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Bizarre criminal act o' the day

Friday, November 13, 2009
From, for a change, Germany.  Lifted from Der Spiegel.

"Until two weeks ago no one had heard of the Bewegung Morgenlicht. But now, they have thrust themselves onto the police's radar with a number of attacks on banks in Frankfurt.

Two Saturdays ago, militants threw a petrol-soaked cloth into a Dresdner Bank foyer, setting fire to a cash machine. Just 24 hours later, a machine belonging to Deutsche Bank was torched in another part of the city. Total damages amounted to €110,000 ($165,000)..the group explained the second attack on Deutsche Bank as an attempt to spur on "a thorough reform of the economy."

With the possible exception of taking the main brodcasters off air, I am struggling to think of anything more likely to terrify the populace in these parts than trashing cash dispensers.

In a further curious development, the German authorities seem to think that they can break down types of criminality by political allegiance:

"The arson attacks in Frankfurt follow a recent rise in left-wing crime in Berlin. A total of 190 cars have now been torched on the streets of the German capital this year alone. According to a government report into leftist violence, released on Wednesday, leftwing groups were, on average, charged with around twice as many criminal acts than their right-wing counterparts over the past six years".

I think this political taxonomy of criminals is an excellent idea, and I look forward to seeing it used in these parts.

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Jarring first paragraph of the day

Wednesday, September 16, 2009
This, from the Met's site:


"The Honourable Jonathan Davies has this morning (15 September) pleaded guilty to £232K of theft from a charity set up by his philanthropist grandfather, Lord David Davies, in 1926". 

Not very honourable at all, frankly.

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The vintage Hansard trawl - featuring beer, postal worker decorations and misbehaving scousers

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Sticking with 1909, because it was a vintage year.

The Egyptian Penal Code

What did Arnold Lupton have in mind?:

Mr. A. LUPTON (Lib) asked the Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs if murder, attempted murder, theft, attempted theft, destruction of crops, poisoning animals, and arson are contrary to the Egyptian penal code (etc)

And the answer he got back did not include either 'yes' or 'no'

The SECRETARY of STATE for FOREIGN AFFAIRS (Sir E. Grey) The whole text of the Ordinance has been laid before Parliament. It was discussed and passed by the Legislative Council, and I can give no fuller explanation of its provisions than appears in the Papers now laid. There is no provision in it which entails a sentence of imprisonment.

Pretty alarming, frankly.

British beer (average gravity).

Mr. George Younger (CON. Yes, of the brewing family. I checked on my suspicions. Also great grandfather of the sadly missed namesake) asked the Secretary to the Treasury whether he can state the numbers and average gravity of the bulk barrels of the beer brewed in the United Kingdom in the year ending 31st March last?

Mr. HOBHOUSE The number and average gravity of the bulk barrels of beer brewed in the United Kingdom in the year ended 31st March, 1909, was:—

Bulk Barrels. Average Gravity.
34,376,352 1053,26.

That would be nigh on a barrel per head of population. Makes you proud, doesn't it?

The Ceylon Police Service.

Mr. KEIR HARDIE asked whether, under the terms of the circular issued by the Colonial Office in April this year anent the establishment of probationerships from which vacancies in the Ceylon police service are to be filled, only British subjects of European descent may enter for the competitive examinations; and what are the reasons for thus barring out Singhalese gentlemen who possess the necessary qualifications from competing for these positions?

Fair question, pretty so-so response:

Colonel SEELY The answer to the first part of my hon. Friend's question is in the affirmative. It is essential that there should be an European element in the force, and this is supplied from the examination at home. The local element, which is also necessary, is supplied by local appointments.

Further to-ing and fro-ing followed, with the issue killed stone dead by this:

Sir H. COTTON Can he say whether a Singhalese gentleman in this country is eligible for competition?

Colonel SEELY I am not quite sure. On that point also I require notice.

Stripes for posties:

Mr. J. P. FARRELL asked the Postmaster-General whether, in the case of Michael Maguire, a postman of Longford, who some years ago lost three stripes, and 564 whose record since has been very good, he can see his way to restore this man to his former status in the service?

Mr. BUXTON If Mr. Maguire's record continues to be good, one of the forfeited stripes will be restored to him during the present month, and he will eventually become eligible for the full number of six stripes. There will be, however, a permanent loss of four years.


I think readers will be inclined to agree with my belief that stripes for postmen and women need to make a comeback sharpish.

What had they been getting up to in Liverpool?

Mr. SLOAN asked the Home Secretary if he has received from the Watch Committee of Liverpool a recommendation to hold an inquiry into the recent disturbance in that city; if so, does he propose to grant an inquiry, and on what date; will the inquiry be held on oath; and will the Press be admitted?

Mr. GLADSTONE No, Sir; I have not at present received any such recommendation.

And presumably Gladstone would not entertain further questions from Mr Sloan.

And finally, Motor Accident at Salisbury Plain (Speed Dangers).

Mr. JOWETT asked the President of the Local Government Board whether his attention has been called to the evidence given at the inquest on the body of Gunner Snow on 14th August last, who was killed by a motor car on Salisbury Plain, the driver of which acknowledged that when the accident took place he was driving his car at the rate of 10 to 15 miles an hour into a dense mist...and whether he is considering what steps may be taken to prevent persons who, as owners and drivers of motor cars, are guilty of endangering the lives of others from using the public roads in future for the purposes which they have abused?

