Chiswickite - formerly The Croydonian

And my new blog is called.....

2011-02-03T11:56:00.001Z

Closed beta testing having seen my new blog name getting the thumbs up - thanks Dizzy, Blue Eyes and Catherine - I now declare my new blog open.

It can be found here - http://quizzicalgaze.blogspot.com/ . I think that the name is fairly suggestive of content and it has three zeds in it, which is really rather fine.

Any readers linking, subscribing or reading Croydonian should change their links, as I am closing the blog. I will not be posting here again, and I will switch off the ability to make comments. Thank you readers from 2006 to date, especially those who checked in of late to see whether I was ever going to post again, in particular these fine folk - in alphabetical order - All Seeing Eye, Capitalists@work, JuliaM and Lakelander.

I intend to post on the same sorts of thing as before, and the dropping of the name does not indicate that there is anything amiss in Chiswick or my life more broadly - very far from it, more that the url and the croydonian name appearing on my posts and comments is both inappropriate and anachronistic.

Coming soon - a new name, and a lot more blogging

2011-02-01T14:29:00.001Z

I have decided to start afresh under a new, and non-geographical name. I landgrabbed a name on blogger yesterday and currently have it in closed ~~alpha~~, erm, beta testing - as in I say 'I'm calling my new blog [x], what do you think?' Old friends should feel free to e-mail me for the prospective name. I would note that is is astonishing quite how many great names have been taken by folk who posted once, five years ago. I am not altogether decided as to whether I'll use blogger or wordpress, which is another reason for not making too much noise about the name.

If feedback continues to be positive, I'll use the new name, and will continue along the same lines as before. This blog will then be closed to comments and have a final re-direction post.

Meanwhile, this little hissy fit from the NASUWT :

"Responding to the statement by Michael Gove, Secretary of State for Education, that he will stop Ofsted from inspecting the contents of children’s lunchboxes, Chris Keates, General Secretary of the NASUWT, the largest teachers’ Union, said:

“This is a blatant attempt to distract the public.

“Whilst encouraging people to think about whether Ofsted should inspect lunchboxes, the Secretary of State is pushing through Parliament a Bill that will allow his favoured academies to charge whatever they like for milk, school meals and refreshments.

“Children’s health and nutrition is clearly a low priority when compared with enabling privatised schools to profiteer.

“This is yet another barrier for some families to admission to these elitist institutions.”

Being a picky eater, I went in for packed lunches at secondary school, and would not have allowed an inspector anywhere near what I was eating. Probably by wolfing it at break, rather than by taking a Luther-like stand, I hasten to add. I rather approve of both of the Govemeister's schemes, by the way.

Keeping an eye on the French, so you don't have to.

2011-01-27T12:06:00.000Z

See, I'm not dead. Anyway, I think a French survey round up is called for:

Humanité (the Communist Party daily, not the species) has asked the Plain People of France how they view the prospect of doing away with the maximum 35 hour working week,and the results show limited cause for faith in the youth (-ish) of France -46% of 18-24 year olds think it a good idea. Granted, a majority oppose it, but the pro figure is higher than for any age group bar the 50+ cohort. This would suggest that younger folk have made the connection between the difficulties in joining the workforce and the rigid laws surrounding employment on the other side of the Channel.

However, outbreaks of common sense in those parts are invariably matched by something that deadens the soul, like this from ifop:

'Do you think that capitalism and the free market is a system that...'

-Functions well and should be kept

-Has its problems but there is no alternative

-Functions badly and should be replaced

The French gave the first option 15%. Yes,15%. And 33% opt for Year Zero, with the rest hedging their bets. Note that option one secured 65% support in the 'People's Republic' of China. We managed 45%/45%/10%, which is also quite encouraging.

A poll on French attitudes to the SNCF provides the opportunity for a joke so obvious that as yet undiscovered civilisations in other galaxies can see it coming:

'Do you think that SNCF are keeping to timetables better?'

We have voting demographics to hand, so place your bets for the joke...

