his eyes on the farm reminiscent of a picture--its branches at the foot of each mountain, modern dwelling houses, production buildings and entertainment and service facilities that stand in rows at the sunny foot of a mountain--, he noted that there is one more spectacular scenery on the bank of the brightly lit River Jangja".

Indeed.

Elsewhere, the DPRK is a bit unhappy with Japan.  Again:


"It is an invariable wild ambition of Japan and its strategic goal for emerging a military power to go nuclear...Japan's nuclear weaponization is becoming a reality, not just speculation and hypothesis. The danger of such moves lies in that Japan seeks to launch overseas aggression for world domination after going nuclear.

If Japan had wanted to go nuclear, it would have done so decades ago....

Labels: DPRK-watch

"After five and a half years in operation, the Goethe-Institut in North Korea has said it will close its reading room in the capital city of Pyongyang due to censorship concerns. The institute, a non-profit organization that promotes the study of German language and culture in 91 countries, opened the reading room in June 2004. It was the first and only Western cultural institution to establish itself in the communist country". 

Raimund Woerdemann, director of the Goethe-Institut in Seoul [said] "The building in which the reading room was located was often locked from the front," he said. "There was a permanent construction site in front of the back entrance: not a welcoming situation."

(Can I be blamed for taking the opportunity to use that headline?)

And since I'm in show off mode - just for a change - time for my favourite Faust quote, which may or may not apply to KJI:  "Es irrt der Mensch, solang er strebt".  Or 'One errs as long as one offers field guidance to the Sariwon chicken farm strives'. 

Labels: DPRK-watch

"A united Korea - combining Asia’s fourth biggest economy with one of its poorest - could surpass that of Germany or Japan in economic might in the next 30-40 years, US investment bank Goldman Sachs said Tuesday".

Labels: business, DPRK-watch

"While near-consensus had been reached on many issues that had stymied reform of the Security Council for years, questions about exactly how to expand the 15‑member body in a way that guaranteed its effectiveness remained a stubborn snag in building on progress, General Assembly delegates said today as they wrapped up their two-day joint debate on those and other security matters".

And where, one might think, would there be scope for an epic Japano-Korean bust up there?

Oh but there was.... And the DPRK started it:


SIN SON HO (Democratic People’s Republic of Korea) said although Security Council reform had been on the Assembly’s agenda for 15 years, discussions continued spinning with no results.  No progress was achieved with regard to adequate representation of developing countries within the body, and recently specific countries abused it for political purposes by forcing it to unlawfully deal with issues beyond its mandate.  That had led the international community to discredit the Council....Continuing, he said non-aligned and other developing countries, including Africans, which constituted the overwhelming majority of Membership, needed to be adequately represented on the Security Council.  Japan, however, should never be granted a seat, since “it revives militaristic ambition by persistently denying the history of aggression, instead of recognizing and repairing its crime-woven past.”  Any discussions on Japan’s status based on its contribution to United Nations activities were a dangerous move and a shame of the international community.  This would only instigate Japan’s unaccomplished ambition for realizing the “Great Asia Common Prosperity Sphere.”


The Japanese did not like that:

Speaking in exercise of the right of reply, the representative of Japan said his comments were related to the comments made earlier by the representative of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.  It was regrettable that Japan had to respond to such comments when other delegations were seriously engaged in the debate of today’s topics.  Japan firmly believed that the qualifications of a given country for permanent membership in the Council should be based on that country’s real contribution to the maintenance of international peace and security.  Japan was committed to peace and had been trying its best to live up to this standard.

Regarding the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea delegate’s reference to the “unfortunate past”, Japan could not accept those references by that delegation because Japan had been facing up to its past with sincerity and consistency since the end of World War II.  Japan had been consistently dedicating itself for more than 60 years to promoting international peace and prosperity and demonstrating respect for democracy and human rights.

And the DPRK did not like that:

Responding, the representative of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea said Japan was not qualified for a permanent seat in the Security Council. In order to clarify the issue, he said Japan had killed one million Koreans, and provided “comfort women” for the Japanese army.  While Japan said that it had done all it could to rectify that situation, Japan used the word “apology” only when it felt it needed to redress the political situation. In addition, he said Japanese officials explained away the incidents by saying that comfort women were sold by their parents and they were prostitutes. He called those “inhumane and insane remarks.”


