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Legislating the unlegislatable

Thursday, September 03, 2009
This, from the Honolulu Advertiser:

"Leave it to Rod Tam. While others worry about how the city's rail project will look or how loud it will sound, the Honolulu City Council is concerned about how it will smell....Under the measure introduced by Tam and Nestor Garcia, stinky riders on city public transportation could be ordered to get off the bus or train and issued a citation by police. If convicted of violating the "passenger code of conduct," which includes the ban on stinking, a person could be fined up to $500 and/or spend up to six months in jail, which may or may not improve their personal grooming".

I have not been able to track down much more about the legislations author, but if anyone else feels up to digging around on the Honolulu council web page, good luck - it is a real retina burner.

Anyway, all of us will have been downwind of the foul -smelling in confined spaces, but doubtless the niffy have not been told that they are offensive to the olfactory senses of others. As to enforcement, would folk have to pass through sniff-o-meters at train stations - and would this be prior or post ticket purchase? This has the makings of a great revenue spinner, in that if one bought a ticket and then got bounced at the barrier, who would want to queue in the queue of shame for a refund?

Always supposing one was allowed to board a train, what then of individuals who opted to eat a few raw bulbs of garlic? Would there be roving teams of inspectors inhaling deeply at regular intervals.

And let's not even start on the appeals process.

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posted by Croydonian

Underestimating the intelligence of the public

Tuesday, August 25, 2009
From El Pais (not a permalink):

"The Basque regional government on Monday asked for a public boycott of bars, restaurants and other establishments that have put up posters and pictures paying tribute to ETA...The Basque regional government on Monday asked for a public boycott of bars, restaurants and other establishments that have put up posters and pictures paying tribute to ETA".

Applying that line of thought to these parts, I imagine that precious few Irish Republicans frequent bars with UVF regalia, and reprints of the Dublin Declaration probably do not line the walls of pubs favoured by Loyalists.

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posted by Croydonian

Petition o' the day

Friday, July 24, 2009
"to add [time to the]...National Curriculum that will seek to alleviate the rising body image problems in the UK’s 12-20 year olds" Source

And how much time? One hour per year. Yup, that's going to work, and pity any teacher who is a bit on the lardy side. I imagine that folk doing degrees in applied mathematics, philosophy, or come to that, whichever joke subject are being taught this week will appreciate the break in curriculum continuity. Likewise, those in employment might find taking the time off a bit of a struggle.

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posted by Croydonian

The UN talks parking tickets

Friday, March 13, 2009
Yes, it just has. (Insert metaphor involving a city aflame and the playing of a stringed instrument here)

"The Committee on Relations with the Host Country today considered, among other things, an alleged increase in the number of parking tickets issued to diplomatic vehicles and special airport screening procedures for some diplomats".

And some choice quotes:

"The representative of France said his country’s Mission had been receiving more tickets because the driver picking up the Permanent Representative at his Park Avenue residence often had to wait “a couple of minutes”, with the motor running, in a traffic lane next to parked cars. Since other Missions had also seen an increase in the number of tickets issued, the matter could be viewed as a form of harassment. A possible solution would be to establish diplomatic parking spaces close to the residence of Permanent Representatives".

And there's more:

"the representative of Cyprus said her Permanent Representative also lived on Park Avenue and the tickets were often issued by the same officer, who seemed to wait for the moment when the diplomatic car pulled up to the residence. The officer refused to talk to the driver or listen to any explanation, a form of treatment that was “inappropriate”.

Is your heart bleeding yet?

"Also raising complaints were the representatives of Bulgaria and Mongolia, who questioned the legality of mailing the tickets to their respective Permanent Missions, noting that the practice particularly hampered the functioning of small Missions".

And an unexpected outbreak of worldliness:

"The representative of the Russian Federation added that, according to local media, the problem did not concern diplomats alone, but the entire population of New York City."

Couldn't be the New York Post, could it?

And the pay off:

"In his response, the representative of the United States cautioned delegates against placing too much credibility in certain newspapers, and categorically rejected claims that officers were issuing more tickets in order to generate income for the city. The New York City Commissioner for the United Nations, Consular Corps and Protocol had assured the United States Mission that the matter would be examined carefully".

If their minds were not addled from overdoing it on the Ferrero Rochers, maybe the diplomats would have the sense to move elsewhere and / or hire taxis....

