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Ridiculous surveys corner

This time from Norwich Union, which takes aim at stiletto shoes. A poll of 250 quacks found that 58% had treated stiletto related foot / ankle injuries, although whether these were wearer injuries or to bystanders who had been spiked is not clear. Further 'research' discloses the astonishing news that women are more likely to be wearing heels during the party season, and "23% said they suffered more accidents while in the shoes". Well fancy that. Having a truly terrible sense of balance, I fall off normal bloke shoes from time to time, so how heel wearers cope I know not. NU gives what will probably be the least heeded warning of the year: "We're seeing an increase in the number of patients causing themselves pain and injury due to impractical footwear and we urge all women to show caution when out socialising in high heels this Christmas". Presumably the company is not concerned with transvestites.

Broadening things out, I have a theory on shoes: few if any straight men have a footwear collection which runs into double figures including trainers, wellies etc, and outside of commune livers, try finding a woman with fewer than 10 pairs.
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Blogger Newmania said... 10:40 am

I’m told by Prageutory that with stilettos the thing is not to put your weight forward out of panic but to settle back onto the hips and point your feet out in the manner of a horse at dressage . Elegantly equine is the key. He also tells me that tranvesticism can only be successful if you don’t try to hard. Don’t go smutty go for the girl at the perfume counter look

Fund of information that praguetory interesting chap in many ways

NUs interests in trips and slips would be because it is a large claim area of course. In fact the answer to such claims is simpler. If you dig a hole near poor people they fling themselves down it like Lemmings . PHITCH was probably right about Insurance fraud being important in arson. One of the most important problems with all top down policy is the extent to which it will be misused and defrauded. On the front page of the DT today is the amount of benefits defrauded by couples pretending to live apart. The true figure is vastly more as the shadowy boyfriend does not have to be in situ. Key worker grants are routinely defrauded by exactly those who need them least. I know of two people who have financed a second home in France through the great generosity of the Taxpayer. New Labour are always ma king policy that is like a shiny path in a right angle and not seeing the grace path everyone will use. I blame this on disengagement with real life.

BTW Bye bye pro American Guy
Had a bevy with Lord Levy when the coffers were dry

Remember that!!They will I think be having a little lemon with their tea today  

Blogger Croydonian said... 10:56 am

N, purely for your own safety, I would like to draw your attention to a comment by PT a while back.  

Blogger Newmania said... 11:11 am

I think there is something in genetics re boxing. One grandfather was a British national champion,-Praguetory

Ah yes ....can`t punch me from Prague though can he ...can he ?  

Blogger Croydonian said... 11:12 am

He's in the mother country this week dude....  

Anonymous Anonymous said... 11:44 am

As a foot/high heel enthusiast i am all in favour of the resposible ownership and use of high heels by female members of the public.  

Blogger Croydonian said... 12:26 pm

An ex of mine categorises the more edgy footwear into three categories:

Follow me home boots.

Follow me home and fornicate with me boots.

Follow me home and fornicate with me and then pay for it boots.

The stiletto heel only dates to the 50s, by the way.  

Blogger Newmania said... 12:33 pm

But high heels are around in the 18th century  

Anonymous Anonymous said... 12:40 pm

Ankle straps are also a good detail, Im lucky that my fetish fits in with girlfriends'desire for shoes.
I have actrually made ex partner go back into the house and change footwear if i didnt approve of their choice.  

Blogger Newmania said... 12:44 pm

"Ex" partner.......  

Blogger Croydonian said... 12:45 pm

Yes, but they would have lacked the slenderness of a stiletto.

Meanwhile, in the interests of keeping the people informed, I have discovered that stiletto fetishism is more properly called altocalciphilia, and another click took me to the mysterious sounding katoptronophilia, which is mirror related paraphilia. The Wiki entry includes this small gem: "Katoptronophilia would seem to be a benign, non-controversial and basically harmless paraphilia. (However it is important if one lives in an earthquake zone like San Francisco to be sure to use Mylar rather than glass for mirrors on the ceiling.  

Blogger Croydonian said... 12:50 pm

N - To the extent that she has recently moved to the other hemisphere, although I do not think it was solely to get away from me.

PH - Sounds like a shoe fetishist is the best lover a woman could have, knowing quite how shoe focused so many women seem to be.  

Anonymous verity said... 1:42 pm

Stiletto heels are very comfortable. I don't know why and I don't have any theories, but they certainly are not a chore to wear or walk in. Maybe because the arch is so well supported. I don't know. True enough, women would wear them whether they were comfortable or not because they make anyone's calves look better, but they are comfortable.  

Anonymous verity said... 1:44 pm

PS - There's a devastating leader about Blair in The Telegraph today. I do not know how he can stay on after this. And the comments on it from the public are also full of contempt and loathing.  

Blogger Croydonian said... 2:02 pm

Blair going would round off a thoroughly good month, would it not?  

Blogger Newmania said... 2:05 pm

I `ve always had doubts about Verity .Blair`s introduced transparency over party funding and the Conservatives were doing same thing . When the little Scottish chap (from Barra) started it there was a big yawn and I see twerpy little Coppers making aname for themselves on a technicality.
To me it is not disimilair to the Standards Board for the Coucil. It uncovers conflicts of interest here and there but in the end what good is done .
We will end up with tax payer funded parties and that would be worse.

Or not? I suppose it was the promise to clear up Tory Sleaze years ago that makes forgiveness unlikely.The trick is to drag Broon in  

Anonymous verity said... 2:05 pm

Indeed it would. Instead, he is on something he is calling his "legacy tour". What the hell is that, even if he had a legacy other than sleaze, corruption and sordidness?  

Blogger Newmania said... 2:06 pm

...eeek not doubts about Verity !!1

Doubts about it (the cash for peerages scandal) comma , Verity.

