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Put not your faith in plinths

It would appear to be that time again - Livingstone and his chums choose which horror to inflict on the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square. And the usual suspects have well and truly been rounded up:

Tracey Emin's proposal has a group of meerkats:

And for why? "She has noticed that ‘whenever Britain is in crisis or, as a nation, is experiencing sadness and loss (for example, after Princess Diana’s funeral), the next programme on television is Meerkats United’. Emin proposes to place a sculpture of a small group of meerkats on the empty plinth as a symbol of unity and safety".

Harmless enough, if a little silly.

Antony Gormley thinks he has found some 8,760 Angels of the South:

"Antony Gormley proposes that the fourth plinth is occupied 24 hours a day by members of the public who have volunteered to stand on it for an hour at a time. Over a period of 12 months, 8,760 people would take part. ‘Through elevation onto the plinth and removal from common ground’, explains Gormley, ‘the subjective living body becomes both representation and representative, encouraging consideration of diversity, vulnerability and the individual in contemporary society’". My thoughts precisely.....

Other proposals include "five concave mirrors [which] cantilever off the plinth treating all its faces as supports. The plinth is thought of as an object which is dematerialised by the mirrors" and "a scale replica of Nelson’s ship, HMS Victory, in a giant glass bottle. The ship’s magnificent sails will be produced in richly coloured and patterned textiles".

Sticking my neck out 1/16th of an inch, none of those will be selected. What will be selected is one of these two:

"‘It is not an artwork, but the remains of a vehicle that has been destroyed in an attack on civilians in Iraq’". Can you not imagine just how much that will épater les bourgeoises? Livingstone et al are probably in a state of ecstasy just thinking about it? Will the 'artist' have the wreck shipped from Baghdad or just haul it away from the nearest dump? And why a Scirocco, I wonder?

If not that, then this:

Faîtes L’Art, pas La Guerre

"This illuminated peace sign – powered by the sun and the wind – questions our ideas about history and monuments on the one hand, and art and war on the other. The work, which is a collaboration between renewable energy specialists, structuralengineers (sic) and an architect, seeks to rebrand Trafalgar Square as a beacon of our cultural future rather than a memorial to England’s military past". I think we have a winner, do we not?

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Blogger Bretwalda Edwin-Higham said... 4:29 pm

You're becoming more sublime as you go on, Mr. C.  

Blogger Croydonian said... 4:48 pm

Thanks James, but some days it is like hunting sheep with a 12 bore.  

Anonymous GH "Pepsi" Brundtland said... 4:56 pm

How about Amy Jade Winehouse lying drunk on the pavement?  

Anonymous puzzled of nether wallop said... 7:25 pm

I have grown a second penis. Is this normal?  

Blogger Croydonian said... 7:29 pm

PNW - I suspect not, although I make no claims for medical expertise.  

Blogger Mrs Smallprint said... 8:02 pm

I think nu lab introduced a new law against hunting sheep some time back. Take care not to get caught.  

Blogger Ed said... 9:25 pm

Be careful, Mr C, by saying that the blown-out car is not art, you seem to be suggesting that Tracey Emin's "effort" is...  

Anonymous Lord Bogus Highamighty said... 9:41 pm

Half of Toni Blair, preserved in formaldehyde.  

Blogger Caroline Hunt said... 9:53 pm

I've always been very fond of meerkats. I'm deeply hurt by your dismissal of them.  

Anonymous Anonymous said... 11:04 pm

I agree with your analysis, C. Perhaps we could have Livingstone on there? I'll go fetch the eggs!!!  

Blogger Croydonian said... 7:30 am

Ed - 'twas the artist saying the burnt out Scirocco is not art, not me.

Caroline - meerkats have their place, but not in Trafalgar Square.  

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