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posted by Croydonian

Two-thirds of Britons in favour of forced labour

Monday, February 23, 2009
Shocked? I am. But a poll for Prospect suggests just that:

"Prospect asked about public support for a new mandatory period of civic service for young people in response to the recession...a clear majority—64 per cent—backed the idea".

'A new mandatory period of civic service', or steering clear of euphemisms, forced labour. This is so unbelievably wrong that my usual lack of faith in the Great British Public has proven to be overstated even at whatever low level I had set it to this morning.

Furthermore, and quite disgustingly, Prospect thinks that this is just dandy - "one bright light was a willingness to consider radical measures to get Britain out of the slump...even in gloomy times, you can’t beat a bit of boldness".

I will resist the temptation to haul out the Cambodia Year Zero analogies, but what, pray is the essential moral difference between universal compulsory labour for a certain age cohort and serfdom? One might note that Prospect's fellow travellers on the other side of the Pond went to the barricades (or Canada...) in order to resist a similar initiative in the 60s and 70s.

Quite apart from my very strong moral qualms about this, imagine the colossal waste of talent if would be first division footballers, accountants, architects and so forth are yanked out of productive employment and compelled to dig old ladies' gardens for a year.

In further evidence that the public has taken leave of its senses, "37 per cent agree...that 'there will be serious social unrest in British cities' requiring the army to restore order". At the time of the 1981 riots I asked my father when he thought martial law would be enacted, and his response was 'never'. He was right then, and would be right now.

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posted by Croydonian

Good grief

Friday, February 13, 2009
This, from The Miami Herald:

"A lawyer for the widow of a Cooper City man who died from lung cancer said Friday that smoker Stuart Hess bears some responsibility for his addiction to cigarettes, but that cigarette maker Philip Morris USA is largely to blame".

For the record, Hess died at 55 in 1997, meaning that he had been seeing health warnings on his cigarette packs since he was 24, the Yanks having introduced health warnings in 1966.

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posted by Croydonian

Passing round the begging bowl, a new departure

Monday, February 09, 2009
What does one understand by the concept of a charity? Mine is that it involves raising money from donors for spending on mangy donkeys, mistreated children or whatever. If they cannot raise the money, or the cause ceases to be live, the charity folds, yes?

Not however, in the minds of Unite:

"The government’s £42 million bail-out for recession-hit charities is a step in the right direction, but won’t be enough in the long-term, Unite, the largest union in the country, said today...The finances of the UK’s voluntary sector are under mounting pressure from losses in the Icelandic banks’ debacle; a decline in donations from the general public as the recession bites; and cut backs from local authorities as they struggle to keep council tax increases under control. Also, many charities have few assets to draw on to plug the gaps in their budgets...‘We are calling for more of this ministerial energy to be diverted to the voluntary and community sector, whose caseloads are rising dramatically because of the present situation. Resources should also be committed to preventative services, such as community arts.’

On that basis, we would still have active charities dealing with children sent up chimneys, preserving the dodo and who knows what else.

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posted by Croydonian

Ten individuals, 25 degrees between them, and *how* much sense?

Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Doubtless we have all been having rage blackouts over the proposals made by 'the Consultative Group on the Past', and I do not think I can add much to the, under the circumstances, extremely measured thoughts of Mr Eugenides, so I will not.

However, I have done a little digging, and this Confederacy of Dunces, this Narrenschiff, this thicket of idiots, has between them at least 25 degrees.

I think I need to lie down in a darkened room for a bit.

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posted by Croydonian

Biting the hand that feeds - and then chewing

Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Suppose you have a very generous benefactor. Would irritating it beyond measure be a career move? I would think not, so I offer up this tale from Haaretz:

"The extreme right-wing Our Land of Israel party has offered the top spot on its Knesset list to convicted spy Jonathan Pollard, who is currently serving a life sentence in a United States Federal Prison for espionage".

Pollard's family do not supporty the move, and I would think it unlikely that any of the parties likely to win Knesset seats will go along with OLoI's idea.

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posted by Croydonian

TUC to world - unions should be above the law

Saturday, September 27, 2008
Yes, that's what they are saying, via the European Trade Union Confederation, of which it is part:

"The ETUC therefore calls on Europe to fight for workers' rights, for fair and decent wages, for stable jobs and for strong collective bargaining practice, independent of and not subordinated to law courts and judges".

That is just one part of a frankly extraordinary document to which it has put its mark, 'The London Declaration: a call for fairness and tough action'.