Mr. BURNS I have seen a report of the inquest in this case, and I understand that the question whether proceedings should be instituted against the driver of the motor car is under consideration. With regard to the subject generally, I may point out that if a person drives a motor car on a public highway recklessly or negligently or at a speed or in a manner which is dangerous to the public he is liable to penalties, and in the case of a second offence to imprisonment. Moreover, his licence to drive may be suspended, and he may be declared disqualified for obtaining a further licence for such time as the court thinks fit.





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The vintage Hansard trawl - featuring telegrapher's arm, suicide stats and quackery

Thursday, August 27, 2009
Having taken the day off yesterday, a double dose of vintage Hansard-related goodness.

Telegrapher's arm

Mr. J. P. FARRELL asked the Postmaster-General whether, in the case of a lady telegraphist who has contracted muscular disease of the arm in consequence of her occupation, he will consider the advisability of arranging for her transfer to some other department requiring less manual effort instead of being removed from the service?

Mr. BUXTON If, when such a case arises, the officer in question desires to make any representation to me on the subject, I will, of course, gladly consider it.

Mr. FARRELL If I forward the right hon. Gentleman particulars of the case; will it receive his attention?

Mr. BUXTON I shall be very glad to look into it.

What about that for dedication to one's constituents, even the ones denied a vote?

And the ever popular topic of warships, again:

Mr. MITCHELL-THOMSON (for Mr. Middlemore) asked the First Lord of the Admiralty whether the cruiser which is to be built as an answer to the foreign super-"Invincibles" is to be of a design which will merely enable it to outrun capture by the foreign vessels, or whether it will be itself equipped with such speed and armament as will enable it both to outrun and to capture the enemy's vessels?

The SECRETARY to the ADMIRALTY (Dr. Macnamara) It is premature, as yet, to give details of the design of this vessel.

One would have thought that blasting them to kingdom come was the aim of the game.


The vexed issue of the Rhondda and Swansea and Great Western Railway Companies:

Mr. WARDLE (Lab) asked the President of the Board of Trade whether he has communicated with the Rhondda and Swansea Bay and Great Western Railway Companies, asking if they would supply a copy of the working agreement into which they had entered; and, if so, will he say what has been the result of such application?

The PRESIDENT of the BOARD of TRADE (Mr. Churchill) I have not asked the railway companies for a copy of the agreement, which they are under no obligation to supply, but I called their attention to the hon. Member's previous questions on this subject, and was informed by them that they saw no reason for the publication of the agreement.

Mr. WARDLE Will the right hon. Gentleman seek for legislative powers to compel them to publish these things?

Mr. CHURCHILL I am not in a position to make any statement upon that point.

Socialists, eh? Always seeking an increase in the power of the state. A bit of sniffing around suggests that the R&SB, a loss making line serving coal country, was taken over by the GWR but maintained some autonomy for a while after. Disappointed that Churchill did not tell Wardle to shove it, frankly.

Wardle would appear to have had a lively and enquiring mind, as he came up with this too:

Mr. WARDLE asked the Secretary of State for the Home Department whether any statistics exist of the number of deaths from suicide; whether he can give the figures for each of the last five years; whether the statistics are classified according to the manner of death; and, if so, can he give particulars?

The average for the period was 3,447. The figure for 2007 was 5,377, so on the basis of an approximate UK population of 41 m in 1909, the rate is largely unchanged.

Youthful criminality:

Mr. FENWICK (for Mr. Bottomley) asked the Home Secretary whether his attention has been called to the sentence of five years' detention in a reformatory recently passed by Mr. Rose, the stipendiary at the Tower Bridge police court, upon a girl 14 years of age for stealing the sum of £3 10s. from a coffee-shop in which she was employed; whether there had been any previous conviction against the girl; and, if not, whether he proposes to advise a mitigation of the sentence?

Mr. GLADSTONE I have made inquiry into this case, and am not prepared to interfere with the order of the court. There had been no previous conviction against the girl, but it is clear, in view of her character and history, that it is in her interest that she should remain in the reformatory school, where she will receive the careful training which is called for in her case.

My suspicions that £3 10s did not constitute an entirely trumpery sum were confirmed by playing around with a calculator here, which gives a figure of £271.84 based on RPI, and £1,428.19 based on average earnings. I reckon she got her just deserts, frankly.

Socialists, always messing with property rights:

Mr. BARNES (for Mr. Ramsay Macdonald) asked whether the Scottish Office has had any communication from the Peebles Town Council regarding the closing of paths in the grounds of Neidpath Castle by Lord Wemyss; whether the Scottish Office has any powers to protect the public in the enjoyment of these paths; and, if so, whether it proposes to put them into operation?

The SOLICITOR-GENERAL for SCOTLAND (Mr. A. Dewar) No communication from the Peebles Town Council dealing with this matter has been received at the Scottish Office, nor has the Secretary for Scotland any power to interpose in the direction suggested by the hon. Member.

Mr. H. A. WATT Can the hon. Gentleman say whether this action was prompted by the fact that the Commissioners of Woods and Forests have permitted fishing in the Tweed?
Mr. DEWAR I have no information on the point.


The castle is not uneasy on the eye.


Full marks to Asquith for honesty and for not taking up an opportunity for point scoring
:

Captain CLIVE asked the Prime Minister whether, seeing that the Government Bill relating to hops is now practically uncontroversial, and is of importance to the hop-growing districts, he will proceed with it so that it may have an opportunity of becoming law this Session?

The PRIME MINISTER (Mr. Asquith) I am afraid that the Bill in question cannot be regarded as of a non-controversial character, and I cannot hold out any hope of its being proceeded with this Session.

