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Not coming soon to a television near you. I hope

And if it is, head to the hills with the greatest of despatch:

"The 9th Energy Globe Awards for local environmental projects will be presented at a ceremony in [the EU's] Parliament's plenary chamber on 26 May, starting at 20.00".

And there's more:

"Projects from around the world promoting the use of clean and renewable energies will compete in five different categories: Earth, Fire, Water, Air and Youth". What, no 'wind'? I can't help but think that putting 'youth' on treadmills could both clean up our streets and provide energy.

The bunfight will be presented by the not uneasy on the eye Luxembourgeoise actress Désirée Nosbusch (careful with google image searches if at work or anywhere near a jealous spouse etc), and in possibly the worst act of parenting since Saturn, "Mikhail Gorbachev will receive a lifetime achievement award. Mr Gorbachev's daughter Irina Virganskaya will also attend".

Dionne Warwick must be rather down on her uppers, as she will be singing, along with Zucchero and Alanis 'I don't understand the word 'ironic'' Morrisette.

Possibly the most amusing part of the entire press release is this bit: "Parliament, Commission and Council presidents Hans-Gert Pöttering, José Manuel Barroso and Janez Janša are expected to present the awards". This suggests to me that all three would rather be watching paint dry.

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