And, yes, it is the Front National which is among the least impressed with punctuality at 14%. Perhaps they have in mind an Italian template that could be followed.

Elsewhere, Dominique Strauss Kahn is the runaway leader among possible Socialist candidates for the presidency at 37% to 26% for my old mucker Segolene Royale, and Lille looks likely to suffer Martine Aubry longer (16%). Perhaps Martine should hire an assassin, as a DSK-less list has her top of the tree at 32% to Sego's 31%. Cutting to the chase, Sarko would beat anyone except DSK in round one. Round two would see Sarko lose - badly - to DSK, Aubry or even Francois Hollande. Sarko Vs Royal, round 2 shows as a tie at 50% each.

The things you can pack into a minute....

2010-10-04T16:21:00.000Z

Spotted this on a cinema site and thought it deserved a narrower audience:

"The Royal Opera and The Royal Ballet come together in a special journey from a snowy Ukrainian picture-book village to the imperial splendour of the court of Catherine the Great. Vakula, the son of the witch Solokha, attempts to woo and win the beautiful but fickle Oxana. It seems hopeless, but when the Devil, a witch, forest sprites and a host of colourful characters are involved, he could be lucky after all! Tchaikovsky's music is packed with showpiece solos, dances and choruses: from grand polonaise to haunting chorus of water sprites to rustic revels – and there's a true Russian flavour with Alexander Polianichko as conductor and several star Russian singers".

Shades of the Monty Python 'Summarize Proust' sketch:

Why Labour has chosen the right Miliband

2010-09-30T08:49:00.000Z

No Labour party leader with an unabbreviated first name has won a general election since 1974 - Harold Wilson. Since then, Mr Tony succeeded in '97, 2001 and 2005 while Michael, Neil, John and Gordon have all failed. Jim presents a bit of a problem, but I'm sidestepping that.

I suppose that Balls or Burnham would have been in with a shout come 2015 too, while Ms Abbott would have joined the long list of losers too.

Taking it too literally?

2010-09-15T12:56:00.001Z

Spotted while out and about....

When censors cannot agree, or 'you're gonna need a bigger boat'.

2010-09-03T16:28:00.000Z

Spotted this earlier, and thought it might amuse:

Feel free to exercise a prejudice for or against our lot or our Hibernian chums.

Headline o' the day

2010-08-26T08:55:00.001Z

As spotted and tweeted by Ed West at the 'graph, and I'm taking it to a narrower audience as A - it is amusing, and B - proof that I still live and breathe:

Unlikely to be coming to a cinema near you...

2010-07-27T13:59:00.000Z

After something of a hiatus, say hello to the absurdities of the EU's attempts to get into the movies, so to speak:

"Akadimia Platonos, Die Fremde and Illégal were the three films shortlisted on Tuesday for the European Parliament's 2010 LUX film prize, during an event at the Venice International Film Festival. Like past LUX Prize contenders, these films speak to Europeans' hearts and identities, forcing us to ask ourselves about our cultural and family relations, and the rules by which we live....
As with previous winners the 2010 LUX Prize winning film will receive European Parliament financial support for subtitling the film into all the 23 official languages of the European Union (EU), (So it will be inflicted on the Maltese, inter alia. C) an adaptation of the original version for the visually- or hearing-impaired, and the production of a 35 mm print per EU member state.

And the synopses of the three. I am *NOT* making these up.

Akadimia Platonos (Plato's Academy)

Every day Stavros raises the metal shutters of his cigarette store, puts out the newspapers in front and then sets out the chairs where he and his friends sit all day, looking out on the dusty intersection and surrounding grey buildings that shelter their businesses. They’re all very proud of the way their dog Patriot, on the opposite pavement, barks at every passing Albanian. Stavros and his friends don’t like these foreigners even though they’re willing to do the jobs the Greeks won’t do, nor do they like the recently arrived Chinese. By the store’s entrance, Stavros’ increasingly senile mother mopes in an armchair, regardless of the affectionate care lavished on her by her devoted son. Then one day she suddenly falls upon an Albanian worker, embracing him and calling him «my son» in Albanian. In fact, what does Stavros really know about his parents? His mother has always told him that after his father died up north, she moved to Athens, when he was but a year old. Now Stavros’ pals start looking askance at him: is he Greek or Albanian? Does he really have the right to sing the racist little ditty: «Albanian, Albanian, you’ll never become a Greek…»?