Dear god let me be in time  

Blogger Croydonian said... 2:25 pm

If Broon is ensnared, I might well make haste to the local anglican church and offer up thanks.  

Anonymous Anonymous said... 2:27 pm

Verity we have to accept that the worm is insane , he was 10 years ago and is now more so.
Blair really believes that he has improved this country, "modernised " it.  

Anonymous Anonymous said... 2:28 pm

let me add, "modernised"
In the same way that dolts boarded over panelled doors and ripped out Adam fireplaces in the 1950/60's  

Anonymous verity said... 2:39 pm

PHitch - He is not just insane - that is clear enough - but he has such an air of malignancy enshrouding him. I sensed it 10 years ago, before he'd embarked on taking a wrecking ball to our Constitution, our Bill of Rights and our civil society. There was something unsettling about him that gave me the creeps. I would have been unable to shake his hand, even back then, before he had begun to demonstrate his capacity for wanton destructiveness.

I want to see him brought so low that even he can understand that he is being brought low. Just now, he is still self-adoring and still thinks that people admire and respect him. That's why he has thought up this clearly insane idea of a "legacy tour". What the bloody hell is that all about? First, he's a politician, not Judy Garland. Second, his legacy is sleaze, wanton destructiveness and disgrace. Why does he expect to be admired for it?

He's off his chump and always has been.  

Blogger Croydonian said... 2:48 pm

I still treasure the memory of him having a 'Ceausescu moment' at, of all things, a WI conference.  

Blogger Newmania said... 2:59 pm

Isn`t he appearing on Blue Peter ?  

Anonymous verity said... 3:04 pm

Yes, Croydonian. That is also etched into my brain, but his discomfort was only temporary, such is his titanium-cased ego. He'd have been over it by that evening.

I want him wounded and frightened.  

Anonymous verity said... 3:08 pm

Also, it wasn't quite Ceaucescuesque enough.  

Blogger Newmania said... 3:17 pm

Verity-I want him wounded and frightened..........
You are the Queen of Spleen Verity. Its the slight uncertainly as to whether you intend this metaphorically, I like.  

Blogger Croydonian said... 3:27 pm

Maybe he could try out for Jackanory, after all he has plenty of fiction he could relate.

A ferocious handbagging by doughty English womenfolk would have been rather good....  

Anonymous verity said... 3:38 pm

Yes,Croydonian. I did enjoy the increasing volume of the susurration, but it didn't go on long enough. Also, not enough people walked out. I would have preferred it if they'd all gone and left him up on the stage in an empty auditorium. That, I could have warmed to.

But it was a good start. Too bad there were no further such incidents for the next nine years.  

Anonymous David Allen said... 3:52 pm

C _ "I have a theory on shoes: few if any straight men have a footwear collection which runs into double figures including trainers, wellies etc, and outside of commune livers, try finding a woman with fewer than 10 pairs."
I've just done a quick count and made it 9 pairs in total (max-ing out my quota _ which to my eternal shame includes a pair of Beckham-inspired sandals which I have never dared to wear outside the house.
re. the WI, I doubt whether the redoubtable ladies would get the opportunity to savage the Great Liar again: I hear the WI has been taken over by the same crowd of paid-up Labour supporters who now infect nearly every other voluntary sector/ charitable organisation _ much to the fury of the dames of the shires....  

Anonymous verity said... 3:53 pm

BTW, someone with a complicated handle -2br0rb or something like that - over on Dale's points out with regard to the man who's been arrested for murdering those women in Ipswich, that the police interviewed him four times WITHOUT CAUTION before finally arresting him and interviewing him under caution.  

Anonymous Anonymous said... 3:59 pm

Sorry dave that makes you gay )+:
cant be helped  

Blogger Newmania said... 4:02 pm

It was the chap named in the Mirror V .

David that seems to go for the Church as well I went to a Carol Service yesterday in which Mary was mystifyingly referred to as a "Single mum awt on the street " several times

You couldn’t make it up . The sermon involved unwrapping a present which turned out to have nothing in it…”Cos that’s all crap isn’t it ?...” and the Lords paryerwas so unrecognisable it barely stopped short of “Our mate .. we reckon he’s a good bloke ..etc.”

I prayed for mercy , perhaps it worked  

Anonymous Anonymous said... 4:05 pm

Mr C I would love to see "our" verity giving him a slow handclap before setting her cats on him.
he will never be brought to book unless the current system collapses (not so improbable)  

Anonymous David Allen said... 4:10 pm

Newmania: Sorry to hear your foray into church went so badly. That's the problem with church-going these days: the damned clerics are all either a) aetiolated misogynists with swastikas discretely embroidered on their cassocks who make red-blooded poofs like me want to gag or b) nauseatingly blokish tossers from the Dave Spart seminary....  

Blogger Newmania said... 4:24 pm

aettiolated , Wassat? Something like attenuated ? You and your fancy words Mr. Allen. Typical...........  

Blogger Croydonian said... 4:32 pm

And I thought you were a literary type N

Main Entry: eti·o·late
Pronunciation: 'E-tE-&-"lAt
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): -lat·ed; -lat·ing
Etymology: French étioler
1 : to bleach and alter the natural development of (a green plant) by excluding sunlight
2 a : to make pale b : to deprive of natural vigor : make feeble
- eti·o·la·tion /"E-tE-&-'lA-sh&n/ noun  

Anonymous David Allen said... 4:33 pm

aetiolated _ pale/ blanched (or stunted due to a lack of light) _ with overtones of (moral)sickness due to being 'closeted' away from light/ fresh air, normal interaction....
I am thrilled to have enhanced the word power of so august a figure!  

Blogger Newmania said... 2:01 am

I suspect he meant defoliated  

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