Mr. JOHN GRETTON Can the right hon. Gentleman indicate in what quarter of the House the opposition to the Bill arises?

The PRIME MINISTER No, Sir.
The bill looked to revolve around 'the abolition of hop-substitutes and the marking of foreign hops'. Fascinating.

And now for a big finish:

Captain CRAIG asked the Home Secretary whether his attention has been called to the increase in recent years of the sale of quack medicines; whether he is aware that it has been proved that such nostrums frequently contain nothing but harmless drugs, coloured grease, coloured water, small quantities of aloes, pilules of sugar, etc., though advertised to cure a multitude of different maladies; whether he is aware that the chief cost of such quack medicines is in the advertising; and whether he will appoint a small Commission to inquire into and report upon the whole subject?

Mr Glastone I beg to refer the hon. Member to the answer on this subject which I gave to the hon. Member for North Lambeth on 12th March last. I understand that inquiries are being made, at the instance of the Lord President of the Council, as to whether the practice of medicine by unqualified persons is extending, and as to the effects produced by such practice. These inquiries will, no doubt, throw some light on the question of the use of quack medicines, and I think it will be advisable to await their result.

Meanwhile, reiki practitioners, homeopaths etc etc continue to go unprosecuted.....





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Politics Home's Lockerbie poll

Monday, August 24, 2009
Those nice people at Politics Home have polled the nation on the Megrahi decision, and here are the headline figures, by party, as to approval or disapproval of his early release:


It is rather encouraging that supoprt or otherwise conforms, roughly to the pattern one would expect, with Tories the least pleased, and LDs the nearest to being gruntled.

Unfortunately there is no published detail on what Scottish, as opposed to UK, voters think about the decision and the impact on Salmond's merry band north of the border.

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Yet another obligatory Lockerbie post

Friday, August 21, 2009
Briefly, either al-Megrahi is guilty, in which case he should have been left to rot, or his appeal should have been expedited a long time ago.

There is plenty of information knocking around that suggests that there may have been a miscarriage of justice, and as this still does not seem to be especially common knowledge in these parts, here's something I found in Le Figaro a while back:

I cannot see any reference in the English language media to this bombshell in Le Figaro, so here is a minor filetting of the article:

Swiss engineer Ulrich Lumpert has admitted lying in his testimony made to the court in the trial of Abdelbasset al-Megrahi, currently in the Glasgow big house for involvement in the bomb that detonated on PanAm 103 over Lockerbie in 1988. He has added a claim that he stole a timer from his employer, Swiss company Mebo and to have then given it a Scottish police officer involved in the investigation. Translating directly from Le Figaro, "This assertion accredits a thesis maintained by many people - journalists, lawyers and even parents of victims: there had been a "manipulation" in the investigation to incriminate Libya, whereas the first suspicions pointed out to a pro-Syrian Palestinian faction".

Mebo had sold timers to Libya in the past, but has always maintained that the timer in question had not been sold by it to the Libyans.

I recall there being much shaking of heads over the suspicion of Syrian involvement being ruled out at the time - when they were seen as being on our side during Gulf War I - and without claiming to have studied the whole affair to any great depth felt that something was not entirely right in the apparently over-neat fingering of Libya to the exclusion of Damascus and its various cat's paws.

Meanwhile, al-Megrahi was granted leave to appeal in June, although that was prior to this business with the timer....


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The Hansard Trawl, featuring slap down o' the day and life meaning nine years.

Monday, July 06, 2009
Not a whole was going on last Friday, judging from what I have found thus far:

Somebody not really getting the hang of the web, perhaps?

Mr. Stewart Jackson: To ask the Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government...in what format the intranet staff handbook is held.

Mr. Malik: The terms and conditions of employment that form our staff handbook are stored on the Department's intranet site as individual web pages.

Collapse of stout party...

Something rather more serious, and of rather more significance:

Mr. Grieve: To ask the Secretary of State for Justice what average period of imprisonment had been served by prisoners sentenced to life imprisonment who were released in (a) 2007 and (b) 2008.

Mr. Straw: The numbers of life sentenced prisoners released in 2007 along with average period spent in custody for those on first release is shown in the following table.

And of lifers released in 2007, mandatory lifers had served an average of 16 years and other lifers nine years.

News to me:
Mr. Frank Field: To ask the Prime Minister whether members of the public are able to email the Prime Minister.

The Prime Minister: Yes.

This has been an issue in the past, and despite what the PM says, I cannot lay hands on his e-mail address as such. There is no gbrown@gov.uk, although there is a rather rubbishy contact form, as critiqued by Dizzy a while back.



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The Hansard Trawl, featuring where not to get stabbed, plant life at the Exchequer and Denis MacShane saying something sensible

Wednesday, July 01, 2009
From Hansard.

Paul Holmes: To ask the Secretary of State for the Home Department how many reported incidents of (a) attempted murder, (b) wounding with intent to do grievous bodily harm and (c) wounding or inflicting grievous bodily harm without intent by use of a knife or sharp instrument there have been in each police force area in each year since 1997:

(Blah)

And the places with double figures for attempted murder are London (59), Gtr Manchester (20), the West Midlands (14), West Yorkshire (10) and Kent (10). Dorset, Lincs and South Wales all saw no attempted murders by knife. One was least likely to suffer knife-related GBH in Surrey, Norfolk, Cumbria, Gloucestershire, North Yorkshire and the City at 25 instances or fewer.

Elsewhere
, the grim business of child abuse prosecutions in 2007 shows that London was the worst (452), while Northamptonshire would look to the best place, relatively, to be a small person with 11 prosecutions.

