Chiswickite - formerly The Croydonian

In the face of overwhelming popular demand, it is back to 1909:

A 1909 Sir Richard Dannatt, as it were:

Mr. T. F. RICHARDS asked the Secretary of State for War whether his attention has been called to a speech made by Lieutenant-Colonel C. T. Mander, D. Squadron, Staffordshire Yeomanry, in which he complained of the Budget, and said that no drill hall or riding school would be provided until there was a new Government; and whether he intends taking any action in the matter?

The SECRETARY of STATE for WAR (Mr. Haldane) The Army Council have now considered and report that, in view of all the circumstances, and of the fact that the officer has expressed his regret for the indiscretion, they do not propose to take any further action beyond administering a severe reprimand.

A senior army officer with - dare I say it ? - Tory leanings?  I am shocked, shocked.

Chinese pork back on the menu.  Or perhaps not:

Mr. FELL asked the President of the Local Government Board if any further report has been received with regard to the condition of the Chinese pork now at the docks; how many further carcases have been examined; and how many, if any, have been condemned by the inspector?

The PRESIDENT of the LOCAL GOVERNMENT BOARD (Mr. J. Burns) I am informed that since 7th October, the date of the hon. Member's last question on this subject, 1,469 carcases have been examined, and of these 83 were condemned.

And how, pray, does one spot a Chinese porker?

Mr. FELL asked if the inspectors have reported if it is possible to distinguish Chinese pork, when exposed for sale, from English or Irish pork?

Mr. BURNS I do not think it would be possible to distinguish Chinese pork from English or Irish, except in its fresh and uncured condition, when the inspector might be able to say that the pork had been frozen, and, therefore, was probably not English or Irish.

Sounds reasonable.

Rum, sodomy and the lash:


Mr. BYLES  asked the First Lord of the Admiralty whether the Admiralty circular of 30th January, 1906, directing the suspension of the King's Regulations respecting the birching and caning of boys and youths in the Royal Navy, is still in force; and whether the use of the cat is now entirely abolished in His Majesty's ships?

Mr. McKENNA  No change has been made since my Noble Friend the late Parliamentary Secretary made his statements on this subject on 21st February and 1st March, 1906. The use of the cat has been suspended by Admiralty order since 1881.

Mr. BYLES Can it be renewed by Admiralty Order?

Mr. McKENNA  Yes; it can be renewed by Admiralty order, and I apprehend that my hon. Friend would take the earliest opportunity of drawing attention to that.

Readers with a naval background can thank their lucky stars...


Hurrah for our kin in the Antipodes:

Mr. ARTHUR LEE  (Still not the creator of 'Forever Changes) asked the First Lord of the Admiralty whether the large armoured vessels which have recently been offered as contributions to the British (sic) Navy by certain of the self-governing Colonies are in addition to, or included in, the eight large armoured vessels sanctioned by Parliament during the present Session?

Mr. McKENNA The large armoured vessels offered by the Australian and New Zealand Governments are not included in the eight armoured ships sanctioned by Parliament this Session?

Shouldn't that be the Royal Navy?

Oh the lot of PC Plod:

Mr. BOTTOMLEY asked the Secretary of State for the Home Department whether he is aware that it is the custom in many parts of the country for rate summonses to be served upon poor people by police officers in uniform; and whether he is in a position to take any step or make any representation with a view to abolishing this practice?

The SECRETARY of STATE for the HOME DEPARTMENT (Mr. H. Gladstone)  I believe it is usual for a police officer to wear a uniform when serving a summons. In so doing he is performing a duty as a constable, and it is convenient and right that he should wear a uniform which indicates his office.

Mr. BOTTOMLEY  Does not the right hon. Gentleman think that for an offence which is in no sense a criminal one a plain clothes' officer might be entrusted with the service of these rate summonses?

Mr. GLADSTONE It would be very inconvenient for the police-constable to have to change his clothes for the purpose.

(Let's have that great anecdote again:  (1) Bottomley was a noted fraudster and all round bad egg, but when spotted in prison poised with a needle over a mail sack and asked 'Sewing?' had the wit to reply, 'No, reaping').

Those suffragettes...

Mr. KEIR HARDIE asked the Secretary of State for the Home Department whether he has received the Report of the Commission sent to report upon the assault committed on a woman prisoner in Strange-ways Gaol, Manchester; and whether he can communicate its terms to the House?

Mr. GLADSTONE  I have received the Commissioner's Report, and its purport is briefly as follows:—While the Visiting Committee of Manchester Prison were present at the prison for one of their ordinary meetings Miss Davison (1) barricaded herself in her cell, and in spite of persuasion and command, refused to open the door. An attempt was made to break into the cell, but the Visiting Committee were afraid that the heavy wooden door, 2½ in thick and lined with sheet iron, might fall suddenly into the cell (as had recently Happened in a case in the male division of the prison), and might injure the prisoner, and they unanimously passed a resolution directing the officers of the prison to play the water hose into the cell in hope of compelling the prisoner to remove her barricade. The order was obeyed, and at first the water was played on to the ceiling. As that had no effect, it was subsequently turned on to the prisoner's shoulder for two or three minutes.  In the meantime the officers succeeded in removing one of the hinges and effected an entrance into the cell, and the prisoner was carried out. She was promptly taken in charge by the matron and the female warders, wrapped in blankets, removed to the hospital, and every necessary attention paid to her health....in my opinion, they were guilty of a grave error of judgment in the measures they adopted. I am communicating with them accordingly.

