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Petition o' the day

And, as ever, it is a corker:

"We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Restrict the size of umbrellas in central London".

And the gloss: "The unlimited size of umbrellas causes significant danger when walking the streets of many towns and cities. The crowd congession (sic) in central London makes the use of over-sized umbrellas unwelcome"

Has escalation from golf umbrellas ensured that folk now employ those 10' jobs used to protect pub goers from the elements, or has the petitioner been poked in the ear I wonder?

I like the implication that there would be some manner of border control for central London - perhaps coterminous with the congestion zone? - and the umbrella police would swoop should one cross from big umbrella territory to small umbrella territory. Would it be an offence to carry a large umbrella furled, or only unfurled? If the former, would it be confiscated permanently, or could it be left in a cloakroom, so to speak? How many people would be needed to police the checkpoints / cloak rooms, and what would they do when the weather is fine? So many questions unanswered......

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Blogger Ed said... 9:10 am

I think my plan to save London from nuclear attack which I devised at about age 5 could be recycled to solve this problem: build a big transparent dome over the whole of London. Then nobody need carry a brolly at all.  



Blogger Croydonian said... 9:16 am

Very public spirited of you to be thinking of such things when so young.

I think I was bit older when I suggested to Pa Croydonian that we could solve so many problems by levying a tax on Labour voting.  



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