Chiswickite - formerly The Croydonian

..but worth repeating because it is highly amusing:

Big Bother
Polling Station | United Kingdom

(A young girl of 18 or 19, clearly a first-time voter, skips the line and rushes up to my table.)

Me: “I’m sorry, you’ll have to wait. There’s a line.”

Voter: “I’m sorry, but it’s important! I need to get my ballot paper back. I voted for the wrong person!”

Me: “Alright, give me the spoiled one.”

Voter: “I can’t. I put it in the box.”

Me: “Then I’m afraid we can’t get it back. The boxes can’t be opened until the end of voting at ten o’clock.”

Voter: “But I didn’t know! I don’t want the Conservatives to get in so I voted for [Conservative candidate]. I should have voted for someone else!”

Me: “Um, why did you vote for the Conservative?”

(The girl turns scarlet and looks utterly miserable.)

Voter: “I thought it was like TV where you vote them off!”

(Found at notalwaysright.com, an amusing collection of tales of customer etc idiocy)

Labels: election 2010, Light relief

....and had a well-developed taste for the ironic and the po-mo , it might come up with something like these offerings from Zazzle.co.uk:


Can't say I have a particular yen for any of them, but they are rather droll.

Labels: election 2010

Yup, the DPRK has finally woken up to what happened the other day:

"Pyongyang, May 14 (KCNA) -- DPRK Premier Kim Yong Il Thursday sent a congratulatory message to David Cameron upon his appointment as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
Hoping that the relations between the two countries would develop on good terms, the message wished the Prime Minister successes in his work.
Meanwhile, DPRK Foreign Minister Pak Ui Chun sent a congratulatory message to William Hague upon his appointment as UK foreign secretary".

Given the strange things that have come to pass of late, maybe DC will chummy up with KJI.  I doubt it, however.

 And as a special bonus, the DPRK Insult generator, care of the generous Mr Eugenides.

Labels: DPRK-watch, election 2010

Despite my highest mathematical achievement being a 'C' at 'O' level (for which I needed coaching...), I derive much pleasure from fiddling around with electoral statistics, and armed with the turnout figures for the election I have derived an electorate of 45,533,309 and have then allocated the 650 seats to the regions based on actual population, rather than the near-gerrymandered ones we actually voted for.  This sees the following adjustments:

Wales -8
SW +2
SE +6
London +2
Eastern +3
East Midlands +2
West Midlands -1
North West - unchanged
Yorkshire & Humberside -1
North East -1
Scotland -4
NI -1

If each party had secured the same percentage of seats in each region under these theoretical boundaries as they did last week, the Tories would have an extra nine seats (316), Labour would have lost seven (251), the LDs would be flat and PC would have lost one (2).  The vegetation-coloured Far Left of Brighton Pavillion would be unchanged.  I have assumed that Thirsk will stay blue.  Northern Ireland presents something of a problem, in that rounding up and down confuses things horribly....

This still leaves us in hung Parliament territory, but Con + DUP comes to 324, and given that the Shinners are not keen on turning up to vote, Lab+LD+SNP+PC+SDLP+Alliance+Sylvia Hermon comes to 322.

Interesting, no?

Update - Idle Pen Pusher has been doing something similar, and it is well worth the read..

Labels: election 2010, fun with statistics, psephology

This was found at B3ta, and shows 'In a bid to appeal to the younger electorate, the leaders of the three main parties...a fourth televised debate, in the form of a rap battle'.  If this has already done the rounds and I'm late to the party, apologies.

Anyway, enjoy.

 

Labels: election 2010, Light relief

Just so you know.  I did this in November 2008, and think it is worth re-visiting:

In 2004 173,351 people in the South East of England voted for the Green Party in the form of Caroline Lucas. I was not one of them, surprisingly enough. She crept in via the D'Hondt list system, not FPP, naturally.

Rooting around among some of my lesser used bookmarks, I chanced upon the 'People Before Profit' charter, via the SWP's website. Google will bring up the references, there being some sites I refuse to link to.