'Our friends the Saudis'
:

Peter Luff: To ask the Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs what his most recent assessment is of UK-Saudi Arabia relations; and if he will make a statement.

Mr. Ivan Lewis: Relations between the UK and Saudi Arabia are strong. Saudi Arabia is a key regional ally. Our long history of friendship, understanding and cooperation covers regional and international issues, counter terrorism, education, energy security, trade and investment. It is a broad-based and important relationship, which the Government are committed to maintaining and developing.

Characterised by kow-towing on our part and excusing it any and every excess. I'll just quote Menachem Begin here - 'Saudi Arabia isn't a country, it's a family'. Or words to that effect.

And back to the trivial:

Grant Shapps: To ask the Chancellor of the Exchequer how much his Department spent on pot plants in (a) 2007-08 and (b) 2008-09.

Sarah McCarthy-Fry: The Treasury spent £12,812 in 2007-08 and £12,564 in 2008-09 on the provision, supply and maintenance of potted plants displayed in the common areas of 1 Horse Guards Road, including the external courtyards, the reception of the building and some office spaces.

I imagine the upas tree, as 'celebrated' in literature, must be the main plant in those parts.


Meanwhile, the fluoridation fanatics seem to have given up the ghost:

Mr. Crausby: To ask the Secretary of State for Health how many letters his Department received requesting fluoridation of the public water supply in each year since 2000. [282243]

Ann Keen: Section 58 of the Water Act 2003 made strategic health authorities responsible for responding to requests to fluoridate a water supply. We have no record of any letters requesting the Department to fluoridate a water supply since 2000.

And if that 'since 2000' don't fetch 'em, I don't know Arkansaw....

More bizarre subbing:

NHS: Stress

And what does this refer to?:

Chris Ruane: To ask the Secretary of State for Health whether provision is made within the NHS for staff training in meditation techniques.

Gillian Merron: This information is not held centrally as any decision to provide staff training in meditation techniques, would be taken locally.

Erm...

The underappreciated PR peons at DFID:

Andrew Rosindell: To ask the Secretary of State for International Development how many press releases his Department has issued in the last 12 years.

Mr. Michael Foster: According to departmental records, the Department for International Development (DFID) has issued 633 press releases since January 2004.

DFID's press release archive does not go further back than this.

And there they were thinking that they were making at least a small dent in eternity.

Strange things are afoot at Turtle Bay:

Mr. Moore: To ask the Secretary of State for International Development pursuant to the answer of 15 June 2009, Official Report, column 1W, on United Nations: females, what proposals his Department has put forward for the (a) remit and (b) leadership of a United Nations Agency for Women; and if he will make a statement.

Mr. Thomas: The UK Government are arguing for the creation of a single powerful agency for women, merging existing bodies, with a strong visible leader.

OK...

The EU has been a missing a trick, but not for much longer:

Philip Davies: To ask the Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families what information about the EU his Department provides to primary schools for teaching purposes.

Ms Diana R. Johnson: The Department does not provide information about the European Union to schools. The proposed new primary curriculum, which is being consulted on, will provide opportunities for children to learn about Europe and the European Union. For example pupils should be taught about links between local, British, European and world history.

Can't the poor wretches be left to their finger painting and so forth?

And in debates, Denis MacShane says something righteous:

Mr. Denis MacShane (Rotherham) (Lab): As the Foreign Secretary correctly says, it is a matter for the people of Iran to choose their own Government, but it is also a matter for the rest of the world that President Ahmadinejad exports anti-Semitism, exports fundamentalist terrorism, that he may, if he gets nuclear weapons, export some of those, and that he also exports regional instability. We must be much firmer and actually call this gentleman for what he is.

Doubtless he will be back to his bad old ways presently.

And in the Lords, I have been robbed of the opportunity for some harmless amusement:

Lord Laird To ask Her Majesty's Government what countries they monitor for potential human rights abuses.

The Minister of State, Foreign and Commonwealth Office (Baroness Kinnock of Holyhead): I refer to the Answer given to the noble Lord on 15 June 2009 (Official Report, col. WA 182-83), which explains the Government's approach to reporting on international human rights and foreign policy. As such, the Government do not set or maintain a list of countries where it monitors human rights abuses, potential or actual.

Shame that.


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The Hansard Trawl, featuring 'miscellaneous plots', villainous OAPs and some rather good slap downs

Thursday, June 25, 2009
Why am I never asked these things?:

"Dr. Julian Lewis: To ask the Secretary of State for Defence what his Department’s most recent opinion poll data are on public opinion on the retention of the United Kingdom’s nuclear deterrent

Mr. Bob Ainsworth [holding answer 22 June 2009]: Questions on the retention of the UK’s nuclear deterrent were included in the public poll on perceptions of the Ministry of Defence and UK armed forces conducted in December 2003.

The following figures were collated for the public opinion poll on whether the UK should keep its nuclear weapons: 8 per cent. strongly agreed, 35 per cent. tended to agree, 25 per cent. tended to disagree,9 per cent. strongly disagreed"

So some 23% just cannot muster the effort to come up with an opinion. Tis a minor tragedy that there is not the fun of a French-style full demographic breakdown.

Sometimes I think that a great deal of Parliamentary time could be saved by honourable members acquainting themselves with basic reference works or letting loose the google monster:

Mr. Laurence Robertson: To ask the Minister of State, Department for Transport which parliamentary constituencies have airports wholly or partly within their boundaries.


