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Unlikely to be coming to a cinema near you...

Tuesday, July 27, 2010
After something of a hiatus, say hello to the absurdities of the EU's attempts to get into the movies, so to speak:

"Akadimia Platonos, Die Fremde and Illégal were the three films shortlisted on Tuesday for the European Parliament's 2010 LUX film prize, during an event at the Venice International Film Festival. Like past LUX Prize contenders, these films speak to Europeans' hearts and identities, forcing us to ask ourselves about our cultural and family relations, and the rules by which we live....
As with previous winners the 2010 LUX Prize winning film will receive European Parliament financial support for subtitling the film into all the 23 official languages of the European Union (EU), (So it will be inflicted on the Maltese, inter alia.  C) an adaptation of the original version for the visually- or hearing-impaired, and the production of a 35 mm print per EU member state.

And the synopses of the three.  I am *NOT* making these up.


Akadimia Platonos (Plato's Academy)

Every day Stavros raises the metal shutters of his cigarette store, puts out the newspapers in front and then sets out the chairs where he and his friends sit all day, looking out on the dusty intersection and surrounding grey buildings that shelter their businesses. They’re all very proud of the way their dog Patriot, on the opposite pavement, barks at every passing Albanian. Stavros and his friends don’t like these foreigners even though they’re willing to do the jobs the Greeks won’t do, nor do they like the recently arrived Chinese. By the store’s entrance, Stavros’ increasingly senile mother mopes in an armchair, regardless of the affectionate care lavished on her by her devoted son. Then one day she suddenly falls upon an Albanian worker, embracing him and calling him «my son» in Albanian. In fact, what does Stavros really know about his parents? His mother has always told him that after his father died up north, she moved to Athens, when he was but a year old. Now Stavros’ pals start looking askance at him: is he Greek or Albanian? Does he really have the right to sing the racist little ditty: «Albanian, Albanian, you’ll never become a Greek…»?
And there's more...


Die Fremde (When we leave)
What would you sacrifice for your family’s love? Your values? Your freedom? Your independence? German-born Umay flees her oppressive marriage in Istanbul, taking her young son Cem with her. She is hoping to find a better life with her family in Berlin, but her unexpected arrival creates intense conflict. Her family is trapped in their conventions, torn between their love for her and the values of their community. Ultimately they decide to return Cem to his father in Turkey. To keep her son, Umay is forced to move again. She finds the inner strength to build a new life for her and Cem, but her need for her family’s love drives her to a series of ill-fated attempts at reconciliation. What Umay doesn’t realize is just how deep the wounds have gone and how dangerous her struggle for self- determination has become.




And yet more:

Illégal

Tania and her 14 year-old son Ivan are illegal immigrants from Russia, who have been living in Belgium for 8 years. In a permanent state of alert, Tania lives in constant fear of having her identity checked by the police - until the day she is arrested. Mother and the son are separated. Tania is placed in a holding centre. She does everything in her power to find her son again, in spite of the constant threat of deportation hanging over her head.
Each of the directors has worked out on which side of the bread lies the butter, and seem to have got their Sally Field-type speeches in early

Akadimia Platonos director Filippos Tsitos - "Making small, independent, non-English speaking movies nowadays can be compared to swimming in a wild ocean at night. You constantly feel like you are about to drown. So you are thankful for anything that helps you stay out of the water.”

To which one might rebut that it is a bit selfish to expect the coastguard to shadow one's nocturnal swimming excursions...

Die Fremde director Feo Aladag "We would like to address our very special thanks to the European Parliament for promoting European films in order to make them cross borders and travel around Europe through the LUX Prize, to reach a widespread audience and to promote diversity, solidarity and hope in our societies."

'Widespread', eh Feo?  Don't count on it.


Illégal director Olivier Masset-Depasse: “I hope to create as wide a debate as possible across Europe. The LUX Prize would be an excellent starting point as wide a dissemination of this film as possible.”

Claiming to want to 'start a debate' etc is, I think, invariably a lie.  What it actually means is, 'I want you to agree with me'.

