<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d14058325\x26blogName\x3dChiswickite++-+formerly+The+Croydonian\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLUE\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttps://croydonian.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_GB\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://croydonian.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d5887652838424436549', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

Petition of the day at petitions.pm.gov.uk

"We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Force the manufacturers of Alco-pops include a high dose fertility control hormone in order to reduce the rate of un-planned teenage pregnancies in the UK".

Yes, really. Here it is.
« Home | Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »

Anonymous Anonymous said... 4:37 pm

Oh here we go again. Blaming someone else for a problem. When are we going to wake up and start taking responsibility for our own existence?

It is not the Alcopop manufacturers who are to be blamed but the kids that drink them. More police on the street and proper punishment for underage drinkers is the answer in my book  

Anonymous Anonymous said... 4:46 pm

why not just give out more free condoms? See you are posting a lot of articles today.. bored are we?  

Anonymous newmania said... 4:47 pm

Heretic you may have missed the point .I `m not sure what the provenance of this is C. Who makes the suggestion exactly . I have followed the link but to be honest its like an April Fool isn`t it? Surely ?  

Blogger Croydonian said... 5:05 pm

TR - Yup, slow day work-wise.

N - Anyone can post a petition, and doesn't it show.

Even those petitions with loads of signatures are wasting the petitioner's time - Blair is not going to repeal thae anti-hunting legislation, or stand on his head and juggle ice cream.  

Anonymous Anonymous said... 5:26 pm

I say
IQ in double figures?
sterilise them.  

Anonymous Suttonian said... 5:32 pm

TR - they have enough free condoms.
They don't use them. Why shd they -the resulting momzerim will be paid for by the state/tax-payer - unlike in N'lands, which is the real reason for their lower teen preg rate.  

Blogger Croydonian said... 5:41 pm

A thoroughly socialist plan PH. They have always been the cheerleaders for eugenics, so let us note that Sidney 'Fabians' Webb was an enthusiast, considering that 'the lower orders' were characterised thus: "Maximum birth rates; thriftless; idle; drunken; profligate; feeble- minded; unfit; lacking in self-respect and foresight".  

Anonymous Anonymous said... 6:17 pm

looks like we will be meeting next week mr C
I will be the loner in the corner dressed in cammo  

Blogger Croydonian said... 6:18 pm

Depends if I'm on the guest list....  

Anonymous Anonymous said... 6:18 pm

Sanjay Gandhi; he once implemented what you suggested when his mom declared an emergency in the 70s..
A most excellent idea.. the end of the chavs..  

Anonymous Anonymous said... 6:33 pm

should that be hindi?  

Anonymous Anonymous said... 6:33 pm

I know , I also happen to think it was a good idea .
Please dont be offended by me calling you Ramalamadingdong , its just tough luck if you are! (+:
Are you a hindu?  

Anonymous Anonymous said... 6:36 pm

Anybody know where the word chav comes from?
It's from romani palari which is Romani slang
as opposed to polari which was a gay code language  

Anonymous Tejus said... 6:52 pm

lol.. hitchens.. no worries..  

Anonymous Ellee said... 7:44 pm

Hi Croydonian, This would be a good one for you to mention on Thursday evening, I've seen your name up in lights!  

Blogger Croydonian said... 7:45 pm


Blogger james higham said... 7:45 pm

Rather good idea, though - spike the Alcopop.  

Blogger Croydonian said... 7:52 pm

Or TB contaminated shellsuits?

(Message for the irony-challenged. This is a JOKE)

PH - Opinions differ on the etymology of 'chav'  

Anonymous Anonymous said... 7:57 pm

Sorry C
If you're not on the list you aint coming in.
I will be on the door with a clipboard and an earpiece.
"Sorry mate , yellow socks are a no no"  

Blogger Croydonian said... 8:04 pm

Story of my life Peter...  

Blogger Rigger Mortice said... 8:45 pm

hitch gets an invite andf it's all we hear about.  

Anonymous newmania said... 8:47 pm

I don`t get this I `m talented pretty and fabulous and yet everyone except me is famous . C `s media comet shoots across the sky . Guido , intriguingly , knows who PHITCH is . I think that must mean he is famous (Princess Anne is my guess )

Something is badly wrong with this picture . Can I suggest C you correct the obvious structural discrimination with a lovingly illustrated homage to New mania . His life , his loves , his hopes his dreams . Fame quotas are required , the market is not delivering and it is a sure fire hit .No?

Oh well I `ll just stay in and tend this fire eh buttons  

Blogger Croydonian said... 8:56 pm

PH has been putting in the hours chez Guido, so I'm not jealous, not at all. I'll just have to see if ID is giving out invites, won't I?

Guido *claims* that he knows, but has advanced no evidence, still less any proof.

Newmania - Hats off to Newmania. Newmania is a groove and a gas. People should send him money and other fine things, for he is sound, an all round top chap, a raconteur & wit possessed of an encyclopaedic knowledge of the higher arts, and, what is more is *Croydon connected*. One would have to be a brain damaged moron or the victim of a cruel medical experiment not to recognise that a party is not worthy of the name without Newmania in attendance.

Good enough for a beta test Paul?  