See what I mean
? Mr Robertson represents Tewkesbury, an airportless constituency. Perhaps he needed his memory jogging ahead of a letter to his electorate.

I am indebted to Dominic Grieve for asking a question of Jack Straw that facilitated part of of my headline.

"Mr. Grieve: To ask the Secretary of State for Justice (1) how much surplus land (a) his Department and (b) its agencies had in each year since the Department was established"

The 'miscellaneous plots' are parcels of land, rather than the usual attempted backstabbings.

The place for septuagenarian, octogenarian and for all I know, nonagenarian and centenerian lags are Whatton, Littlehey, Wymott, Wandsworth, Hull and Albany nicks, all housing at least 20 prisoners of that description. I lack the motivation to calculate percentages and so forth, but instead will restrict myself to wondering whether Sunday evening is TV prime time at these places and there are frequent complaints about shivvings elsewhere interrupting afternoon snoozes.

Further detail shows that over 70% of these aged lags are not cuddly grandfather types, but are doing stir for sex offences. Perhaps we should be impressed that 22 out of the 525 are inside for drug offences and four for robbery.

Oh dear:

Mr. Wallace: To ask the Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs if he will request the supermarkets to assist in dealing with the consequences of the failure of dairy farmers of Great Britain.

Jim Fitzpatrick [holding answer 23 June 2009]: This is a commercial issue, and we have not specifically asked supermarkets to assist with the consequences of the closure of dairy farmers of Britain.

This would appear to be Ben Wallace, Tory MP for Lancaster. Perhaps he has not read Adam Smith etc lately.

The DCMS is failing to implement best practice on IT security:

Mr. Blunt: To ask the Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport how many breaches of information security there have been at (a) his Department and (b) its agencies in the last five years. [281071]

Mr. Sutcliffe: My Department has had nine security incidents over the past five years. Royal Parks, our one agency, has had nine security incidents in the same period.

Maybe hackers were trying to get root that they might get then print off annual passes for sundry attractions.

A bit of a slap down here:

Mr. Sanders: To ask the Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs if he will assess the merits of holding national elections to determine the UK’s European Commissioner. [281429]

Mr. Ivan Lewis: European Commissioners are required to be: “independent in the performance of their duties” not taking: “instructions from any Government or other institution, body, office or entity”. Any Commissioner put forward can have no given mandate from the UK.

I'm sure we can all think of lots of extraordinarily independent Commissars from these parts in recent times... Anyway, hands up anyone who can name our current Commissar. If the individual concerned had a chin job on expenses, the gaiety of the EU would be vastly increased.

And another slap down:

Mr. Crausby: To ask the Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs how much his Department spent on clothing for official visits overseas by members of the Royal Family in 2008-09.

Chris Bryant: The Foreign and Commonwealth Office does not pay clothing costs for members of the Royal Family on official overseas travel.

My republican tendencies are well known to regualars, but even I would think it grotesque for Her Maj et al to be sent off to Wagga Wagga, Moosejaw or wherever clad in outfits selected by Milliband's lot.



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Yet another reason to do away with the banjo

Monday, June 22, 2009
From the NZ Herald:


"A tourist who bashed a 69 year-old gay man with a banjo then repeatedly rammed it down his throat has gone on trial for murder at the High Court at Auckland".

Just for the record, a quick banjo joke: What's the best thing you can play on a banjo? A flamethrower.

All facetiousness aside, I highly recommend 'Recapturing the Banjo', a splendid CD by Otis Taylor et al.

Video extract here:


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Looking for diamonds in the Hansard mine

Friday, June 19, 2009
Pretty thin pickings to today.

However, here's an MP working hard for his constituents:

Mr. Steen: To ask the Secretary of State for Work and Pensions for what reasons Mr. John Coombe of Brixham did not receive a £10 Christmas bonus payment and subsequent additional £60 bonus payment under the Real Help for Pensioners Christmas bonus payment scheme; and if she will make a statement.

Angela Eagle [holding answer 8 June 2009]: The acting chief executive of the Pensions, Disability and Carers Service has responded to the hon. Member separately on 3 June 2009 with the information requested relating to his constituent Mr. John Coombe of Brixham.

Shame Steen won't be able to to roll up to the door of John Coombe of Brixton and say 'Look what I've done, do the decent thing and vote for me'. Because he's standing down...

Today's collapsing stout party, so to speak, is Greg Hands:

Mr. Hands: To ask the Prime Minister whether he plans to reply to the e-petition which closed on 9 April 2009, relating to the BBC World Service, on the Downing Street website.

The Prime Minister: I refer the hon. Member to the reply issued on the No. 10 website: http://www.number10.gov.uk/Page19451 A copy of this webpage has been placed in the Library of the House.


Brown's odd use of language:


Mr. Dai Davies: To ask the Prime Minister whom he consulted on his proposals for constitutional reform announced on 10 June 2009; what public consultation he plans to hold on the proposals; and if he will make a statement.

The Prime Minister: Public consultation will be a key part of the proposals for constitutional reform, and the Government will set out their plans for taking this forward shortly.

Not 'its'? Perchance he thinks he will not be there when it happens.

Aviation related factlet o' the day:

Mr. Gerald Howarth: To ask the Secretary of State for Defence what the hourly cost of air-to-air refuelling of an RAF VC10 is.

Mr. Quentin Davies: The full-cost hourly rate of operating a VC10 tanker in the air for financial year 2009-10 is calculated to be £29,235. This figure incorporates a variety of costs to enable an aircraft to operate such as personnel costs, servicing of the aircraft and fuelling of the aircraft. It does not include the costs of the fuel payload VC10's carry to refuel other aircraft.

