Well not exactly, but I'm feeling literary today, and so
to a report on the lifting of hose pipe bans today - and you can bet your bottom euro you will not be getting a letter from your water company telling you this.
'Dame' Yve Buckland,
a quango queen if ever there was one, and for whom I was not given the opportunity to vote in as head of the Consumer Council for Water, reckons "
Consumers...will be relieved that restrictions have been lifted before the planting and growing season starts in the garden. However, it's still important that we use water wisely.
Consumers are prepared to do their bit, both by avoiding wastage and by considering water-efficient devices".Erm, this the
consumer council, yes? As a matter of absolutely basic economics, when any commodity is available on an all you can eat basis, there is absolutely no incentive for a user to pay any mind to how they use it. Given that water metering is not being rolled out in any serious fashion, water use cannot be controlled through use of the price mechanism, so instead we are faced with the annual campaign of bullying, intimidation and 'shaming' into restricting the amount of water one uses.
These include:
"Use water efficient appliances in the home. A typical family of four uses the equivalent of two baths of water every day: fit a Save-a-Flush device (you may see it called a 'hippo' or even a 'bog hog') and you could save a litre each time you flush".They do not work. One has to double flush...
"
Save water when washing - take a shower rather than a bath, don't leave the tap on when brushing your teeth and use the plug in the washbasin when shaving".
Right. And then one has to run the tap to rinse away the bristle / shaving soap tide mark around one's sink. Also not a very good idea. And for the more romantic among my readers, a candlelit shower tends to be less atmospheric.
And so on and so forth. However, for businesses it gets worse:
"Appoint a water monitor: Assign a member of staff to walk regularly around the site, checking for any obvious waste or excessive water use".I'll offer the usual odds - Lombard St to a rotten orange - that the average corporate water monitor will be a self-important and deeply disfunctional automaton from 'Human Resources' who will be transported to ecstacy by his or her new powers to 'bully, intimidate and 'shame'.
And perhaps the victims will declare:
"Ah ! well a-day ! what evil looks
Had I from old and young!
Instead of the cross the Albatross
About my neck was hung".Water metering - NOW. You know it makes sense.
Labels: Big Nanny, Quangos
