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What's in the yellow press

The News of the World has followed up on Portillo, and reckons he has been having a full blown afair with a rather attractive Magyar. As ever, the devil is in the detail - he bought her a Louis Vuitton bluse (I thought they only made accessories) and "he would pay for a room at the Sofitel hotel, south west of the capital". Sounds like an airport hotel to me - very classy.....

Can't see anything interesting in the Sunday Mirror or the People - just celebrity bilge. And Amanda Platell in the Mule doesn't like George Michael.


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Blogger phone cam foolery said... 12:25 pm

Sounds to me as if he has pulled an East European au pair , dazzled her with some dodgy market gear and offered to shag her in a travel lodge.
Typical cheapskate politician , no doubt if he were stil an MP the surrouding would have been a little more salubrious and somebody else would be picking up the tab.  

Blogger phone cam foolery said... 12:28 pm

Hasn't miguel got the most ridiculously short legs?
he looks like a snotty toulouse lautrec in chinos.  

Blogger Croydonian said... 12:47 pm

'a snotty toulouse lautrec in chinos'.

Quality PCF, quality. I do hope I can find an opportunity to use that put down myself.  

Anonymous Verity said... 1:11 pm

PFC - I can't say I've ever noticed his legs, but I will now!  

Blogger phone cam foolery said... 3:53 pm

Verity I have to hand credit where credit is due,
I hadn't noticed Portillos lack of legs until I read an article by the late great Auberon waugh,a man who could reduce me to tears of laughter with his writing (and made buying the Daily Telegraph worthwhile) who pointed out that the man had a "curiously low slung bottom"
So he does!
Most politicians are freakishly ugly,
Blair with those ears and teeth (and the wife)
Gordon Brown
Munchkin Ian McCartney
Robin Cook
Roy Hattersley
Anne widdecombe
The smirking Chimpanzee that is Bush.
The list is endless,
the situation is so bad that people like Cameron are held up as good looking and sexy.
A man who apparently gets David Blunkett to choose his cycling shorts and fills them with an arse so huge it would embarrass a hippopotamus.  

Blogger Croydonian said... 5:31 pm

Apparently English men are noted for that short legs / long trunk look (think Jagger) in France in particular.

Meanwhile, a rather amusing thread on on ugly candidates. Some of those mutants make the national figures named look like Errol Flynn or Grace Kelly.  

Blogger Professor D.C. Warmington said... 8:10 pm

Indeed. Not for nothing is politics called "showbiz for ugly people".

Mr PCF said: "the situation is so bad that people like Cameron are held up as good looking and sexy."

Palpably true. The same can be said of their sense of humour. At party conferences the "jokes" induce rapturous laughter in the faithful, yet leave the rest of us colder than a marble gravestone.

Never mind the cringeworthy singing which sometimes erupts. What is his name, that horrid little fair-haired creature once tipped at a future Tory PM? It escapes me. But not, alas, the memory of his tuneless solo and the witless lyric.  

Blogger phone cam foolery said... 8:12 pm

This weekend my mothers sisters irish partner informed us that my grandfather was probably a Dago, his father having the surname Nestor .
Apparently that is a name known to Galway folk as descendants of remnants of the spanish armada, probably explains his blue eyes and straight jet black hair, add that to the fact that his grandmother was a Phoenician jew and I may have to start burning crosses outside my own home.
It was bad enough being a BNP supporter knowing I am part jew but now it turns out out I am f******* Spaniard as well )+:  

Blogger Croydonian said... 8:22 pm

Curious - I read somewhere that the Spanish / Irish thing was an urban myth.  

Blogger Professor D.C. Warmington said... 8:46 pm

By no means, sir. My maternal grandfather was an Irish gentleman who, refusing to speak English or even Gaelic, insisted in conversing in Spanish, which he averred was the language of his ancestors. This caused a number of problems, leading to his eventual emigration to Spain: in which country he could also not be understood, for he spoke a dialect peculiar to the 16th Century. He thereupon travelled to polyglot London, which he found much to his taste.

It is a marvel that he ever managed to propose to my grandmother, but she was eccentric in other ways and may have been charmed by the Latin stubbornness of her beau.  

Anonymous Verity said... 9:09 pm

PCF - I think the ugliest thing about Blair is his eyes. The emptiness gives me chills.  

Blogger phone cam foolery said... 10:10 pm

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.  

Blogger phone cam foolery said... 10:20 pm

Same here Verity, looking into his eyes this weekend I sense he is in cornered rat mode (without the charm)
Croydonian, as I am lashed I cant put together a cogent argument for the whole Irish/spic thing, However, tomorrow I will,
that is after I recover from the shock of you not knowing (+:  

Blogger Croydonian said... 11:02 pm

Re the Spanish in Ireland, this chap is less than convinced about numbers, shall we say?

Although I would note that some of the Galicians regard themselves as Celts, and engage in sundry Celtic bunfights with the Cambrians, Hibernians, Caledonians, Cornish, Bretons and Manx. Not that Gallego seems to have much of a trace anything Celtic to it.  

Blogger Rigger Mortice said... 11:16 pm

you never quite know where this blog will take you which is one of it's charms.

I commiserate with PCF.It must be alarming to become a tardy,greasy bad lover overnight but these things happen.

On the plus side the garlic will keep the flies away from the house.

I say this with certainty because after discovering how Irish I was,I began to drink more,ate spuds like they were going out of fashion and walked around with a sense of guilt about all the tits I'd balanced in my life.

Best of luck with it El PCF


Blogger Rigger Mortice said... 11:19 pm

re portillo I'm reminded of that great question from Mrs Merton to Debbie McGee aka Mrs Paul Daniels

'what first attracted you to millionaire Paul Daniels?'  

Blogger Croydonian said... 11:26 pm

Olé begorrah, eh PCF?  

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