Odious though the turncoat Davies is, he missed the opportunity to say to Howarth - who cares how much it costs, mid-air refuelling is just awesomely cool.

Sticking with VC10, say hello to this week's most contrived acronym: "Maintenance of the RAF VC10 fleet is provided by BAE Systems under a partnering agreement called JAVELIN (joint approach to VC10 engineering and logistics integration)"

Guess who does not represent a naval constituency:

Mr. Ellwood: To ask the Secretary of State for Defence what assessment he has made of the merits of transferring control of the Fleet Air Arm to the Royal Air Force.

Bill Rammell [holding answer 16 June 2009]: No such assessment has been made.

Ellwood represents Bournemouth East, and may well have set himself up for a lifetime of letters from Disgusted of Portsmouth, Disgruntled of Plymouth etc etc. Given that the FFA is only five years off getting its hands on some really hot planes for the first time in decades, Ellwood is being really mean.


Guess how many lags per screw there are in the nation's category C prisons, which hold 'those who cannot be trusted in open conditions but who are unlikely to try to escape'?

Dizzy just volunteered 500, my guess would have been maybe 20. In fact it varies from 2.3 to 5.1 per prison. A far cry from 'Porridge'. Meanwhile, I also discover that there are some 525 septuagenarians (or older) doing time.


We, the Great British Public, are somewhat unimpressed by the criminal justice system:

Mr. Grieve: To ask the Secretary of State for Justice what assessment he made of the level of public confidence in the criminal justice system in 2008.

Mr. Straw: Public confidence in the criminal justice system (CJS) is measured using the British crime survey (BCS). In the year to March 2008 44 per cent. of people were confident that the CJS is effective in bringing people who commit crimes to justice. This rose from 39 per cent. in 2003, and met the Government’s target for the period 2003—2008.

That's pretty dire.

Andrew Robathan is a chiropteraphile. That's a bat lover.

"I like bats, I love seeing bats flying and I want bat populations to flourish"

Which is nice. Doubtless bats feel the same way about the family Robathan, although probably not the flying bit. Way back lost in the mists of time, the one time family home of Ma and Pa Croydonian had yearly visitors in the form of Leisler's bat, a comparative rarity in England. Chiropteraphiles would descend on Croydonian Towers to capture, tag and gaze in awe at said bats. There was also the fun of a Christmas card addressed to the family 'and your bats'.

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Back to the Hansard trawling

Tuesday, June 16, 2009
There was not a lot there yesterday, bar the DPRK 'luxury goods' question, but today looks more promising.

Anyway, the senior house first, for a change:

"Lord Warner - To ask Her Majesty's Government how many offences of (a) murder, (b) rape, (c) other sexual offences, and (d) other violent offences were committed in (1) 1976—77, (2) 1986—87, (3) 1996—97, and (4) 2006—07"

The resulting data for recorded crime is heavily caveated with regard to changed reporting standards and so forth, but stand by to be shocked. Maybe:


And to think that there are some dreadful cynics who do not believe that the crime rate is under control.

Sticking with crime, Lord Roberts of Llandudno doesn't like subways, by the look of things:

Lord Roberts of Llandudno To ask Her Majesty's Government how many criminal offences are recorded as having been committed in underpasses in London in (a) 1995, (b) 2000, (c) 2005, (d) 2006, (e) 2007, and (f) 2008.

Alas the question could not be answered as the data has not been collected.

Lord Lester of Herne Hill is concerned about gender pay gaps at the Treasury:

Lord Lester of Herne Hill To ask Her Majesty's Government whether there is a gender pay gap in HM Treasury; if so, what is the percentage difference; and what are the reasons for the difference.

Says

The Financial Services Secretary to the Treasury (Lord Myners): The Treasury does not have a significant gender pay gap when the salaries of men and women doing a similar role are compared.


And the figures look like this, with XX chromosome types better off than XY types in three civil service categories, with women never averaging less than 97% of average male departmental mean salary, but topping out at 107% in SCS2, whatever that is.


Were the boot on the other foot, one imagines that Myners would have been liberal with the scattering of pious bromides. I decided against a truncated scale, even though that would have made for a more exciting chart.

Another Lord has a good question:

Lord Stoddart of Swindon To ask Her Majesty's Government whether the daily allowance of €298 available to United Kingdom Members of the European Parliament for attending the European Parliament is taxable; and, if so, whether United Kingdom tax rates are levied.
The Financial Services Secretary to the Treasury (Lord Myners): Following the judgment in the 1981 European Court of Justice judgment in the case of Lord Bruce of Donington v Eric Gordon Aspden, the daily subsistence allowance for Members of European Parliament (MEPs) is payable without deduction of tax at source. UK MEPs are not required to declare payment of the allowance on their UK tax returns.

Alright for some...

A rather good aside from Lord Adonis:

Lord Adonis: My Lords, first, I thank the noble Lord for his kind opening remarks. When I was introduced into the House four years ago, somebody was heard to mutter, “My God, it’s child labour”. I hope that I have grown up a little since then, although I note that I am among only 18 per cent of the House not eligible for a free bus pass.

And from the other place, we have a definitive list of what's hot and what's not, aviation wise:

Dr. Fox: To ask the Secretary of State for Defence what the (a) required and (b) actual number of pilots for each aircraft type in the RAF is.