And there's more...

Die Fremde (When we leave)
What would you sacrifice for your family’s love? Your values? Your freedom? Your independence? German-born Umay flees her oppressive marriage in Istanbul, taking her young son Cem with her. She is hoping to find a better life with her family in Berlin, but her unexpected arrival creates intense conflict. Her family is trapped in their conventions, torn between their love for her and the values of their community. Ultimately they decide to return Cem to his father in Turkey. To keep her son, Umay is forced to move again. She finds the inner strength to build a new life for her and Cem, but her need for her family’s love drives her to a series of ill-fated attempts at reconciliation. What Umay doesn’t realize is just how deep the wounds have gone and how dangerous her struggle for self- determination has become.

And yet more:

Illégal

Tania and her 14 year-old son Ivan are illegal immigrants from Russia, who have been living in Belgium for 8 years. In a permanent state of alert, Tania lives in constant fear of having her identity checked by the police - until the day she is arrested. Mother and the son are separated. Tania is placed in a holding centre. She does everything in her power to find her son again, in spite of the constant threat of deportation hanging over her head.

Each of the directors has worked out on which side of the bread lies the butter, and seem to have got their Sally Field-type speeches in early

Akadimia Platonos director Filippos Tsitos - "Making small, independent, non-English speaking movies nowadays can be compared to swimming in a wild ocean at night. You constantly feel like you are about to drown. So you are thankful for anything that helps you stay out of the water.”

To which one might rebut that it is a bit selfish to expect the coastguard to shadow one's nocturnal swimming excursions...

Die Fremde director Feo Aladag "We would like to address our very special thanks to the European Parliament for promoting European films in order to make them cross borders and travel around Europe through the LUX Prize, to reach a widespread audience and to promote diversity, solidarity and hope in our societies."

'Widespread', eh Feo? Don't count on it.

Illégal director Olivier Masset-Depasse: “I hope to create as wide a debate as possible across Europe. The LUX Prize would be an excellent starting point as wide a dissemination of this film as possible.”

Claiming to want to 'start a debate' etc is, I think, invariably a lie. What it actually means is, 'I want you to agree with me'.

A bit of a Hansard trawl, with chief's wages, guns and 'objectionable foreigners'

2010-07-23T14:39:00.000Z

I've been ill-ish, hence silence of late.

Anyway, this from the 'autre temps, autre moeurs, 1910' dept file:

Mr. COURTHOPE asked the Secretary of State for War whether he is yet in a position to provide rifle clubs with ammunition, either free or at cheap rates; and whether he is aware of the provision of ammunition made to rifle clubs by the Governments of Canada and Australia?

Mr. HALDANE The reply to the first part of the question is in the negative. As regards the second part of the question, I am aware of the grants made to rifle clubs by the Governments of Canada and Australia, but it must be remembered that in Canada members of rifle associations become members of the Militia in case of emergency and that in Australia rifle clubs are portion of the reserve forces and active members of clubs are liable for service.

Yes, it's naked special pleading, but having a few good shots around is not a bad idea. Come to think of it, maybe allowing folk to own firearms now might be an idea....

Sticking with firearms:

Mr. COURTHOPE asked the Secretary of State for War what results have been achieved by the prohibition of the use of slings by a soldier firing his musketry course and in the musketry instruction of a recruit; and whether he will remove this prohibition in the interests of the efficiency of the soldier?

Mr. HALDANE The prohibition of the use of slings has resulted in a great improvement in the general efficiency of the soldier under war conditions, and it would not therefore be in the interests of efficiency to reintroduce it.

