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Really rather good.

Saturday, July 05, 2008


Spotted at b3ta.

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Obama was beaten to it by years

Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Not by Alan Keyes, nor yet Jesse Jackson. And it was a fair while back too - Louis Jordan had a tilt in 1952.

Regrettably, 'Jordan for President' is not on youtube, but I can offer up an audio extract of his campaign.

And, courtesy of Guido van Rijn's 'The Truman and Eisenhower Blues' (Contiunuum, 2004), the lyrics and a campaign photograph:

spoken: All right, folks of this strivin' community:
If I'm elected your President,

Every Sunday evening at two-thirty,
I'll entertain all your kiddies on the White House lawn.

spoken: All right, folks: if you send me to Washington as your leader,

I'll personally see to it that every living American gets his portion, (after I get mine.)
spoken: All right, folks: we all are worrying about the coming election,

But you know, folks, we gotta make the proper selection.

And I wanna get all you people straight about all the candidates:
Now, if you want a man with a good offer,
Then cast your ballot for Kefauver.

And you can rest and be assured,

You'll get no graft from Taft.

But if you want administration that will groove you,

That will move you, and keep you sent:

Vote for Jordan for President!

That's me, folks, on the swing ticket

Now, if you want to get the military bit straight,

We all know that MacArthur would be great

And if you want a hipster, that'll take no sassin',
Then vote for Stassen.
But if you want to walk on the sunny side of the street,

With a candidate with a beat,

Vote for Jordan for President!

That's right folks!

You know, folks, I ain't runnin' no chicken in the pot campaign:

Everybody's gonna drink champagne!

And in every city I'm gonna install a rhythm committee.

(Pass out them cigars there, boy!)

And on my birthday everybody in the USA is gonna get new shoes,

We're goin' dancin', nobody will get the blues.

No longer will I be on a phonograph record:

I'm gonna be on Congressional Record!

If you want the man of the hour,

Then vote for Eisenhower.

And, ladies and gentlemen:

Don't sit there and sob,

'Cause Truman don't want the job.
But if you want a candidate that's real cool,

Don't vote for the elephant or the mule?
Vote for me!
Vote for Jordan for President!
Folks, if you send me to the White House,
we all will serve - time!
Vote for Jordan for president!

I'll put everybody on Relief!
Vote for Jordan for President!
If you wanna hustle with Russell, go ahead!

Vote for Jordan for President!
Folks, if you stick with me, I’ll put everybody in the race!
Vote for Jordan for President!
Write in for me, folks!"



I've seen people get elected on worse platforms....


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Old but good

Thursday, May 22, 2008


I still can't watch the intro to the BBC News without thinking of this.

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Norwegian humour - and very funny it is too

Friday, May 16, 2008

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The leave me alone box

Monday, April 28, 2008


Further detail here.

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The kosher guide to imaginary animals

Tuesday, April 22, 2008
As found at Jeff Vandermeer's Ecstatic Days, via a pointer at BBSpot.

Most are pretty obvious, based on the key elements of Mosaic law, but herewith some extracts:

Arkan Sonney (fairy hedgehog) - A: “No, because hedgehogs aren’t kosher, so a fairy hedgehog wouldn’t be any different, monkey.” EM: “But they’re delicious!” A: “Even so.”

Chupacabra
- A: “It’s definitely a carnivore.” EM: “What if it’s just for show and they don’t eat their prey?” A: “Well I’m sure they don’t chew their cud and have cloven hooves unless the chupacabra turns out to be some kind of mutant cow.”

ET - A: “…..?” EM: “It had cloven hooves.” A: “It’s a humanoid.” EM: “It looked like a pile of dung. It seemed to chew cud. Would any alien be automatically un-kosher?” A: “I guess it really depends on the alien–like a plant?” EM: “An alien that comes down to Earth.” A: “No, because they wouldn’t be considered an animal.” EM: “What if they looked just like a cow, but with a brain?” A: “Cows have brains.” EM: “Arggh!” A: “But cows don’t travel to other planets using their brains.” EM: “My point exactly!” A: “Anything intelligent is not kosher.”

Jackalope - A: “No, rabbits are not kosher.”

Mongolian Death Worm - A: “No, because you cannot eat anything that crawls on its belly.”

Pollo Maligno (cannibalistic chicken spirit) - A: “When you say cannibalistic, do you mean a chicken that eats other chickens or a chicken that eats humans?” EM: “When I say Pollo Maligno, I have no idea what I mean except I sound fierce.” A: “Well, chickens are kosher, but if it’s eating meat, probably not…” EM: “POLLO MALIGNO! POLLO MALIGNO!”

And finally, some good news:

Vegetable Lamb of Tartary - A: “Oh, absolutely kosher! Vegetables are kosher and lambs are kosher! Nice combination. How about some mint with that meal!”

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Keeping a sense of proportion

Friday, April 18, 2008
This is good, but *really* needs sound turned on:



The three hour bit is a fabrication, apparently. More on 'cloudy with a chance of fabulous' here.