This is it:

1. Wage increases no lower than the rate of inflation as given by the Retail Price Index. No to the government’s 2 percent pay limit.
2. Increase tax on big companies. Introduce a windfall tax on corporation superprofits, especially those of the oil companies.
3. Repeal the Tory anti-union laws. Support the Trade Union Freedom Bill.
4. Unsold houses and flats should be taken over by local councils to ease the housing crisis. No house repossessions. For an emergency programme of council house building.
5. Stop the privatisation of public services. Free and equal health and education services available to all.
6. End the occupations of Iraq and Afghanistan and use the money to expand public services. Stop the erosion of civil liberties.
7. Abolish tax on fuel and energy for old people and the poor. Re-establish the link between wages and pensions.
8. No to racism. No to the British National Party. No scapegoating of immigrants.
9. Reintroduce grants and abolish tuition fees for students.
10. Increase the minimum wage to £8.00 an hour.

Definitively hard left, is it not?

Ms Lucas likes it a lot:

"I fully support the Charter and am happy to lend it my support. However, I would also encourage you to seek to broaden its appeal by addressing the lack of any environmental perspective or reference to the causes of the current economic crisis and unemployment. To this end, I recommend that two additions be made to the Charter as follows:
● Fight rising unemployment with massive investment in energy saving and renewable
energy.
● End the free for all and regulate financial institutions".

That the Greens are not just a bunch of tree huggers but firmly on the hard left has been obvious for years, but I do wonder how many of those 173,351 voters realise their MP makes common ground with 4th International Trots. Note that the only other extreme left party to stand, Respect, reaped a grand total of 13,426 votes.

Labels: election 2010, Greenery

Borrowed from b3ta.com user benito vasselini.  Can't say I agree with the sentiments, but it IS funny:

Labels: election 2010, Light relief

Ok, not the content, but the hair:

Labels: election 2010, facetiousness

I've just been sent this, and seeing as the research is interesting I am giving the commissioning company a namecheck:


"New research out today from Peverel Retirement shows retirees are likely to be the difference between success and failure for the Tories when the UK goes to the polls on 6 May.

A survey conducted by Opinion Matters on behalf of the UK’s leading property retirement company has found 34% of over 65-year-olds, approximately 3.3 million of the population, say they intend to vote for the Conservatives. This figure significantly exceeds support levels for the two main other parties, with only 14% and 13% of the same age group backing Labour and the Liberal Democrats respectively...The Peverel Retirement report, named Thinking about the Future, also found the most important policy issue to those aged 65-plus was healthcare and the state of the NHS (69%). This was closely followed by pensioner welfare (including fuel benefits) at 67%. However, politicians’ ideas for getting the economy back on track will only have a major influence on 54% of pensioner votes".

Labels: election 2010

Compare and contrast on p46 of the Labour manifesto:

We created the right to request flexible working for parents and carers.

And


By the end of the next Parliament we will ensure that the right to flexible working is extended for older
people.

Incidentally, in a rare outbreak of the Lib Dems getting something right where the other two get it wrong, the LDs index their manifesto.  For which thanks.

Labels: election 2010, pedantry

For my sins work reasons, I am reading through the party manifestos, and since I do not feel I should suffer alone, some findings:

The Conservative manifesto mentions 'Labour' some 75 times.

The Labour Manifesto mentions 'Conservative' once and 'Tory' five times.

(To be updated with LD figures, as and when)

Labels: election 2010, fun with statistics

And another one.  This time I have Conservative up 15 (24), Labour down 17 (27) and LD unchanged on three.  2005 map here.

And the counties (decidedly not to scale):


Data:

Labels: election 2010, psephology

And even more....  I make it Conservatives 37 (+ 9), Labour 1 (-9) - achieving a near wipe out and LD unchanged at two.  2005 map here.

The five counties:



Source data:

Labels: election 2010, psephology

More of the same.  Conservatives + 5, Labour -6, LD -1, Plaid +2, Independent unchanged.  2005 map here.

The map:



And the data:

Labels: election 2010, psephology

I have been looking at the current state of betting over at Betfair, and based on the shortest odds, I am calling London's results as Conservative - 36, Labour - 31 and LD - 6. (E&OE....) Having peered at a 2005 results map, I make that C + 15, L - 13 and LD  - 2.  There are the issues of boundary changes and the Brent / Croydon Central problems, but I think the exercise was worth doing.

Here's a rough and ready map - and the Tories taking Poplar and Limehouse *is* how the market is calling it:

There's a 2005 results map here.

I am quite keen on repeating the exercise with other areas, so if anyone would like to volunteer to take a region, supply some smarter looking graphics, or if those nice people at Betfair would like to pitch in with an easier way of accessing the data, full credit will be given, along with my undying gratitude.

Here's a screenshot of my workings:

Labels: election 2010, psephology