Erm, lost me there. I thought muskeys went out with square wheels too.

Away from firearms, and on to the Friendly Giant to the North:

Mr. J. THOMAS asked the Under-Secretary of State for the Colonies whether he is aware that Harry Pemberton, a native of Derby, left England on 13th May, with a party of fourteen other persons to start work obtained for him by his sister, who was already in Canada, and, on arrival at Quebec, the whole party was detained and kept in a detention hospital and herded with objectionable foreigners, and eventually sent back to England without being allowed to write to his friends, and, having regard to the fact that his mother, who is a widow, had to bear the whole expense, whether he will take action so as to prevent similar experiences to English immigrants, and give some redress in this case?

Let a thousand swords be drawn from scabbards to avenge this wrong, or...

Colonel SEELY The attention of the Secretary of State has not been called to the particular case mentioned, but, as I stated in reply to a similar question on 12th July, he is prepared to communicate with the Canadian Government. Inquiry shall accordingly be made with regard to this case.

Leaping forward 50 years, we have this winner:

Mr. Brockway asked the Minister of State for Commonwealth Relations, if he will state the names of the Chiefs or Sub-Chiefs in the three High Commission Territories who are receiving salaries from the Governments of their territories for administrative and other services, and the amounts of these salaries.

Mr. Alport The only Chiefs or Sub-Chiefs in the High Commission Territories who receive salaries from Government are the Paramount Chief and the 22 Principal and Ward Chiefs in Basutoland. The Paramount Chief receives an annual salary of£3,600. The names and annual salaries of 21 of the 22 Principal and Ward Chiefs (one Ward Chief has not yet been gazetted) are as follows:...

[Chief Mamohato Bereng was pulling in the top wedge at £1,238, whereas his impecunious (?) brother chief Chief Tumane Matela was getting £130)

The Chairman and the four members of the Standing Committee of the College of Chiefs in Basutoland receive respectively honoraria of £1,000 and £600 each.

A much bigger Switzerland?

2010-07-16T15:27:00.000Z

This, from Le Matin, taken in turn from Weltwoche:

The majority of the French, Germans, Austrians and Italians living in regions bordering [Switzerland] would like to be integrated into Switzerland. Weltwoche questioned 1,791 people living in Savoy / Upper Savoy, Baden-Wurtemburg, Voralberg and Como/Varese....More than half (52%) of the Austrian and Italian neighbors are find the idea of secession appealing. In France and Germany, this proportion is only slightly lower (48%).

Rather annoyingly, I cannot lay hands on a map of European regions to which I could then add dotted lines to for this purpose.

Vorarlberg would add 1000 sq miles and 373,000 people, Baden-Wurttemburg 13,800 sq miles and 10.7 million people, the two Savoys 4,021 square miles and 1.1 million people and Como Varese 960 square miles and 1.4 million people.

This would more than double the size of Switzerland from 15,940 square miles to 35,721 and its population would climb from 7.8 million to 21 million.

Having been to Geneva, I can vouch for CH being very clean etc, but fun it ain't.

Factlet o' the day

2010-07-16T13:54:00.000Z

From a 1960 debate, or rather an orgy of backslapping, on Nigerian independence:

Fenner Brockway "Today we are deciding that half the population in the British Empire shall have the right of self-government and independence. If I had been speaking thirteen years ago, before the right of India to independence was recognised, I would have had to say that there were over 500 million people in the British Empire without the right to self-government and independence. Today that number has been reduced to 70 million, and on this occasion by carrying this Bill we shall be reducing the number to 35 million".

Mildly interesting, no?

And because this is too good not to include:

Sir Kenneth Pickthorn (Carlton) I never eat breakfast, so I hope that I shall not speak for long, but I make no kind of promise....I speak here, not that I think that I can raise the scale of the occasion. Indeed, it is extremely difficult—it is like swimming in a swimming-bath with only half an inch of water left in it—to speak at this stage on a Friday debate, and especially at a quarter-past one, when one has not eaten anything since half-past eight the night before.

