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The Scots. I am beginning to worry about them

The Scotsman has been surveying Caledonians on their attitudes to lurve and so forth, and it has come up with some very, very alarming figures:

"Which celebrity most closely resembles your ideal man?"

Gordon Brown - I like powerful men - 1.8%

"Which celebrity most closely resembles your ideal woman?"

Cherie Blair - powerful women do it for me - 0.9%

Based on the current population, that suggests that a truly alarming 2,218 chaps have the hots for La Booth, and a scarcely less credible 4,764 lassies are pining for the Dour One.

Broon's is more popular in his Fife backyard - 3.3% fancy him. But no-one in the Kingdom of Fife will admit to carrying a torch for letterbox gob Mrs Tony. Should Tone & Cherie split up, she should hasten to the Lothians or Strathclyde, where she will have a better than 1 in 50 chance of being chatted up. Apparently. Mr Valiant for Truth (in *his* estimation) would be most likely to get lucky on Tayside (5.9) or in the Highlands (5.6).

Meanwhile, all hail the sensible folk of the Borders and of Grampian, where neither GB nor CB got a look in.

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Blogger Novlangue said... 9:30 am

Hoo d'ye ken that it's naw the gays that fancies Mr Broon?

Rob Roy McGregor  

Blogger Novlangue said... 9:39 am

Still on the subject of romance, a Marina Devlin (no relation?) in the Irish Indy has an article on What does Carla see in Sharko?

Erm - he's in charge of the world's 5th economy? Agreeable palace to live in? Agreable trips abroad? (Animal in bed?)

Mervyn King  

Blogger Novlangue said... 9:47 am

Hallo. Little me again.

Anyone but Ken - last article September?! Surely shome mishtake?

L. Jasper  

Anonymous nomad said... 2:45 pm

I suppose this really depends on to whom you put the questions. In the words of the song: The deaf, dumb and blind kid sure plays a mean pin-ball...  

Anonymous Anonymous said... 9:44 pm

Have you considered a back, sack and crack? Might go down very well with la belle Cherie and put you in front of all those Scots in the queue should she come on the market???  

Anonymous Anonymous said... 9:50 pm

all i can say that anonymous before me it talking bollocks! BOLLOCKS!!!!!  

Anonymous Anonymous said... 9:51 pm

-has a slight speech impediment-

it means IS  

Anonymous Anonymous said... 12:50 am

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Had seen this elsewhere and was really, really, worried, nay, terrified even. To my great relief, I now find that they had missed out the crucial bit at the end.....

An Aberdonian, I can lift my head up high again

FWIW, when we do have proper border controls, we sensible ones will make sure that people like GB, JR, AD, Gorbals Mick et al don't get out. Unfortunately for you though, we won't be letting CB in either.  

Blogger Croydonian said... 8:13 am

Happy to have been of service.  

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