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Bored with underwriting, IT or corporate data mining and fancy a new job?

In which case, have I got the job vacancy for you: the people who live in the dark (MI5) need a new head spook.

It sounds like quite the workplace - 'We are based in modern, air-conditioned office accommodation with onsite facilities that include a subsidised restaurant, coffee bar, squash courts and multi-gym'.(Source) And it is an 'Investor in People' and is 'Positive about disabled people', so it looks bad for Italians...

But if any of you apply, you'll have to keep schtum: "
If you decide to apply for a position here you must limit those you tell about your application to your immediate family (parents and/or siblings) and/or your partner".

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Anonymous newmania said... 2:26 pm

Well I "won`t" be applying C, . I haven o interest in this job . I will continue with my normal life.It will all be as ifnothing had happened...which it hasn`t.  



Blogger Croydonian said... 2:36 pm

Just felt it was my duty to relay the information...  



Anonymous verity said... 2:38 pm

I didn't apply, I assure you. I did not make a job application. In fact, I didn't even see your post.  



Anonymous nick drew said... 2:51 pm

wot a cracker of a website MI5 have got!

FAQ: "can I apply if I have a criminal record?"

A: "Yes"

(Seeing as John Reid is in dire need of somewhere to place convicted criminals, it can't be long before joined-up Government puts 2 and 2 together here...)

Best of all, a tab to click called "Who Are We Looking For?"  



Anonymous newmania said... 3:25 pm

Yes Verity I note with interest that you have also "not "applied. If I say to you ..." the Trams run slowly in the Wintertime"....it will of course be idle chit chat and no more.  



Anonymous nick drew said... 3:38 pm

yeah, still haven't decoded that long transmission on *trams* by 'C' yesterday

I've got as far as 'trams' = trains carrying nuclear waste and 'Ken Livingstone' = Bin Laden...  



Anonymous nick drew said... 3:38 pm

yeah, still haven't decoded that long transmission on *trams* by 'C' yesterday

I've got as far as 'trams' = trains carrying nuclear waste and 'Ken Livingstone' = Bin Laden...  



Anonymous Anonymous said... 3:50 pm

The problem is with the pay scales. MI5 are not what one could describe as big payers. Certainly not early in your career at any rate...  



Anonymous verity said... 3:54 pm

Newmania - The snow in Moscow makes slow work of shifting P.lon.um-.10.

Idle chit chat, Nick. Passing the time of day is all.  



Anonymous verity said... 3:55 pm

tony - Well, yes, but there's a subsidised cafeteria. Not that I would know. I read it somewhere.  



Blogger Croydonian said... 3:56 pm

I have various spook connections via friends of friends and relatives of friends, and one of them found that a great perk of working for Special Branch was that he could brandish his 'Warning - Armed police' flash card and get onto buses etc without paying. Very ethical. Doubtless there are all sorts of similar dodges...  



Anonymous Anonymous said... 4:00 pm

I should imagine That it is an incredibly dull place to work.
Anybody who has had any dealings with army intelligence will tell you what a bunch of dull thickos they are ,
Friend of mine joined and learned to speak Kurdish then they posted him to Berlin(true)
God know what this lot are like.  



Anonymous verity said... 4:00 pm

Oh, God. Now PHitch will be running down to apply!  



Anonymous David Allen said... 4:18 pm

Sounds very dull. Think I'd rather be a danish fisherman! (see Hunter's latest story!)  



Anonymous verity said... 4:32 pm

Now you've visited their website they will have run a check on you. Not that I would know.  



Anonymous Bond Brook Bond said... 5:30 pm

What about subsidised parking for my aston martin?  



Blogger Croydonian said... 5:39 pm

BBB - Nope, MI5 spies on us. MI6 spies on them.  



Anonymous verity said... 6:19 pm

Who's them these days?  



Blogger Croydonian said... 6:48 pm

Good point... Probably not Norway.  