Thanks for keeping us posted on your dietary habits, Ken. There's a photo of him at the NPG's site, looking reasonably well fed, if a little awkward, here.

All mockery aside, he makes some very worthwhile points further on:

"And I am not at all so sure about "human rights." I do not know enough about Nigeria and the Nigerian Constitution to know its special case, but I did not want it to be thought that silence meant that every one here present is sure that declarations of human rights are great things. I suppose that human rights have been better defined and better protected in the history of the world, so far as any of us know, by the two great legal systems; by the Roman law and common law. They did not—and much less did the common law even than Roman law—go in for definitions of human rights. On this occasion it may be a very good thing, but I would not have it thought that we all of us assume that declarations of human rights are always a very good thing.

Naturally, I do not feel so sure about planned economy as some hon. Members opposite; but not altogether for the reasons which they might suppose. As a kind of West Indian, when I think of the benefits conferred on West Africa by the planned taking of cocoa there, I can remember what happened to Grenada, too, at the other end. Even at the West African end, there have been cocoa growers who have thought that the planned economy enabled the Government to squeeze out of them what ought to have been their profits to an extent to which private enterprise has never squeezed any agricultural producers. They may have been right or wrong, but certainly a great many cocoa producers felt that."

Maybe a 1910 trawl later. We'll see.

A little light showing off

2010-07-15T11:40:00.000Z

I have discovered a web app which analyses one's prose style and then matches it to a noted writer.

Therefore, I am delighted to declare that when I tried out my hospital post on it, the app was perspicacious enough to recognise that I write like Charles Dickens.

Have a go here, and feel free to post any amusing results in the comments.

What are the British afraid of this week? I have the answers

2010-07-14T13:58:00.001Z

I have before me Eurobarometer research on attitudes to electromagnetic fields, and the extended data set asks about things that might affect one's health, and number one - with a bullet - is 'chemicals', with some 83% deeming them a threat to health. Well, indeed, I would not want to be inhaling deeply near a vat of battery acid, but it does seem a rather vague thing to be anxious about. At the other end of the scale, some 41% are concerned about household electrical equipment. Over-exposure to certain journalists on the Today programme hoiks my blood pressure and I've tripped over power leads before, but I cannot say I lay awake fearing the Rise of the Machines.

Anyway, the full UK findings:

Meanwhile, there is a rather good Woody Allen sketch on misbehaving electricals:

(No visuals, alas, but it doesn't need them)

Yet another reason to use Firefox

2010-07-13T09:17:00.000Z

Or Chrome, or Opera etc etc, as demonstrated here.

Waiting for Godot. Ish.

2010-07-09T14:17:00.000Z

A couple of months back I blogged about my fun and games with NHS waiting lists, and noted mt scepticism about my 8/7 apppointment being kept.

Well, credit where it is due etc etc, the appointment stood, and I had my minor surgical procedure yesterday. I have a certain hostility to the medical business and tend towards hair-trigger sensitivity to being patronised, treated as a mouth-breather or whatever, for which the GPs of my youth have a lot to answer for (in my reckoning at least...). Anyway, the registrars, surgeons etc looked me in the eye, treated me as a sentient adult etc etc and if the story had ended post-operation, all would have been cool and groovy. Plus the registrar admired my yellow socks - clearly a woman of taste and discernment.

However, having been cut up, patched up and discharged, I had 'paperwork' to wait for. I was left swinging in the wind for 45 mins while the registrar's notes and a form letter were collated. I would have been quite happy to have had this sent by post, but I don't suppose it occured to the support staff that folk have better things to do than sit in a waiting room and wait....

The long overdue round up of recent odd French surveys

2010-07-06T12:48:00.000Z

First up, who do they blame for their, ahem, World Cup debacle:

Among the French overall, the finger is pointed at the players - 35%, then the manager (32%) and then the equivalent of the FA (24%). Nine per cent either knew not or cared not. Among those claiming interest in le foot, the figures were 30%, 37%, 28% and 5%.