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62% of Britons have not heard of the Common Agricultural Policy

Thursday, April 08, 2010
(If that headline looks familiar, it is because I've used it before). 

Eurobarometer has just published its annual EU agricultural survey, including this question:

"Have you ever heard or read about the CAP, the European Union’s Common Agricultural Policy?"  And a mere 38% of my compatriots said yes, down from 43% in 2007.  The EU average is 41%, with a French peak of 66% and a Maltese trough of 19%.

All the ranty points from 2007 hold, so fee free to have a look at the archive.

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Who's afraid of swine flu?

Thursday, March 11, 2010
The Irish, apparently, as according to a eurobarometer poll on all things H1N1, some 68% are very or somewhat concerned that it 'may develop into a serious risk in my country'. 

Hidden in their alpine fastnesses, the Austrians and the Swiss are the most blasé, with 73% not concerned.  We err on the side of panic, with 55% concerned, compared to an EU average of 41%.  Elsewhere, some 16% of Maltese think it 'very likely' they will catch it.

It would appear that we are a trusting bunch, as 80% of us trust the Ministry of Health (or whatever it is called this week) to tell us the truth about H1N1.  Latvians and Poles are a good deal more cynical, at 40% and 45% trust levels. 

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Yet another EU land grab. And this time it is cultural....

Tuesday, February 23, 2010
How about this for bold?:

"Jazz long ago stopped being the sole heritage of the United States, the country which gave birth to the genre, and is now a culture that travels freely across borders. Jazz is owned by nobody today, because it belongs to us all, and so it is hardly surprising that Europe is one of its most fertile and representative breeding grounds".

I am not particularly interested in a variation on the theme of 'can a blue man sing the whites' (sic), but that statement is pushing it somewhat.  

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How the EU works - an object lesson

Tuesday, February 16, 2010
I do not suppose that this 'little' announcement will get much media play, but it deserves it:

"The Council today adopted a directive (1) updating EU rules on the structure and rates of excise duties on cigarettes and other tobacco products. The directive is intended to ensure a higher level of public health protection by raising minimum excise duties on cigarettes, whilst bringing the minimum rates for fine-cut tobacco gradually into line with those for cigarettes.


(1) The decision was taken without discussion.

Isn't that nice?  How about that for proof positive of the democratic deficit in Brussels?


And there's more:

"Transitional period for cigarettes: the new rules allow for transitional arrangements until 1 January 2018 for member states that have not yet achieved, or only recently achieved, the current minimum rates, namely Bulgaria, Greece, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Hungary, Poland and Romania";


Quantitative restrictions for cigarettes: the directive allows member states not benefiting from the transition to impose a quantitative limit of at least 300 cigarettes on the number of cigarettes that may be brought into their territory from member states applying transitional arrangements. It also allows member states applying those arrangements, once their rates have reached 77 EUR per 1000 cigarettes, to apply quantitative limits with regard to member states whose rates have not yet reached an equal monetary level;

As ever, so much for free trade and allowing differential pricing to actually benefit the consumer.

And the EU has spotted that people smoke roll ups as they are cheaper:


Fine-cut tobacco: the Council decided to increase the minimum excise duty requirements for fine-cut tobacco as follows: member states will comply with either a proportional minimum or a monetary minimum, amounting to 40% of the weighted average sales price and 40 EUR per kg on 1 January 2011, 43% and 47 EUR/kg on 1 January 2013, 46% and 54 EUR/kg on 1 January 2015, 48% and 60 EUR/kg on 1 January 2018 and 50% and 60 EUR/kg on 1 January 2020.

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Conservatives in the EU start voting in roughly the right direction

Wednesday, February 10, 2010
This, from EUPravda:

"The European Parliament elected the new European Commission by 488 votes to 137, with 72 abstentions, in Strasbourg on Tuesday. The vote took the form of a single ballot on the whole College of Commissioners, consisting of one Commissioner from each of the 27 EU Member States.
The new Commission will stay in office until 31 October 2014.  By way of comparison, the first Barroso Commission was voted into office in November 2004 by 449 votes to 149, with 82 abstentions.