Anonymous David Allen said... 6:56 pm

If I remember rightly, MI6 get the better deal, office-wise. Don't they have that rather flash Terry Farrell building* (partly) in green glass on the south bank? MI5 on the other hand, I think are in that rather gri-looking Lubyanka of a building on the north bank. Hear it was fun in the old days with MI5, CCHQ and Transport House all sharing the same local, The Marquis of Granby....
*You may recall this took years to build after numerous planning inquiries (objections to the prospect of 'the green giant', as it was not very fondly known). It was a speculative development and ended up costing so much money that it was rumoured it would never find a buyer/tenant to cover the cost _ until HMG stepped in, bought it for the spooks and spent a further £120million making it fit for M et al.....  



Blogger Croydonian said... 7:02 pm

Ceausescu Towers makes me so bloody angry every time I see it that I'm at the risk of losing all coherence. That the 'secret service' should be in just about the most sore thumb building in London, as well as being a staggeringly expensive waterfront development is well nigh a criminal act.

I would have thought that a converted warehouse in Scunthorpe would have been both cheaper and a good deal more sensible.  



Anonymous David Allen said... 7:06 pm

Agreed, C. But it makes a wonderful backdrop for a Bond movie _ didn't you just love that boat chase?  



Blogger Croydonian said... 7:08 pm

I have not watched a new Bond film in years - boring, formulaic etc etc etc.  



Anonymous Anonymous said... 7:23 pm

Well I applied for the job...

bugger, there goes my application now.

I have met several ex-spooks from both the camps. The MI6 lot seem quite with it and scary; if a little more knowing than I give credence too.

The MI5 lot end up in dull jobs in risk management at various city firms.  



Anonymous Anonymous said... 7:36 pm

...if I get the interview I will turn up in tin-foil hat, rubber boots and shades to really wow 'em.  



Anonymous verity said... 7:36 pm

"I would have thought that a converted warehouse in Scunthorpe would have been both cheaper and a good deal more sensible." Who convert it? Ambassador! You're spoiling us!

I haven't watched a Bond movie for years, either. And I certainly wouldn't go and see this one or rent the DVD. A NuLabour James Bond who doesn't like guns ... yech! Also, don't like his face. He looks too reminiscent of Andrew Marr.  



Anonymous Anonymous said... 8:11 pm

Verity
I already have shooting cufflinks (see my blog)
Will that help me at first interview stage or should I leave them at home?  



Anonymous Anonymous said... 8:16 pm

CU
MI6 is made up of ex army officers who work for a subsection of MI5  



Anonymous Anonymous said... 8:21 pm

that and Alistair Campbells mates  



Anonymous Anonymous said... 9:43 pm

I have already applied - obviously - and am limiting those I tell by only posting it here rather than on a popular blog like Praguetory!  



Anonymous Anonymous said... 9:43 pm

I have already applied - obviously - and am limiting those I tell by only posting it here rather than on a popular blog like Praguetory!  



Anonymous Anonymous said... 10:00 pm

Mr Mutley
As head of MI6 I hearby declare you sacked before you start.  



Blogger Croydonian said... 10:13 pm

Mutley - never mind the width, feel the quality.  



Anonymous nick drew said... 10:26 pm

speaking of quality, for Conservatism-&-Arts-heads the 2nd showing of Art of Eternity Pt is on BBC4 shortly.

Watched it first time around, quite interesting (on Icons)  



Blogger Croydonian said... 10:31 pm

Nick - sounds promising. I hope it does not clash with Newsnight - Crick is taking on the Smith Institute...

Also, check out this admittedly antique post by by Peter Whittle of the New Culture Forum.  



Anonymous nick drew said... 10:33 pm

no probs, the Icons are at 11.55

Off now to watch Crick...  



Anonymous verity said... 1:30 am

As other people have been rude enough to wander off topic, may I recommend UKcommentators.blogspot.com for running the entire of Daily Mial editor Paul Dacre's Hugh Cudlipp Memorial lecture in its entirety (in fact, the thread's titled Read The Whole Thing) and fascinating reading it is indeed. (I might just mention, he scores many direct, killer hits on the BBC.) It's immensely readable.

Just to tie this in with the legitimate thread, I do not know whether he has ever applied for an undercover job with an agency of which I have no knowledge.  



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