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"Continental people have sex life; the English have hot water bottles"

George Mikes' observation seems to be believed by our various neighbours Outre Manche, judging from a survey for the Game of Love Observatory, or Observatoire du Jeu Amoureux. Looks to be a PR stunt for an internet dating firm, but enough pre-amble, to the amusing findings:

In which of these countries (UK, D, F, I, E) is love most important?:

We reckon Italy - 43%. And us? 14%. Pity the poor Germans: 2%. Our average score across five countries is 5%, and the lowest overall. France's average is 31% and Italy's 37%.

Mind you, the reputation of our womanhood (and chaps too) has been noted - 33% think the time between meeting and closing the deal, as it were, is shortest with Britons.

Elsewhere, Italy leads for Lotharios and Lothariettos, with the British, French and the ever modest Italians considering them the most seductive. The Spanish think they are the best, we give ourselves 22%, no one else goes above 3%.

Best dressed? 14% of Germans think they are, and a rather deluded (present company excepted) 16% of Britons think we are. They shoot horses, don't they?

Pity the land of Cervantes, Lorca, Velasquez etc - only 2% of Germans, Italians and Gauls judge them 'the most cultivated'. We give them 5%, they give themselves 16%. A modest 62% of Germans give themselves the laurels. We attract a solid 25% average share of voice.

Don't bother telling a joke in Milan or Valencia - the Italians and Spanish do not think we are funny. They think they are. However, you have a one in four chance of bringing the house down in Germany or France. Pity the Germans and the French - take away folk voting for themselves and they fail to secure a double figure share of voice anywhere. We are the most likely to be creasing up at Teutonic humour after the Germans - 2% of us think they have best humour. I suspect that those responding thus were having some fun with the questionaire....

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