Self-selecting survey corner, or the way the media works, part 432
Magazines everywhere long ago worked out that some of the cheapest copy going on can be sourced by asking their more neurotic readers to fill in a survey, thus filling a couple of pages in one issue, and then a whole lot more the next time round. And at the cost of a few e-mails with the findings to newspapers etc, lots of publicity.
(sigh)
Here's a classic example: Top Sante on women and food/diet.
It notes "More than 70% of women had seriously tried to diet in the last year and 58% had "disordered" eating patterns. Most of the 2,000 women questioned by Top Sante magazine were unhappy with their bodies and half had had cosmetic surgery, or would consider it".
Now self-selecting surveys have absolutely no statistical validity whatsoever, and if one takes any specialist interest magazine, one can make a pretty good guess at what the readership is like and project what their neuroses will be like. Thus a survey in What Car is unlikely to show huge enthusiasm for public transport, Heat readers probably don't curl up of a night with a book by Wittgenstein and readers of Saga probably don't rate death metal all that much.
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My dear sir
You overlook the fact that newspapers, magazines, and similar periodicals exist to make money for their proprietors. They do this, of course, by selling advertising space; but in order to encourage readers (a) to purchase said publications and (b) to turn the pages thereof, editorial material must also be inserted.
What could make better reading than the validation of one's own obsessions and neuroses?
One should always fill in these questionnaires with random answers, just as one should fill in consumer questionnaires with completely fictitious information. Market researchers in shopping precincts should also be sought out and fed misinformation. When asked my occupation, I often say: "Emperor of the Boreal Regions", or "'Pataphysician to His Majesty King Nigel the 14th", & the like; and have the great pleasure of watching them note this down on their clipboard.
I remain, sir,
Your faithful reader, &c.
A. de T.
I have much fun in the past by quibbling with clip board holders over socio-economic classifications too.
I suspect that 100 or so years hence, ancestor seekers will be led astray by the number of folk clainimg on census forms have been brain surgeons, although AdT's responses have the virtue of being rather more original.
Dear Mr Phone Cam Foolery
Thank you for your inquiry. I am related to His Grace only by marriage: my wife used to chew bread for his ducks.
I remain, sir,
Ever ready to answer polite questions, &c.
A. de T.
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