Fearing their crimes would be revealed, he said the Japanese had destroyed evidence and deleted facts from school textbooks under official connivance of the Government.  Well known political figures had honoured war criminals and human slaughter.  Such ceremony was emblematic of Japan’s “blood stained past crimes.” Most victims of sex slavery still lived in suffering.  He added that Japanese denials of its criminal history meant it could repeat its crimes and potentially attempt another “old fashioned mission for a Great Asian Prosperity Sphere.”  He said that it wasn’t the money that counted, but the sincere manner that one conducted itself as a Member State of the United Nations.

And the Japanese did not like that:

Responding, the representative of Japan strongly asserted that his country would not accept “baseless allegations” levelled by the representative of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, and described those allegations as being “full of foul language”.  He said it was reprehensible that the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea representative could use the forum of the General Assembly as a platform to direct unsubstantiated allegations against his country. 

And the DPRK returned serve....

Responding, the representative of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea said his delegation had raised the subject during the debate on Council reform because it had wanted to clarify the issue.  Japan had destroyed the strategic balance of the region and refused to apologize for its past crimes.  It had joined the United States system of the balance of power.  “Who was the agent that threatened the peace and stability of the region?” he asked. Japan had used outer space for military purposes.  It was worth noting that Japan had persisted in its ill-minded behaviour by condemning the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea satellite launch in April.  Japan had knocked at the door of the Council to adopt a resolution against his country.   Japan was not in a right position to blame any other countries.  Japan had committed crimes of the past and the present.

A bid for a permanent council seat did not match with Japan’s true picture.  It was more advisable that Japan should do more to liquidate its bloody past and act accordingly. So the issue would never be debated at the Assembly.

Whereupon the Japanese, and presumably everybody else, ran out of patience.

Labels: DPRK-watch, Japan, UN

Our man in Gib, the splendid All Seeing Eye, has been kind enough to let me have first crack at this:

Enjoy....

Labels: DPRK-watch

From the usual place:

"Kim Yong Nam, president of the Presidium of the DPRK Supreme People's Assembly, Tuesday sent a congratulatory message to Hamid Karzai upon his reelection as President of Afghanistan.
Extending congratulations to Karzai upon his reelection as President of Afghanistan, Kim in the message wished him success in his work".

At least Karzai allowed the opposition to mount a campaign, I suppose.

Meanwhile, some freshly minted figures of speech in a denunciation of the US for calling the DPRK on 'human rights'

Sometimes the truth emerges from unlikely sources:


"We do not know what is the West's conception of human rights. But such "human rights issue" touted by the West has (sic) never existed in the DPRK and it cannot exist here".

"[The US] pin hope on the "human rights" strategy like a drowning man trying to catch a straw. 

"Its attempt to do harm to the DPRK through such long-bankrupt "human rights offensive" is as foolish an act as trying to sweep the sea with a broom". 

Meanwhile, overweening ambition corner:

The DPRK has produced many students with brilliant mathematical talent.

Among them is Ri Un Song of Pyongyang Secondary School No. 1 who bagged gold medals two times running in the 49th IMO for 2008 and 50th IMO for 2009 held in Germany in July.He likes composition and reading and is good at physical culture. It is his hope to become a competent scientist.

Labels: DPRK-watch, Elections

At least according to "A scientific and unbiased ranking of world leaders in order of hotness", our own dear PM ranks 84th, bettering Manmohan Singh of India but is pipped by Tertius Zongo of Burkina Faso. Or Upper Volta as she used to be known.

Moreover there is more good news, with long time favourite of this blog, Kim Jong Il rated the world's least hot ruler, behind Pope Benedict XVI.  Yulia Tymoshenko of Ukraine is the current leader  

Labels: DPRK-watch, The Worst Prime Minister Since Goderich

Labels: DPRK-watch, food and drink

It could only be the DPRK update:

"Han Tong Man, secretary general of the [Anglers Association], told KCNA that it had done much toward encouraging angling in the country, helping the working people enjoy rich cultural and emotional life".  Source

Not sure I would consider the facilitation of 'the one that got away' tales as enriching one's emotional life, but what do I know? Fishing has never been my thing.

Meanwhile, old man Kim's adventures in a cabbage field:

"President Kim Il Sung gave field guidance to the Oryu Co-op Farm, Sadong District, Pyongyang one day in June Juche 63 (1974).  He went to a cabbage field where the cabbage grew well....After a while the President asked a farm official whether the cabbage had been hit by hailstones.  At that moment the official was very surprised.  Actually the cabbages had suffered a slight damage from hail when young. However, the cabbages were unusually in good condition so that it was difficult to find the marks of damage. The President found out instantly the marks that even the peasants and experts could hardly do. The officials were deeply moved by his extraordinary observation".

Labels: DPRK-watch