Ahead of the election, the EPP, S&D and ALDE groups announced that they would vote in favour of the college of Commissioners. The Greens, GUE/NGL and EFD groups said they would vote against the new college and the ECR group announced it would abstain". 

The ECR is the Tories plus our Czech and Polish chums and a few other folk from here and there.   Quite amusing seeing UKIP etc (EFD) voting with the extreme left, but I suppose one can't chose one's fellow voters. 

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Guess the logo

Tuesday, February 09, 2010
What do people think this is supposed to represent?:


Something to do with meteorite enthusiasm, maybe?  An insurance company?

Anyway, the commissioning entity thinks this:  "we now have a logo which everyone will be able to identify with. It's a nice elegant design..."

And "It is a very straightforward sign containing two clear messages: [..] and [..]".

Best suggestion wins a virtual pint, but an answer will be posted later.

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Translation fail o' the day

Monday, January 18, 2010
From EUPravda:



What has actually happened is that the painting, The Tears of Saint Peter, is one of a series that has returned from a sojourn in Mexico.

Since I can't see a parapet without wanting to stick my head above it, I will aver that El Greco is, by a broad margin, my least favourite of the Old Masters.  And now let the hurling of brickbats commence.

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Anyone feel up to mustering some synthetic outrage?

Sunday, December 27, 2009
If so, here's the EUTube 'Christmas' video.



Take it away....

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Now who's a eurosceptic.....

Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Or ask a silly question (c/o eurobarometer - p20):

'Could you tell me whether you totally agree, tend to agree, tend to disagree or totally disagree that there is corruption within the institutions of the EU?'

And the award for having eyes the widest open goes to our Swedish, Slovene and Greek chums, with some 85% in agreement.  We are joint sixth at 79%.  Even the euroenthusiast Poles and Romanians (and wouldn't you be keen if you were frolicking amidst the money sprinklers?) see 58% thinking there might be something rotten in, erm, the City of Brussels.    Shame on the quarter of all Bulgars who could not muster an opinion.  On the other hand, it is rather touching that 24% of Danes do not think there is corruption in EU institutions.

Anyway, the chart in question:


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Rock stars - is there anything they don't know?

Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Not content with trading off a time before most of this country's population, let alone that of the world, were born, a certain member of the light entertainment aristocracy has a new way to annoy the populace:


"The European Parliament will host a major event on global warming and food policy on Thursday 3 December when the chairman of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change Dr Rajendra K. Pachauri and environmental activist Sir Paul McCartney will urge legislators and experts to focus on what an individual can do to fight climate change, for example by eating less meat.  The "Global Warming and Food Policy: Less Meat = Less Heat" hearing takes place on Thursday 3 December in Parliament's plenary chamber in Brussels, from 10.00h to 12h30, and will be chaired by EP Vice-President Edward McMillan-Scott".

Mine's a bacon & black  pudding sandwich, thanks.

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The nation prefers a Belgian to Mr Tony

Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Politics Home has been good enough to poll the nation on the appointment of Van Rompuy, with the key finding being that 61% prefer the Belgian from Central Casting to Mr Tony.  (Snigger).  A derisory 23%  yearn for the Prince over the Water, so he is even less popular than the current government.

More here.

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Gratuitous plugs department

Friday, November 20, 2009
Since those fine people at the TPA were good enough to send me a copy of 'Ten Years On' (Cheers Mark), here's their cinema ad which will shortly be enraging europhiles everywhere.  Stout work, people.

   

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And today is...

Wednesday, November 18, 2009
...as I'm sure everybody has noticed, European Antibiotics Awareness Day.

Yes,really:



It is also Morrocan Independence Day, so that's two observances for the price of one. 

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Swedes trying to be hip and not quite pulling it off...

Tuesday, November 17, 2009
This, from the website of the Swedish EU Presidency, doubtless a site we all refer to multiple times daily:



In other words, he was born in 1970.  Take your pic of other 1970 births here

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Headscratcher o' the day from the EU

Monday, November 09, 2009
This is remarkably weird:




And although I am not given to bandying the 'R' word around, also a bit racist, I think.