Its laundry list of demands in the face of current market turmoil (which is all down to the markets, not interference by government, natch) includes the following:

"injections of public money into financial institutions that carry with them public influence and control so causing a fundamental change in behaviour"

Or in other words back door pseudo-nationalisation of banks, pension funds, insurance companies and old Uncle Tom Cobbleigh and all.

"much tighter control of financial institutions' ability to leverage their operations, by strengthening the ratios of solid assets to liabilities"

Thus choking of the ability of said FI's to invest, create wealth etc etc. Sounds like a return to a seventies style socialist siege economy to me.

"an international, certainly European, level of effective regulation. This is necessitated by the scale of global financial capitalism which now transcends most individual nations. A European Ratings Agency is necessary"

And how do they intend to force the Swiss into this? If this is pan-EU, the gnomes of Zurich will be the biggest European beneficiaries, although our sensible EU shunning friends in more northerly climes might also be well placed to kickstart serious financial services industries.

"government action to ensure that funds are available for investment in the real economy, helping develop green jobs and technologies and sustainable development"

From the wonderful people who brought us Concorde, British Leyland, the Channel Tunnel and all sorts of other destroyers of capital. I'm sure that Brown and his homunculi would be just as good at picking winners as his fellow socialists in the past. I've always loved the phrase 'the real economy' impying as it does that banking and the like are not as dignified and horny-handed a way to make a living as digging coal. Not that that is very green, is it?

"help provided for workers affected, for householders threatened by eviction, for pensioners threatened with poverty in old age, for entrepreneurs seeking investment capital. (Yes, they did say that. Chutzpah doesn't come close) It is not fair that the main beneficiaries might be those who caused the mess".

So everybody wins, nobody loses. That is so going to happen.

a European-level response to the slowdown that is unfolding in the real economy to prevent the financial turmoil intensifying further as well as to avoid a return to the 'beggar-my-neighbour' approach of competitive wage moderation and reductions in social protection which harm workers and their families;

Thought they didn't believe in zero sum games. Anyway, who's afraid of hyper inflation?

"urgent return of public policy attention to the major issues of income and wage inequalities. It is inequality and poor wage income for ordinary workers that are driving households into ever more debt through risky financial market techniques".

And not people being responsible for their own actions?


Good job they are crying in the wilderness. I hope.

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posted by Croydonian

Common sense takes the day off

Thursday, September 25, 2008
Or, as I have remarked before, continues its round the world cruise in a first class cabin, pausing only to harass room service, rather than going back to work.

Anyway, way back lost in the mists of time I noted the following:

"In possibly the silliest proposal by any government in living memory, the Dutch Health Ministry is proposing to ban smoking in the nation's infamous cannabis 'coffee' shops"....One Dutch MP noted that this "would be the same as banning alcohol in pubs".

And yea, it has come to pass. Ish.

"On Monday the owner of a coffee-shop of Amsterdam was caught smoking a joint mixed with tobacco in his bar. This detail did not escape a patrolling police officer, who fined him - not for the spliff itself, still tolerated [under Dutch law], but because of the tobacco, outlawed since July 1. There would not have been a fine if the contravener had rolled a pure grass or hashish joint".

There's little point in re-hashing the pro / con arguments again, but would those who value their lungs etc rather breathe in ambient tobacco smoke, or ambient dope smoke?

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posted by Croydonian

One-time Communist trade unionist speaks on capitalism

Monday, September 22, 2008
This being Deek Simpson of Unite. And he doesn't like it much:

"If you can’t regulated (sic) the bonus culture then tax it out of existence"

Righty-ho. The Masters of the Universe who make most of their scratch from bonuses rather than a salary will really take that one lying down. Two things will happen - firstly there will be a re-jigging of emoluments, and then capital, talent and an awful of taxable funds will be outta here in next to no time.

Now I expect the politics of emerald green envy from Simpson, but it gets sillier:

"Unite called for jobs to be protected in the Northern Rock crisis, sadly they were not and around 2,000 staff paid the price. In return for suspending the competition rules Lloyds TSB should be required by our government to develop a new business plan that includes the retention of current levels of staff".

Northern Rock is not even worth discussing as the bale out was based on little more logic than protecting MPs in the North East and the client vote in those parts. As to Lloyds-TSB-HBOS or whatever it ends up calling itself (1) (Lloyds is quite snappy), 'business plan that includes the retention of current levels of staff' will see the deal called off or else for LTH to be crippled and thus a target itself.