Anonymous Anonymous said... 9:07 pm

Rigger who?
sorry mate youre not on the list
Now fuck off!
allo darling in ya come  

Anonymous newmania said... 9:10 pm

It has never struck before what a very insightful and discerning chap C is . His qualities are now clear  

Anonymous Anonymous said... 9:10 pm

oh do fuck off C
the Dale likes you.
you will be there
Im looking forward to meeting you , just dont try and borrow money off me.
Rigger you will have to stay on the other side of the red rope.
Sorry mate.  

Anonymous newmania said... 9:16 pm

Oh christ the dog truly haveth two dicks.I hope that he will be given the wrong address and a misleading instruction regarding fancy dress.Why is that twit wandering around a field dressed as Marie Antoinette sobbing. Thats what I would do anyway

Didn`t want to go to there stupid party anyway, stupid heads.

Oh god I `m so unhappppyyyy!!!  

Anonymous Anonymous said... 9:57 pm

if you are lucky you can have your photo taken with me via phonecam as long as you stay on the other side of the rope , Paris hilton is on the list.
I still dont see you , stand over there and hang on a minute.
Paris in you come , newmania mate you will have to come back later.  

Blogger Croydonian said... 9:58 pm

N - thought you'd approve.

PH - Well, we shall see, I suppose. If not, all we Z listers could get together somewhere and bitch and moan over a few beers.

N - Come on mate - you are the star of the Islington Gazette.  

Anonymous newmani said... 10:10 pm

Which way shall I fly
Infinite wrath and infinite despair?
Which way I fly is hell; myself am hell;

I `m going to bed. Not that anyone in the world cares ........Please god let PHITCH walk around with his knob hanging out and Croydonian get drunk and ruin his career . I don`t ask for much  

Blogger Croydonian said... 10:13 pm

Dear lord, this is all very unNewmania.

Voltaire's prayer, maybe?: "Lord, make my enemies ridiculous".  

Anonymous verity said... 10:21 pm

Croydonian notes: "They have always been the cheerleaders for eugenics, so let us note that Sidney 'Fabians' Webb was an enthusiast, considering that 'the lower orders' were characterised thus: Maximum birth rates; thriftless; idle; drunken; profligate; feeble- minded; unfit; lacking in self-respect and foresight.

Yes, but what if we're discussing the cabinet?  

Anonymous newmania said... 10:52 pm

Just kidding C natch . Verity where does that come from ? It was Sidney and Beatrice Webb wasn’t it. They lived in South London Brockley I think , and I used to know an old Lady who knew them well . She taught at Sunday School and her name was Mary Jeffries. My mother looked after her in her dotage and grabbed all her old tat. I ought to have a rifle
. I seem to recall that Bernard Shaw had some weird eugenically inclined ideas so perhaps it was quite a Fabian thing. Of all of them I like HG Wells who seems the most human. To them it was all logical I suppose . Like C`s misguided logical disapproval of the institution of monarchy. His fine instinctive support for Israel makes the same point in a different way. Logic is lies and science is always wrong.
Loyalty , love and honour . Hold these close . Amen  

Anonymous Colin said... 10:56 pm

Since you high IQ individuals spend your time on blogging instead on reproducing in large numbers, don't complain about the feeble-mindedness of future cabinets.

Disappointingly, only Mutleythedogsdayout is trying hard to change the situation as demonstrated by his recent article My Bedsit.  

Blogger Croydonian said... 11:05 pm

V - that was a genuine laugh out loud.

N - Yup, I quoted it earlier... It was Sid himself. Shaw was also a fan of eugenics. HG recanted, so he can be forgiven.

Speaking of Brockley, I was living near that blameless suburb at the time of Bush the Elder's declaration of his dislike of Broccoli, which rendered by him sounded like 'Brockley', causing some amusement.  

Anonymous newmania said... 11:20 pm

I misunderstood Verity`s post a bit , sorry . There was a fascinating play in a series of meetings that never happened . HG Wells met George Orwell. Years ago doing Eng Lit I realised that the Liberal establishment have never forgiven him and have tried to bury his reputation ever since.Same is true of Rudyard Kipling .
That easy sneer "adolescent" is often quite incorrectly wheeled out for Orwell  

Anonymous Anonymous said... 11:56 pm

Does it mean we can have sex with the teenagers without any chance of them dropping a rugrat to try to steal Granmammas Aga? If so I'll sign the petition. I met Rudyard Kipling once, he had just defecated and insisted on talking about toilets for about twenty minutes - most irritating - he died the following month.  

Anonymous Anonymous said... 12:00 am

Another thought - why not just leave them alone - after all the pregnancy rate amongst indigenous Brits is about -0.4% - we need our chavs to breed - or in twenty years we'll all have to learn Polish. And believe me thats not easy - worse than Croatian!  

Anonymous newmania said... 12:19 am

sadly I am filing press clipping and saw somethintg that might appeal to you C .Miss Israel has been given permission not to carry an assualt rifle during her two years of national service . She fears it will bruise her legs and spoil her modelling career.

In a wierd way it points out that Israel is a civlised country on the border. Values are in the crucible . It is this hard testing that I like  

» Post a Comment