There are shortfalls for the C130J Hercules, the VC10, the Tristar, the C17A, HS125, Tornado GR4 (surprising, that), Nimrod MR2 (Maybe because it would be pretty embarassing to say 'Je suis le pilote d'un avion emmerdeux' to Francophone colleagues), Sentinel R1, E3D, Dominie, Tucano, Merlin, Hawk, Puma, Chinook, Squirrel, Sea King, King Air and The Reaper (Grim or otherwise). On the other hand, there is a waiting list for the Typhoon and the Tornado F3, inter alia. Fancy.

Sticking with Defence, John Hutton's taste in papers and periodicals has been revealed:

Mr. Philip Hammond: To ask the Secretary of State for Defence what (a) newspapers and (b) periodicals are delivered to the private office of each Minister in his Department; and at what cost in the latest period for which figures are available.

In among the newspapers ordered in March (hence the reference to Hutton, not Ainsworth) lurk The Economist, The Specatator, Private Eye and the New Statesman. But neither Flight International nor Soldier of Fortune, inter alia.

Stupid question of the day:

Norman Baker: To ask the Minister of State, Department for Transport pursuant to the answer of 20 April 2009, Official Report, column 396W, on transport: Royal Family, if he will specify that (a) scheduled flights and (b) timetabled railway services should be used for journeys by members of the Royal Family funded from his Department's budget.


My Republican proclivities notwithstanding, I do not think that it is reasonable to expect Her Maj and the more recognisable Saxe-Coburg-Gotha Battenbergs to fight through the hoi polloi at Victoria and whichever are the nearest stations to Balmoral and Sandringham.

Which is roughly what the response was:

Paul Clark [holding answer 12 June 2009]: Decisions on air and rail travel arrangements for Members of the Royal Family are taken by the Royal Travel Office and Royal Household on a case-by-case basis as they must be judged on consideration of safety and security requirements, obtaining the best value for money, time-efficiency, the visit requirements, the avoidance of disruption to the public, the environment, and the appropriateness for the visit in question.

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Further Hansard excavations

Wednesday, June 10, 2009
No wonder the F&CO is 'the envy of the world' - it moves so quickly and gives away its negotiating stances:

Mrs. Spelman: To ask the Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs when he expects negotiations with the Crown Estates Commissioners on his Department's lease on 1 Carlton Gardens to be completed.

Chris Bryant: We expect negotiations to be completed by December 2009.

I trust the CEC's lawyers will have some fun wirh that information.

Mind you, elsewhere we have further evidence of someone who has not really got the hang of this forward planning malarkey, the one and only, le seul et unique, your friend and mine, Mr Jack Straw:

Mr. Grieve: To ask the Secretary of State for Justice how much expenditure was incurred by his Department in respect of the Cabinet meeting in Glasgow on 16 April 2009. [278247]

Mr. Straw: I attended the Regional Cabinet meeting in Glasgow on 16 April 2009. £132—for my return travel by train from Oxenholme Station to Glasgow Central station. There was no further departmental expenditure by the Ministry of Justice in relation to the meeting.

Spring-heeled Jack presumably goes first class - I can live with that - but a quick look at the National Rail site suggests that an advance single can be had for £27 quid. I do not suppose that Brown texted the cabinet suggesting a bunfight in Glasgow was just the thing at 9AM on the day.

Enough of facetiousness, at least for a paragraph or two:

Mrs. Spelman: To ask the Secretary of State for Justice what timetable his Department has established for introducing the requirement for signatures for the issuing of ballot papers in polling stations.

Mr. Wills: The Government continue to consider how this measure could most effectively be implemented, including timing issues. We will need to ensure that any approach to this issue is aligned with other reforms to the registration and electoral processes. Source

It is a source of some happiness that there is so little fraud at polling stations, considering how little checking of identity goes on. Last week I gave the polling bod my card and was not even asked to confirm my address.

Lead swingers at the top of the food chain:

Mr. Gordon Prentice: To ask the Secretary of State for Justice how many members of the judiciary have been (a) suspended on full pay and (b) on sick pay for over 12 months; and if he will make a statement.

Mr. Straw: There is one member of the judiciary that has been suspended on full pay and four on sick pay for over 12 months.

Wouldn't it be cheaper to get them to retire?

The nation's cons are spending more time in lockdown:

Mr. Grieve: To ask the Secretary of State for Justice how long on average elapsed between prisoners' cells being unlocked in the morning and prisoners being returned to their cells in the evening in each month of the last two years.

In 2007, the average was over 10 hours a day, now it is around nine and a half hours. This, note, is the figure across all lags. Having views on rehabilitation and so on that verge on the dangerously liberal, one does wonder whether the extra 30 + minutes of lockdown is for any reason other than cutting the overtime for the screws.

Paul Holmes: To ask the Secretary of State for the Home Department how many bicycle thefts were reported in each police authority area in each year since 1997.
Source

The police want to speak to these two:


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A new frontier for outsourcing

Sunday, May 24, 2009
From Dutch daily NRC Handelsblad:

"The Dutch justice ministry has announced it will close eight prisons and cut 1,200 jobs in the prison system. A decline in crime has left many cells empty.

During the 1990s the Netherlands faced a shortage of prison cells, but a decline in crime has since led to overcapacity in the prison system. The country now has capacity for 14,000 prisoners but only 12,000 detainees".

Good for the Dutch. What are they doing that we are not, and might they offer some hints?

Here, however, is the interesting bit:

Some reprieve might come from a deal with Belgium, which is facing overpopulation in its prisons. The two countries are working out an agreement to house Belgian prisoners in Dutch prisons. Some five-hundred Belgian prisoners could be transferred to the Tilburg prison by 2010.
I had a conversation with another blogger (I forget who) a while back about the prospects of outsourcing gaols to other jurisidictions, and I concluded that considerations over visits by relatives would make this fall at the first hurdle.





