<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d14058325\x26blogName\x3dChiswickite++-+formerly+The+Croydonian\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLUE\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://croydonian.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_GB\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://croydonian.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d2605630255414466250', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

Need an excuse?

The frequently brilliant Jeff Randall has a cracking column in the Telegraph
on handy excuses going beyond the old 'the dog ate my homework'.

Well worth reading in full, although those pressed for time might marvel at "My copy was late because one of my colleague's extended metaphors caused a tailback on the information super-highway" and "I bought blinkers to avoid watching the World Cup and couldn't see the clock."

There are also some - astonishing - real world examples: "Excuses for corporate under-performance often assume a level of investor credulity that would make even Little Red Riding Hood seem sceptical. The Essex furniture company that blamed disappointing sofa sales on the death of the Princess of Wales was a classic. Paul Worsely submits a similar cracker. He quotes John Wrigglesworth of Hometrack, the online real-estate consultancy, who came up with: "The forthcoming election, a change of Pope and a newly married heir to the throne have done nothing to improve the [property] market."

Labels:

« Home | Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »

Blogger Political Teenager said... 10:52 am

I knew someone who would regularly bunk lessons. When asked where he was he would always answer in a hushed voice that he was in the toilets with explosive diahorrea. No Questions Asked. Worked everytime.  



Blogger Croydonian said... 11:00 am

I've suggested '24 hour projectile leprosy' to malingering friends. Not original but I can't recall where I saw it.

There are some crackers in this thread at B3ta about sickie excuses.
Fair warnings department, much of the content will not be safe for work etc.  



Anonymous ajh said... 5:46 pm

Just read the tread, great stuff.

I always say to workmates and bosses I have a large elderly family spread round different countries (this is quite true, always be sure to make excuses convincing enough to pass scruntiny).

Then, suddenly, you have to go to seriously ill relatives bedsides and maybe a funeral. Sounds morbid, no one checks it, no personal injury or illnesss involved...  



» Post a Comment