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The Hansard Trawl, featuring misbehaving sheep and leftie hoisted by his own petard

Could this be the euphemism of the decade?

"Lynne Jones: To ask the Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs what assessment he has made of the effects of intensive livestock farming on climate change; and if he will make a statement.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
DEFRA has commissioned a number of studies, some of which are ongoing, to assess the environmental impacts of greenhouse gas emissions from several agricultural commodities throughout their lifecycle.

Who let that duck in....

Sticking with furry creatures and similar, this headline - Sheep: Tagging - made me wonder if ovines are defacing barn doors with 'Ban mint sauce', 'sheep rule' or whatever. Alas not.

And now this from Jeremy Corbyn:

To ask the Minister of State, Department for Transport what percentage of (a) white and (b) non-white staff of his Department of each (i) grade and (ii) pay band have received the highest performance marking in each reporting year since the inception of Department for Transport (central).

Someone who has spent as long on the wilder shores of the left as Corbyn should be well aware that it is deeply racist etc etc to define ethnicity in terms of normative whiteness. More here...

Odd question o' the day:

Joan Ryan: To ask the Minister of State, Department for Transport how many road fatalities there have been in each parliamentary constituency in Greater London in each of the last five years for which figures are available.

And the figures are in, and it is Mark Field of the Cities of London and Westminster who would have been sending the most (18) condolences last year, followed by Andrew Dismore of Hendon (11). No other constituency saw double figures. Paul Burstow of Sutton and Cheam can be happy that no-one has died on the roads in his seat in the last five years. Good for the road users there. Down here in sunny Croydon, Central has the worst record over five years (19), and South the best (9). Nice typo here - 'Hoi born and St. Pancras'. I may as well make the traditional reference to Dobson as the member for the two tube stations.

If ever a question deserved the 'disproportionate response' answer it is this one:

Mr. Paice: To ask the Secretary of State for Defence what estimate he has made of water consumption on his Department’s office estate in (a) 2005-06 and (b) 2006-07, (i) in total and (ii) per full-time equivalent member of staff.

Mr. Kevan Jones: It will take more time to collate and verify the information required to answer the question. I will write to the hon. Member with the information requested.

James Paice, our man in SE Cambs does not appear to be in the pay of the water barons, by the way. Jones was true to his word, and followed up with figures of 86 m3 in 2005-6 and 84 m3 in 2006-7.

Is the feline out of the satchel?:

Mr. Hayes: To ask the Secretary of State for the Home Department what activities have been undertaken by his Department’s Euro Minister in that capacity. [277178]

Mr. Woolas: A Home Office Minister has not attended any meetings on the Euro since 2007 and there are no plans to do so.

Good job too.

And over in the Lords, who feels a proper charlie now:

Lord Tyler: To ask Her Majesty's Government when they expect to reply to the Question for Written Answer tabled by Lord Tyler on 6 May (HL3404) and due for answer by 20 May. [HL4571]

Baroness Crawley: The Question was answered on 1 July 2009.

Lord Pearson may be a little paranoid:

To ask Her Majesty's Government further to the Written Answer by Lord West of Spithead on 10 June (WA 151), whether the Security Service has been or is active inside or towards the United Kingdom Independence Party or any of its members.

To ask Her Majesty's Government further to the Written Answer by Lord West of Spithead on 10 June (WA 151), whether the security services or the police have collaborated or are collaborating with the European Anti-Fraud Office or any other organ of the European Union in relation to the United Kingdom Independence Party or any of its members. [HL4591]

To ask Her Majesty's Government whether the Security Service has investigated or is engaged with the United Kingdom Independence Party.

The answer is about as boilerplate as they come:
The Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State, Home Office (Lord West of Spithead): The established policy of successive Governments is not to comment on questions about Security Service investigations.
Well, they would say that, wouldn't they?

And as for this - 'The Security Service Act 1989 sets out its functions and prohibits it doing anything in furtherance of the interests of a political party. It does not investigate anyone for being a member of a campaigning organisation' - I do not believe it.

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