'Borrowed' from elsewhere
Found this in a b3ta.com thread called 'Letters they'll never read'. The author is someone called Chad. All I've done is blank the profanities at the end and fix a few typos:
"Dear Gordon Brown...
Look, I know it's been your dream to play at running the country and that your jug-eared friend said he'd let you have a go in much the same way that a kid with a new Playstation says he'll let his poorer mate come round to play it, but then refuses to give up the controller. I know you really, really, wanted to fulfil your egotistical power fantasies, presumably as a way of getting over the fact you were probably bullied through school and were the unfit wheezy kid that everyone picked on.
I understand that you thought letting the country’s finances be run by people whose expertise was based on their ability to wear a suit and lie convincingly was a good idea and that, presumably, you had some thought that meant lending money to those who couldn't afford to repay it in order to secure the votes of the underclasses who felt life was good as they ordered Plasma TVs they couldn't actually pay for was probably sound political thinking.
I understand that you think that spending more on a political witch-hunt over expenses than the expenses claimed had cost was sensible.
I understand that you thought that devolving the UK into petty squabbling factions was genius, despite the fact that Scotland is now a haven for public services that are funded out of the English Parliament (after all, if Scotland, Ireland and Wales are self-governing, then surely England should be, as well).
I understand that you think sending troops into battle with equipment that a boy scout would turn down and under-funding the compensation and treatment of the poor sods who are being blown apart is good fiscal probity, whilst awarding bonuses and medals to Labour civil servants who happen to pass over Afghanistan on a quick jolly is fine.
I understand that it's not fair that people say you're unelected because in the UK we elect the party, not the leader, despite the fact that you have changed the way the party manifesto is headed, thus negating the points on which your party gained power.
I understand you think it's fine to sling accusations of corruption at any competitors, whilst re-hiring and offering a peerage to a man who had to effectively flee the country to a quiet job in the EU over huge scandals over corruption.
I understand that it's not fair to criticise the fact you can't even be bothered to spell a soldier's name correctly in a letter when he has given his life for this country and that it's unfair to blame the fact you're blind in one eye and obviously care about no-one other than yourself.
I understand that you feel it is fine to create an atmosphere in your own cabinet where no-one would even tell you the building is on fire in case you attack them, where you can accept no personal responsibility for any decisions you have made that have gone wrong or which have been found out to be deliberately misleading or dishonest.
I understand this all, Mr Brown, because you are a [...]. I, and 90% of the British public, wouldn't [...] on your gums if your teeth were on fire. How can we trust the leadership of the country to a man whose long-term vision matches his monocular outlook on life? I'm surprised the helmet you wore when trying to look "down with the lads" visiting the troops in Basra didn't have a [...] bullseye on it - why, after all the poor [...]who have been shot, a sniper couldn't have hit you will remain a mystery to me. Presumably it's because you made a deal with the devil you soul-less slack-jawed, pious [...].
"Dear Gordon Brown...
Look, I know it's been your dream to play at running the country and that your jug-eared friend said he'd let you have a go in much the same way that a kid with a new Playstation says he'll let his poorer mate come round to play it, but then refuses to give up the controller. I know you really, really, wanted to fulfil your egotistical power fantasies, presumably as a way of getting over the fact you were probably bullied through school and were the unfit wheezy kid that everyone picked on.
I understand that you thought letting the country’s finances be run by people whose expertise was based on their ability to wear a suit and lie convincingly was a good idea and that, presumably, you had some thought that meant lending money to those who couldn't afford to repay it in order to secure the votes of the underclasses who felt life was good as they ordered Plasma TVs they couldn't actually pay for was probably sound political thinking.
I understand that you think that spending more on a political witch-hunt over expenses than the expenses claimed had cost was sensible.
I understand that you thought that devolving the UK into petty squabbling factions was genius, despite the fact that Scotland is now a haven for public services that are funded out of the English Parliament (after all, if Scotland, Ireland and Wales are self-governing, then surely England should be, as well).
I understand that you think sending troops into battle with equipment that a boy scout would turn down and under-funding the compensation and treatment of the poor sods who are being blown apart is good fiscal probity, whilst awarding bonuses and medals to Labour civil servants who happen to pass over Afghanistan on a quick jolly is fine.
I understand that it's not fair that people say you're unelected because in the UK we elect the party, not the leader, despite the fact that you have changed the way the party manifesto is headed, thus negating the points on which your party gained power.
I understand you think it's fine to sling accusations of corruption at any competitors, whilst re-hiring and offering a peerage to a man who had to effectively flee the country to a quiet job in the EU over huge scandals over corruption.
I understand that it's not fair to criticise the fact you can't even be bothered to spell a soldier's name correctly in a letter when he has given his life for this country and that it's unfair to blame the fact you're blind in one eye and obviously care about no-one other than yourself.
I understand that you feel it is fine to create an atmosphere in your own cabinet where no-one would even tell you the building is on fire in case you attack them, where you can accept no personal responsibility for any decisions you have made that have gone wrong or which have been found out to be deliberately misleading or dishonest.
I understand this all, Mr Brown, because you are a [...]. I, and 90% of the British public, wouldn't [...] on your gums if your teeth were on fire. How can we trust the leadership of the country to a man whose long-term vision matches his monocular outlook on life? I'm surprised the helmet you wore when trying to look "down with the lads" visiting the troops in Basra didn't have a [...] bullseye on it - why, after all the poor [...]who have been shot, a sniper couldn't have hit you will remain a mystery to me. Presumably it's because you made a deal with the devil you soul-less slack-jawed, pious [...].
Labels: The Worst Prime Minister Since Goderich
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