(1) It is getting as bad as 1980's ad agencies. My favourite being the unfortunate telephonists who had to trill 'Good morning, WCRS Matthews Marcantonio Della Femina Bell'

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posted by Croydonian

Another great idea from 'Unite'

Friday, September 12, 2008
(That's the T&G / MSF/ AEEU, rather than a misrendering of the comparative good guys in the Angolan civil war).

"Unite calls for early warnings for employees as another airline goes bust".

And there's more: "Airlines that are struggling in the present climate are treating their workforce and the trade unions representing them with contempt...It is appalling that employees have been left to hear of their fate through the media. Given the difficulties that aviation workers are facing today to hide the plight of the business from its employees is a disgrace".

Righty-ho, and the smart ones will get straight on to their brokers and dump their holdings, or more likely tip off the press - net result is exactly the same.

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posted by Croydonian

Here come the food police - in full SWAT mode.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008
At least on the other side of the North Sea:

"The Netherlands Nutrition Centre wants the brakes put on the growth of snack bars and fast food restaurants. In neighbourhoods with an abundance of such outlets, it wants local authorities to prevent any more being opened. In areas around schools, its demands are even stricter: it wants a complete ban on any business selling fast food".

How long before our very own soi-disante 'liberals' float that idea in these parts, or have they already done so?

I don't suppose there is much point bewailing the death of personal responsibility and that the freedom not to deal with the consequences of one's actions is only for children and gods.

(Blogging, in the time honoured phrase, will be light for a few days as the Futures of Croydonian-kind are visiting)

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posted by Croydonian

Ill thought out press release headline o' the day

Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Take a bow, Dept of Health:

Johnson calls for national movement to tackle obesity

Well yes. I suppose any movement apart from placing pudgy fingers into a bag of crisps etc will involve burning some calories.

Facetiousness aside, watch out for the Fat Police at home, at work, at play etc etc:

"Tackling obesity requires a much broader partnership, not only with families, but with employers, retailers, the leisure industry, the media, local government and the voluntary sector".

And the Fat Police number, gulp, 220,000: "I have also written to 220,000 local activists who are already doing excellent work in their communities to promote good health to ask them to shape this movement". That's one for roughly every 200 adults, so I suppose Big Nanny will be forcing entry to one's residence twice yearly to confiscate everything bar lentils and brown rice.

"This national movement for change will enable every citizen in the country at every stage of their lives to get the encouragement and support they need to be healthy - from what they see on the television, to what they buy in the local supermarket, to the resources at their disposal in the local community, to how they travel to and from work or school, to the information and advice they get from health professionals. "We are calling on everyone - from the smallest community keep fit class to the biggest retailers in the land - to join in this campaign to change the way we live our lives."

Instead of all this kraft durch freude, what's wrong with a little bit of personal responsibility, self-denial etc etc?. So, Alan, if I might venture so bold, get stuffed.

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posted by Croydonian

Working for the King of Prussia

Tuesday, July 15, 2008
The above is a rendering of the French saying, "Travailler pour le roi de Prusse" which although sometimes seen in English is not wholly naturalised. Anyway, the meaning is to 'work for nothing, not be paid for one's efforts and participation'. It derives from a war in which France sided with Berlin but was not 'compensated' on the Rhine or wherever. Opinions differ as to which particular war gave rise to the expression.

So much for the exegesis, consider this:

"London's Child Poverty Ministers Stephen Timms, Beverley Hughes and Jane Kennedy are calling today for organisations across the Capital to recognise their role in tackling child poverty and to pledge to do more....The 'London Pledge', launched today, asks services that work with children and families, such as jobcentres, schools, childrens centres and other local groups to sign up to a set of specific actions to help London's families raise their incomes and lift themselves and their children out of poverty".

Now we are all well aware that this is relative poverty, and short of the Procrustean 'solution', it will never go away. That is scarcely worth considering at present, but always supposing Timms, Hughes, Kennedy and Uncle Tom Cobbleigh achieve their aim, just who do you suppose will claim the credit,eh?

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posted by Croydonian

'Dirty tricks', French style

Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Obsessive collectors of political trivia (guilty...) will recall the farce that was the Spycatcher farce of some years back. That does not concern us except obliquely, in that Wright claimed "For five years we bugged and burgled our way across London at the State's behest, while pompous bowler-hatted civil servants in Whitehall pretended to look the other way".

