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Headline o' the day

Maybe even of the week:

"Bradshaw hails new EU chicken welfare rules".

Alas this is not the Bradshaw of railway timetable renown, nor the Bradshaw who passed the death sentence on King Charles, or even the town of that name in Nebraska, but the rather uninteresting minister for animal welfare, Ben Bradshaw.

Apparently said EU rules are

an unprecedented step, ensuring that this major sector has for the first time a set of strict rules to adhere to".

Unprecedented in what context Benjamin? Has neither government nor supranational authority ever acted over anything ever prior to this handing down of the tablets of the law? Were previous rules enforced with insufficiently draconian sanctions?

The welfare of meat chickens is a major concern to people throughout the European Union.

Indeed. The talk in Croydon is of little else. I believe it was Sarkozy's stance on poultry that made all the difference on Sunday. Whereas for those fiendish non-EU Switzers and Norwegians, torturing chickens is the highlight of the week.

"This agreement sends a strong message to the rest of the world that we care about animal welfare".

And I am sure that my perusal of the international news sites tomorrow will bear out your ambition Benjy. How shamed they will be from Almaty to Zanzibar that they love their chickens less than we do.

"Ben Bradshaw added that the UK successfully fought - supported by Sweden, Denmark and other welfare-minded countries - against a further watering down of the proposals led by France".

Boo hiss. I can just picture Johnny Frenchman twirling his pantomime villain's moustache while intent on poultry worrying and the like. And why do only three countries get mentioned, one wonders? Could it be that press releases about chickens are really a way of letting foreign governments know who is on the enemies list at the Foreign Office?

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Blogger Andrew Allison. A Conservative View said... 2:31 pm

The lengths ministers will go to avoid mentioning recent elections.  

Blogger Newmania said... 4:12 pm

I noticed this chap recently . Animal Welfare ..it needs a whole ministry ?  

Blogger Croydonian said... 4:16 pm

You do have to wonder. Mind you, if more ministers could be persuaded to spend their time bunny hugging, literally or perhaps metaphorically rather than signing fatuous press releases written as a dare (?) by their press officers, this Sceptered Isle might be a better place.  

Blogger The Hitch said... 7:48 pm

poule the other one

im depressed cant do any better  

Blogger james higham said... 7:57 pm

Chicken welfare is pretty important. Oh hell, I forgot to cut the chook up in the fridge. Have to go.  

Blogger Croydonian said... 8:09 pm

Henyone think they can outdo Hitch?>  

Anonymous Flavious said... 11:20 pm

I'd try, but I'm in a fowl temper and just end up with egg on my face.  

Anonymous Nomad said... 4:35 am

Does this directive, or whatever it is, also apply to turkeys? If so Bernie Matthews and his Hungarian mates need to be told pdq.

(Sings: Pickin' a chicken with you, tra la la - although I suspect that only older members of this community will recall that jolly hockey sticks ditty from the late 1950s!)  

Blogger Alan Douglas said... 6:07 am

Bradshaw ? Chickens ? This, one of my favourite poems, was written about 100 years ago:

The Cockerel

In the station hall,
not built for him,
a cockerel struts
up and down ...
Where is the station-master ?
Will no one harm the cockerel ?
Let us hope so ! Say
it loud and clear:
that our sympathies to him belong,
even in this place
where he does not

Christian Morgenstern
translated from the original German

Alan Douglas  

Blogger Croydonian said... 8:04 am

Thank you for the contributions. Splendid stuff.  

Anonymous this guy (hemophobe) said... 9:24 am

Christian Morgenstern! Excellent! Auf seinen Nasen schreitet einher das Nasobem!

Re Ben Bradshaw not being very intrestin' - he is if you're Peter Tatchell.  

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