Mr. H. BELLOC May I ask what measures the Home Secretary would have suggested that would have been more merciful?

Refreshingly honest answer o' the day 

Mr. GLADSTONE  Parliament has not supplied me with much power in the matter.

I reckon this is Emily 'Epsom Derby' Davidson.

Unlikely protest o' the day, both in terms of protesters and venue. 

Mr. T. F. RICHARDS   asked the Home Secretary whether his attention has been drawn to a case at the Marlborough-street police court, on the 27th of October, where several members of the National Amalgamated Furnishing Trades' Association and the French Polishers' Society, who had been peacefully acting as pickets in connection with a dispute with the Orchestrelle Company, Bond-street, London, were fined 2s. 6d. each for obstruction; whether he is aware that the men, at the time of the alleged offence, were simply walking along in single file, and that they were stopped by the police and marched off to the police station; and whether he will favourably consider the remission of the fines inflicted and take steps to secure that the right of peaceful picketting shall be vindicated?

Mr. GLADSTONE The learned magistrate, after careful investigation, held that the defendants, eight in number, had caused actual obstruction by parading backwards and forwards over a space of about 19 yards of narrow and crowded footway.

Well, it would rather tangle with one's ability to max out the plastic, wouldn't it?  Wonder if they had the backing of, and placards of the SWP?

Unexpected combination o' the day:

Mr. YOUNGER asked the Under-Secretary of State for the Colonies whether anything has been decided as to the renewal of the subsidy for the Jamaica banana and mail contract; whether the whole of the elected representatives of the Legislative Council of Jamaica recently voted against its renewal; and whether it was only carried by the casting vote of the Governor?

OK, sharing a ship makes sense, up to a point, but why a combined contract? 


And today's koh-i-noor:

Croydon (Sanitary Condition).

Mr. WILLIAM THORNE asked the President of the Local Government Board whether he can say what number of cesspools now exist in the Croydon rural district area...also asked the President of the Local Government Board whether, in view of the seriousness of the menace to the public health of Croydon by the existence of cesspools in the Croydon rural district area, as stated in the reports of the medical officer of health for the borough and the borough engineer, he will request the Croydon Rural District Council to cause reports to be made to them by the medical officer of health, surveyor, or inspector of nuisances of the rural district on the question and the extent of the danger, so that the rural district council may take action.


Mr. BURNS It is estimated that there are 11,900 inhabited houses in the Croydon rural district, and that approximately 400 properties drain into cesspools. Of these, 270 are outside the areas in respect of which there is an agreement between the councils of the borough and of the rural district for the reception of the sewage into the sewers of the corporation, and these houses are stated to be for the most part in rural portions of the district, and at a considerable distance from an outfall sewer. In one parish, Woodmansterne (2), it is stated that there is urgent need for main drainage for about 90 houses near the boundary of Coulsdon which could be connected with the borough sewers, but this parish is outside the areas from which the corporation receive the sewage, and I am informed that they refuse to extend these areas except upon terms which the district council are unable to accept

(2 - where your humble narrator was born)


Temperance fanatics....

Sir WALTER MENZIES asked the Prime Minister whether he will grant facilities for the concluding stages of the Temperance (Scotland) Bill when the House resumes on 23rd November?


etc etc


The PRIME MINISTER Perhaps I may reply to both of these questions at the same time. The matter is under my consideration, and, in the event, of which I am hopeful, of our being able to give facilities for the Temperance (Scotland) Bill, ample notice will be given. I hope on Wednesday or Thursday to make a statement as to the business which we propose to take when we reassemble (on the 23rd) after the adjournment.


Mr. GEORGE YOUNGER(of the brewing family, I believe)  May I ask the right hon. Gentleman whether, in considering the propriety of giving facilities for the Temperance (Scotland) Bill he will bear in mind the changed conditions in respect of new licences, the effect of the minimum duty, and the result which the Chancellor of the Exchequer claims for temperance in Scotland owing to the new Spirit Duty?

Some detail on this odious sounding bill

It is a principle which is also recommended by the Minority Report of the Royal Commission. In an addendum, signed by the Archbishop of Canterbury and others, is the following:— "That the people in every part of the United Kingdom should have power by a substanted majority vote taken by the widest franchise in force, to prevent any premises being licensed to sell intoxicating liquors in their respective localities."

Odious indeed.  If you don't like pubs, don't go to them.

Labels: 1909, Parliament

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