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A challenge to the readership - political food

Wednesday, April 16, 2008
The New York Times has an interesting piece on the political demographics of certain foodstuffs:

"If there’s butter and white wine in your refrigerator and Fig Newtons in the cookie jar, you’re likely to vote for Hillary Clinton. Prefer olive oil, Bear Naked granola and a latte to go? You probably like Barack Obama, too. And if you’re leaning toward John McCain, it’s all about kicking back with a bourbon and a stuffed crust pizza while you watch the Democrats fight it out next week in Pennsylvania.

...

For example, Dr Pepper is a Republican soda. Pepsi-Cola and Sprite are Democratic. So are most clear liquors, like gin and vodka, along with white wine and Evian water. Republicans skew toward brown liquors like bourbon or scotch, red wine and Fiji water. When it comes to fried chicken, he said, Democrats prefer Popeyes and Republicans Chick-fil-A. “Anything organic or more Whole Foods-y skews more Democratic,” Mr. [Matthew] Dowd [ex Bush strategist] said
".

Sadly I cannot run to funding a survey, but perhaps readers would care to make some suggestions?

I'll start off with a couple of sitters - 'fair trade' goods must skew left, and deliberate buying of Jaffa Oranges / Carmel avocados must place one on the side of the angels.....

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Deckchairs at half-mast....

Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Because the father of Benidorm has just finished his stay on planet earth - Pedro Zaragoza, former mayor of the place and the architect of its growth has died at 85. More at El País.

And an anecdote that deserves a wider audience: "In the 1950s Zaragoza famously prohibited offensive remarks being made about women in bikinis".

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When politicians go bad

Thursday, March 27, 2008
Like this character in Nevada:




Think, maybe, she has her eye on prospective political advantage or, perchance, a lawsuit?

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Oh dear....

Tuesday, March 25, 2008


Admittedly my Bulgarian is a bit rusty, but...

Turns out there is, or rather was, a noted Ken Lee - a Chinese Australian businessman who co-founded the Oz equivalent of Dixons.

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Light relief

Thursday, March 20, 2008
The wit of Ronald the Great:



With thanks to Justin for IM-ing me the link.

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Wikipedia vandalism - naughty, but occasionally comic

Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Found in an entry on a south London school:

"The Lockheed Martin Fiasco"

In the Spring of 1998 the school came under some scrutiny after twelve F-22 Raptor fighter jets were discovered in a base built into the school's foundations. It was later confirmed that Lockheed Martin, a leading multinational aerospace manufacturer and advanced technology company, had signed a $4.9 billion deal with NASA. They planned to have military stations based around the UK encase of 'external invasion', this included core site New Cross, coded-named 'Z Sector'. It transpired the London Borough Council of Lewisham had major shares in this transaction, recieved for allowing the base to be built. To this day it is unknown whether the base is in disuse, but according to one Offsted report: "We see F-22 Raptors, C-130 Hercules', A-4AR Fightinghawks and the DSCS-3 satellites being transported in and out of here daily, heck, we wouldn't be suprised to see an AGM-159 JASSM missile get towed through the playground straight after morning break."

Doubtless it will be edited out before long.

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Minor subbing disasters of our time

Sunday, February 17, 2008
From today's Sunday Times (News Review, page 5, for those who want to find it and have it framed):


I believe the minister in question is actually Phil Woolas.

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One up from faxing a pizza

Friday, February 08, 2008
USB wine.

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Obama's manifesto revealed

Friday, January 25, 2008
As recorded by the man himself for Letterman, and lifted from the Chicago Tribune:



10. To keep the budget balanced, I’ll rent the situation room for sweet sixteens.

9. I will double your tax money at the craps table.

8. Appoint Mitt Romney secretary of lookin’ good.

7. If you bring a gator to the White House, I’ll wrassle it.

6. I’ll put Regis on the nickel.
(I think this refers to Regis Philbin)

5. I’ll rename the tenth month of the year “Barack-tober.”

4. I won’t let Apple release the new and improved Ipod the day after you bought the previous model.

3. I’ll find money in the budget to buy Letterman a decent hairpiece.

2. Pronounce the word nuclear, nuclear.

1. Three words: Vice President Oprah.

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Alas poor Zagreb - the world's least loved city

Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Or at least it is judging by a publicity stunt cooked up by the US copyright holders of Monopoly. Hasbro has come up with a list of 68 world cities which will be winnowed down to 20 by popular vote. Paris leads from London, NY, Rome and Sydney, while Agram (as it was under the Hapsburgs), Bratislava (Pressburg, Poszony...) , Bucharest and Ljubljana (Laibach) are joint last.

Vienna and Budapest fare a little better, otherwise one might think that there is a concerted campaign against Mitteleuropa.

There is scope for two write-in wild cards to qualify as Old Kent Road and Whitechapel, and Volendam and Cork are leading that list at the moment. I suspect that there is a campaign behind the former, as it has a population of all of 22,000.

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The way some people fill their time

Friday, January 11, 2008
Like recreating the climactic battle at the end of the Lord of the Rings in confectionery. Yes, really



Further details at the man's blog.

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Light Relief

Monday, November 19, 2007


Or the Muppet Show version:


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Really rather good....

Thursday, October 25, 2007


Or as a click through.

At least there's no Mel Gibsion this time.

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