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The coming Brown terror

Well, the coup d'etat has finally come to pass. I am not sure which is more nauseating - the fact of a coronation, or the constant grinning (aided by vaseline on the teeth, a la Miss World contestants?)

A shy and retiring nark from the wrong side of the River (thanks Justin) has e-mailed me an internal Labour party document called 'Introducing Gordon Brown as Prime Minister to your constituency', so time for a little Kremlinology.

"Gordon Brown has set out eight clear areas that he will focus on as Prime Minister, detailed on the next page.If you are thinking about getting in touch with these groups then it’s important to identify what this change of leadership and focus will mean to them and include that message in any letter you write to them":

Britain number one for education - I would imagine that this will be achieved by more grade inflation and declaring that it has been done rather than there being any serious attempt to outdo Singapore.

An NHS that earns the trust of patients and staff - 'Trust'. I see this as a code for making the nation feel guilty for any criticism of the behemoth. Note that the producers are well and truly back in the catbird seat.

More affordable housing - He could loosen up planning controls, but that is not going to happen. Further schemes targeting Labour voters key workers seem likely. Still, 'more' is a wonderfully loose term - just one more block of social housing will allow him to claim success.

Every child the best start in life - Nice grammar. Meaningless cant.

Stronger, safer, more cohesive communities - Don't you just love social engineering? How in the name of all that is holy can central government make 'more cohesive communities'? Probably by telling us that they become such. However, it also looks like a hint that he will not be doing too much kowtowing to whichever alphabet soup organisation claims to represent Muslim opinion this week. So that's good.

Tackling climate change - Let's not even go there

Better work-life balance - Code for more interference in our lives.

The challenge of terrorism and security - As if we were unaware of it.


The suggested form letter is an absolute toe curler, and I do not doubt that there will be folk who forget to change this bit: "I wanted to get in touch with you to tell you a little more about Gordon Brown, our new Prime Minister and what this change of leadership will mean for our community here in <>"

And it continues, "I’ve known Gordon well for many years and it has been a pleasure working with him down at Westminster. I am proud that I supported Gordon to become Prime Minister because I know that he offers a new government with new priorities". I doubt that the Lord Protector would recognise most of his bank benchers. Might be worth checking future mail outs associated with the Brown refuseniks. And some more mangling, "Gordon’s visits across the country and talking with myself and other MPs have confirmed that there are new challenges today.."

There's much more of the same, detailing letters to local papers, recruitment drives and so forth, but I think I've suffered enough.

And while I'm at it, some thoughts on any spavined donkeys grandees from other parties tempted to shelter in Broon's big tent: 'Damn your principles, stick to your party'. Note also that if Brown were to win a mandate, said grandees would be out of his cabinet quicker than you could say 'opportunism'.

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Blogger Guthrum said... 10:10 am

Beneficiaries of Palace Coups should not be encouraged to succeed, my answer to any of the 'State is Good' Lord Protector's proposals is where is your mandate to govern this country ? It has not sprung from the will of the people, it has been conferred on him by the Queen, who on my last checking, also has no electoral mandate.  



Anonymous Nomad said... 11:10 am

Straight from the PR Dept out-tray. Change the names and it could have been written by Dave himself.

When is the revolution due to start?  



Blogger Croydonian said... 11:18 am

G - Can't say I'm keen either.

Nomad - at the same time as all revolutions: at closing time.  



Anonymous Nomad said... 11:46 am

Calamity! Somebody has nicked my pitchfork!!  



Blogger hatfield girl said... 12:10 pm

He's setting up a Ministry for Children; The Oblation Board?  



Blogger istanbultory said... 4:48 pm

Notable that Gordo has appointed young Miliband to the office of Foreign Secretary....all the better to keep him out of Whitehall and the Commons. The FO bureaucracy runs the show all by itself,politicians are side lined,and the job is usually the graveyard of wannabe PMs. In (rare)times of foreign policy success, the PM grabs the glory, in times of failure the Foreign Secretary gets covered with dishonour. There was a time, not so long ago, when young David M. was being touted as a serious leadership contender by the Blairite faithful.Gordo won't be forgetting it.And we all know how long GB can bear a grudge...Miliband should have turned the FS job down.  



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