My old 'friend' Ségolène Royal seems to think that the Direction Centrale du Renseignement Intérieur or somesuch is playing a similar game:

"I note that last week, at the time that I said that it was necessary to put an end to the grip on France of the Sarkozy clan, my residence was ransacked...I make a connection between the two events...It is a funny coincidence and this is the second time, the first time being during the Presidential campaign".

She is quite given to erm, 'odd', pronouncements, as I have noted before:

""Unfortunately I also believe that there was - and perhaps it was sub-conscious - sexism in all of these attacks, and to see it so strongly - and even I am surprised by it - I think it is connected with racism". (Well she is an army brat, born in Dakar...)


Sarko's spokesbod says the accusation is 'absurd' and Fabius (who presumably thinks he is up for one more lunge at the brass ring) 'does not have the information necessary to make a judgement'.


Looks like our Gallic chums are lucky not to have got themselves such an individual as President...


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posted by Croydonian

Soft soaping envy into a cardinal virtue

Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Showing all the comic timing of the Bay of Pigs Invasion, the TUC has decided that a day on which it has been revealed that the number of 40% rate tax payers has doubled in 10 years is just the day to squawk about 'tax justice'.

In the same way that these days envy is called 'a burning desire for social justice', fiscal class war is called 'tax justice'. Despite claiming to offer the full figures from a survey on attitudes to tax, the TUC does not, so I will have to tease out what I can from its press release. And there are some truly fabulous leaps in logic:

"The polling...shows that only seven per cent of people think that 'Britain's tax system gets the balance right between the amount of tax paid by the rich, the poor and those in the middle'. Even among those with household incomes of more than £100,000 only 13 per cent think the balance is right". And in TUC-think, that means that 87% think they are paying too much. Yeah, right.

And there's more:

"Three quarters of those polled (75 per cent) agree that 'it is too easy for very rich people to get out of paying a fair level of tax' (including 43 per cent who strongly agree)."

This conflates knowledge that tax can be avoided with a moral stance on it.

"The public also thinks it is too easy for big companies to get out of paying tax and thinks that the Government is wrong to reduce tax on large companies".

The public suffers from a less than full understanding of commerce, and does not seem to have twigged that taxing companies is not some manner of fiscal free lunch and would lead to increased prices, lower wages and all sorts of other things they would not like at all.

And what does the TUC want to happen?

This: "Creating a fairer tax system does not mean a higher tax bill for ordinary workers. Instead, clamping down on tax avoidance and closing the loopholes enjoyed by the super-rich will put extra revenue into ordinary peoples' pockets or pay for our hard-pressed public services".

There is only response to the suggestion that the TUC would support tax cuts for Joe & Josie Average - come off it. One might add that Barber seems to think that the hedge fund managers, footballers and others that he wants to fleece will just stay in the UK. Maybe someone needs to send him the Ladybird Book of Laffer Curves or somesuch.

Anyway, the TUC has rounded up the usual suspects to 'debate' this subject, ranging from Polly 'my house is so big that if broken into flats I could solve the London housing crisis' Toynbee to the tin-rattling wings of the Left - Oxfam, War on Want etc etc - and sundry wonk groups - Compass, ippr etc. If all the people in attendance could be persuaded to leave the UK, permanently, this place would be improved immeasurably.

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posted by Croydonian

Consequences? Who cares?

Sunday, June 22, 2008
For your entertainment, here is a commercial for the Lancia Delta. Unlikely to air in these parts as Lancia abandoned the UK market some years ago as they could not overcome a reputation for producing rust buckets



Those eggheads at Lancia parent Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino need to brush up on their knowledge 0f world affairs and Cult Studs, methinks:

"Fiat CEO Sergio Marchionne said he ''didn't know'' if the commercial had political overtones, but that he ''certainly liked it''. Source

My position on Tibet is a matter of record, so am happy enough for Lancia to align itself with Tibet, but a car manufacturer that builds in the 'People's Republic' of China really should have given the issue more than a nano-second's thought.

Too late now, as "Fiat on Friday apologised to China for a television commercial starring United States actor Richard Gere that it acknowledged ''could disturb the sensibility of the Chinese people''. Sensitive flowers, aren't they?

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posted by Croydonian

Failing marketing 101...

Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Shamlessly borrowed from West Ham fan site, Knees Up Mother Brown, a screengrab of how Stevenage Borough FC are plugging their new kit:

Go on, click through. I am not making this up.

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posted by Croydonian