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Quango to public : don't forget to breathe

OK, I exaggerate, but not by much.

I have had run ins with the Consumer Council for Water before, and they seem to have decided to start 2009 by getting under my skin in assuming that the entire population of the country is composed of mouth-breathing, drooling, idiots:

"Drinking water can help kick start the new year and help with resolutions to keep fit and lose weight, but it's not always easy to remember to drink the recognised two litres of water per day, which is why the Consumer Council for Water has some top tips to help everyone stay healthy and hydrated in 2009...Water is lost when we go to the toilet (I think the word they are looking for is 'lavatory'. C), and even though we may not notice it, through our skin and our breath".

OK, so this wretched quango has to find a way of justifying its existence, so dopey press releases are par for the course. I find that thirst is a really effective early warning system for dehydration, but it gets worse. Much, much, worse:

"The Consumer Council for Water's top tips to stay hydrated:

1. Start each day with a glass of water.

2. Try to drink a glass of water at set points of the day, with each cup of tea or coffee or with meals.

3. Carry water with you when you're out and about. Well, I suppose this is meant to be the age of Aquarius.

And so on, ad nauseam.

Here, however, is the stand out:

5. The charity WaterAid offers free software you can download and install on your PC. During the workday, six messages will pop up to remind you to Drink More Water.

And for the purposes of research, I have held my nose and gone to investigate:

"Our Drink More Water reminder is an application you can download and install on your PC. It consists of a series of six messages that will pop up on your pc throughout the day to remind you to Drink More Water". You can also download the Drink More Water screensaver".

I am struggling to imagine that many folk would be able to get past one or two reminders without aiming a stiletto or half-brogue at the screen. Doubtless embittered Sys Ads could have some fun installing it across a corporate network on final days of employment.

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Blogger hatfield girl said... 12:17 pm

'Water is lost when...'

Oh no it isn't. It's coming out of the taps for those further down stream.  

Anonymous Mark Brentano said... 1:04 pm

I used to know someone who worked for WaterAid. She certainly knew a lot about water, particularly the lack of it in Africa. Just to make sure she was up to speed, she enjoyed a couple of jollies to Africa to see for herself. She used to stress how important water is as though it were something the listener would be intrigued and grateful to learn. Look out for AirAid...  

Blogger Nick Drew said... 1:11 pm

Aquarius = the man who carries the can

ancient joke © Michael Flanders  

Blogger Croydonian said... 1:31 pm

HG - Too true.

Mark - Even as we speak, I do not doubt that grandmothers are being taught how to suck eggs...

Nick - Ho ho.  

Anonymous Anonymous said... 8:04 pm

And the press release says every water customer in England and Wales pay 25p a year to them.

That's 10 million well spent.  

Blogger Leg-iron said... 3:08 am

Beer is mostly water. So that counts. If that software can be edited to pop up 'Don't forget to drink more beer', I'll have it.

Amazing that they want us to drink water with tea and coffee. What do they think those are made of?

A friend of mine used to have a good answer to drinking more water. 'Don't you know what fish do in that stuff?' Put me off for life...  

Blogger fripper01 said... 9:11 am

Use more water,hmm. Right,it's a trick. Most likely the build up to some sort of surcharge on 'above average' water usage.

Encourage more water use,then proclaim a water emergency and slap that surcharge on it.

In my town for the past few years the water department stressed water conservation. In order to shut them up,people played along.

Lo and behold,due to lower income due to lower water usage they wanted to raise the rates.  

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