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Great prosecutions of our time

From Ha'aretz:

"A Jerusalem magistrate court ruled last week that a Hebron settler who shouted "Heil Sharon" - a reference to then-prime minister Ariel Sharon - at a police officer while making a stiff-armed Nazi salute should not be tried for insulting a public sector worker.

The magistrate judge, Hagit Mac-Kalmanovich, determined that if the settler had used the word "Nazi" or a similar word in referring to the police officers, or if the settler had uttered "Heil Hitler" or a similar statement which implied that the officers are Nazis or resemble Nazis, this would undoubtedly have constituted a crime".

Dear lord, how much more inference do Jerusalem's beaks need? Further, while the date of the salute is not given, the big man officially stood down in April 2006, so it looks as though justice in Israel is not exactly swift.

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Real estate opportunity of the year

Friday, May 15, 2009
The Governor of California is proposing to flog off the site of San Quentin prison, and quite choice its location is too:

"The correctional complex sits on Point San Quentin, which comprises 432 acres (1.75 km2) of desirable waterfront real estate overlooking the north side of San Francisco Bay. The prison complex itself occupies 275 acres (1.11 km2) of land, whose value a 2001 study estimated at between $129 million and $664 million".

Sounds like a plan. I would imagine that of British prisons, Wandsworth must sit on the most valuable real estate. One would think that our mainly 19th century prisons, often built in central (ish)residential locations, could be flogged off for redevelopment and be re-built to more modern standards elsewhere. After all, if the concept of prisons was invented today, how many of the current sites would be deemed sensible?

Anyway, shame the Man in Black isn't around to write another song about it.

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No overtime for Mandy?

Tuesday, May 12, 2009
More Parliamentary odds and ends:

"Mr. Hoban: To ask the Minister of State, Department for Business, Enterprise and Regulatory Reform how many laptops were provided to (a) Ministers, (b) special advisers and (c) civil servants in his Department in each year since 2005; and what the cost to the public purse was. [266346]"

Fascinating, huh?

Anyway, McFadden's figures give two, yes two, laptops in use at ministerial level in 2009. And the BERR has seven ministers. Does this mean that two peons are slaving away on the train home, or that five of them are being denied their inalienable right to play tetris at the weekend?

Meanwhile, and wholly unconnected to the above, what is England's #1 motoring offence, with near as damn it a quarter of a million convictions in 2007?

Norman Baker: To ask the Secretary of State for Justice how many individuals were convicted of each driving offence in each year since 1997.

Mr. Straw: The number of persons found guilty at all courts for offences relating to motor vehicles in England and Wales for the years 1997 to 2007 (latest available) are shown in the following tables.

Vehicle insurance offences, followed by licence related offences ay 184,826 and only then speeding at a derisory 148,607. Surprised? I was.

Elsewhere, David Drew asked this: "To ask the Secretary of State for Defence how many foreign nationals from each country of origin (a) serving and (b) who formerly served in the UK armed forces are estimated would become eligible for residency in the UK if there were an automatic right to residency as a current or former service person".

Go on, guess.



I knew that there were a fair number of Fijians serving Her Maj, but relative to population it looks to be St Vincent and the Grenadines that is the most reliant on the forces for employment opportunities. For what it is worth, I am in favour of nationality for anyone serving a full term and being honourably discharged.

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Spot the alleged criminal

Tuesday, May 05, 2009
A diversion from the other side of the pond:

Welcome to PickThePerp.com! Click on the perp who you think was booked for the crime shown.

And it looks like this:

It is not especially easy, except when the charge is prostitution and there's only one woman in the line up. The drink /drug offences give you half a chance as the most wrecked-looking person is often the one who has been charged. Best I've managed is a streak of three matches and a 30 odd % success rate. Give it a go.

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One in ten of the population of England has its DNA held by the police.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Technically, 9.6% or 4,906,467, compared to a population for England of 51M. Shocked? I am dumbfounded.

As Lord West of Spithead was good enough to break down the figures by policing region, I have compared those to county populations and graphed them. The highlight is the DNA-happy Northumbria police which holds DNA samples for 13% of the population. Note that Newcastle is policed by that constabulary. At the other end of the scale are Gloucestershire and Surrey at 6%. Note that constabularies do not always map neatly onto historic county boundaries, with the Thames Valley covering Bucks, Berks and Oxford.


I ran out of enthusiasm before tackling Wales (Scottish data is not given), but 302,341 DNA samples are held for a population of 3,004,600, or 10% of the population.

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The Good Mugging Guide to France

Friday, April 17, 2009
Le Figaro has the figures for various offences, département by département:

And it is the DOM/TOMs, gay Paree and the South East leading for assaults / robbery with violence, sexual violence etc.

Seine St Denis leads for per capita assaults, with Cantal (Auvergne) the safest. Mind you, finding anyone to jump there would be a struggle, it being a bit lacking in population.

SSD also leads for robbery with violence, with Cantal, Creuse (Limousin) and Lozère (Languedoc Rousillon) the safest. The Territoire de Belfort has the odium of the highest per capita levels of sexual violence with Lot (Midi-Pyrénées) and Landes (Aquitaine) the safest.

Those places that most concern me, Côtes-d'Armor and the Hérault show a mixed picture, with the former in the safest 20 or so, and the Hérault the 20th most dangerous.

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