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So long, Ariane

Tuesday, November 03, 2009
(Blogging is likely to be light today, so there may well be no Hansard trawls, either ancient or modern, today)

Those helpful people at Eurobarometer have polled eurocitizenry on 'Space activities of the European Union', and the findings are quite telling.

Asked about the 'Importance of space activities for the future international position of the EU', over a third judge them not important, have no idea or fess up to not knowing.  However, the really amusing bit is that the French, they who so love bragging about Ariane, are the most cynical overall, with a majority falling into the nay saying / not knowing category.  Cypriots enthuse wildly, however, with 82% opting for very / important.  Maybe they have episodes of Space 1999 aired nightly in Nicosia.

Asked whether 'Space activities contribute to industrial competiveness, growth and creation of jobs in the
European Union', the French are among the least impressed - 42% don't think so or don't know.  Having passd through Toulouse recently, a city awash with EADS etc propaganda and so forth, that makes a smirk hard to resist.  The Dutch and the Cypriots - not known for their Baikonurs / Kourous / Cape Canaverals are the most convinced. 

Elsewhere, a rather impressive 17% of my fellow Britons claim to have heard of European Earth Observation satellites.  The French near top the poll for being unimpressed with the Galileo satellite project.  I have crossed swords with the EU over its outrageous push polling over Galileo before, I can claim some familiarity.

The Bulgars would appear to have taken Star Trek to heart, in that 93% think space exploration important, with France and Italy both mustering 72% in agreement.  We're in the lower quartlile at 77%.  And it is another yaa boo to the European Space programme in France, with the lowest  level of agreement with 'Space exploration is important as a source of innovation and economic development'.  Nigh on a third of Gauls - by far the highest percentage - want the EU space budget cut, by the way. 

Looked at demographically, chaps prove the space cadets, with a fifth wanting a cut compared to a quarter of women.  Enthusiasm for spending decreases with age too.

And here's a rather attractive photo of an Ariane 5:



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Logo watch. Or it would be if the EU could get its act together

Friday, October 30, 2009
Straight from EuPravda:


In two months, Sweden will hand over the EU Presidency to Spain. Today, 29 October, Spain, together with the following Presidency holders, Belgium and Hungary, presented its Presidency logo.

Be still my pounding heart.



And I can't see the logo because three blokes in suits are in the way.

However, help would appear to be at hand:


"At a press briefing in Brussels on Thursday, the leaders of Spain, Belgium and Hungary presented their shared logo for the coming 18-month period in the Presidency seat in the Council of the EU....They presented a shared logo and a new standard for the Presidency website address, which better emphasises the trio cooperation. The three Presidency website addresses will be trio.es, trio.be and trio.hu. In a month’s time the trio will present their shared work programme for the coming year and a half".

Here's Trio.es:


Nice, huh?

And Trio.be:



Well, at least there are signs of something having been registered.

And Trio.hu:




Although not named, I reckoned that maybe there would a trio.eu site  And if you enter that address, something happens.  And what that thing that happens is is that one is redirected to trio.cz, which would appear to be either a workwear retailer or a SFW fetish site for people who like seeing pretty girls dressed up like construction workers.  Anyway, here it is:


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EU weirdness o' the day

Thursday, October 29, 2009
Words almost fail me:




Back to the EUTube description:

"Self-confident, "emancipated" chickens on a farm do not want to be rushed to lay their eggs. They know it takes time to produce a good quality, tasty egg".

That would seem to suggest the imputation of conscious thought and reasoning to chickens, and furthermore that they wish to have their eggs eatern.  Very rum indeed. 

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The EU - as viewed by Icelandic eurosceptics

Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Borrowed from the ever splendid Strange Maps:


Apparently it is  'the product of Fiton, an Icelandic ad agency. “Recently, [they] held an in-house poster competition (just for the fun of it, I gather). The challenge: To design a propagandistic poster either in favour of Iceland joining the EU or against.”'

I've had a sniff around their website, and even armed with my awesome command of Icelandic, have not found a direct link.  Pedants everywhere will enjoy the misplacing of Albania as part of the EU, and the omission of Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania.

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