That French surveys routinely include a detailed demographic breakdown is again making me glad to be alive, as those most likely to blame the players are extreme left voters, at 42%. Shome mishtake, shurely? What with the players being the toiling masses in this instance.... Also amusing is that Frontistes are the least likely to blame the players - 23% - nothwithstanding J-MLeP making odious comments about non-white players a few years back. Liberals are the most likely to blame the manager. In all of these instances, the numbers are low, not that I was ever going to let that stop me.

Geographically, easterners take most against the players, Mediterraneans against the manager and south westerners against the FFF. The survey also asked what the Plain People of France thought of the various players, and Thierry Henry and Nicolas Anelka saw a majority wanting them to play no further role for Les Bleus. Running true to form, Frontistes were the most anti the black players and Greens were the most likely to not know / not care.

And there's more. Closer's French edition (which should be called 'Plus Proche', or better still, 'Fermeur') has been asking some spectacularly impertinent questions:

'Which star's body would you most like to have?'. And among female celebs it is Angélina Jolie ahead of Scarlett Johannson. Our own dear Ms Moss and Ms Cole / Tweedy appear in the lower reaches. For the chaps it is Yoann Gourcuff, a footballer who appears to have a penchant for taking his shirt off, followed by Brad Pitt (who is older than me. Hope springs etc).

It gets seedier: 'Who among the following would you dream to have as your lover?'.

Yannick Noah (28%) leads from Ashton Kutcher (24%). Both these chaps are married, so I imagine amorous French women would have to contend with Isabelle Camus and Demi Moore respectively. Also in the list of 13 are Jerome Kerviel (France's Nick Leeson equivalent) at 7% and the following politicians - Dominique de Villepin (9%), Dominique Strauss-Kahn (3%), Olivier Besancenot (3%) and Sarko himself at 2%. Rather unkindly, an equivalent list of female celebs was no polled. Tant pis.

The least believed love stories are Sarko / Bruni (40%) and Cruise / Holmes (24%). Paris Hilton is the least liked on the list of female celebs, as well as being deemed a hypocrite. The male equivalent is Mickael Vandetta. He would seem to be a reality TV star, and his motto, apparently, is "I'm Brad Pitt for the body, Napoleon for the ambition, Columbus for the conquest!". Uh-huh.

Hansard quote o' the day, and a bonus vintage factlet

2010-07-05T15:18:00.007Z

This, from 1910, in a discussion on regency arrangements were George V to die before his progeny were of age:

Sir John Brunner (Lib) "At eighteen years of age the ordinary individual begins his university life. If the Sovereign has to have a university training at all, that is the age at which he will begin, it. Eighteen years of age is too soon for a boy to begin reading dry documents and to sign his name all the morning, and to lay foundation-stones all the afternoon. I am not a Court physician, but I maintain that those of Royal blood do not mature any earlier than ordinary human beings.

Some fairly half-hearted googling suggests that even in 1922 only some 10,000 were receiving degrees each year, so that's a pretty odd definition of an 'ordinary individual'. Brunner would appear not to have been a graduate, so that makes it odder still.

And the bonus ball:

Mr. SHERWELL asked the Secretary to the Treasury if he can state on what basis the estimated amount of beer consumed per head of the population in England, Scotland, and Ireland, respectively, in the year ended 31st March, 1910, namely, .79, .27, and .63 barrels, respectively, is calculated?

Mr. HOBHOUSE The estimated amount of home-made beer consumed per head of the population in the year 1909–10 is calculated on the net receipt of revenue from such beer in that year, adjusted to give the estimated true contribution of each country. This adjustment is made on the basis of statistics of transit of beer in the three Kingdoms in the year 1903–4 (see Annual Return of Revenue and Expenditure (England, Scotland, and Ireland)).

Makes you proud, doesn't it?

Lost in translation and the like

2010-07-05T11:39:00.000Z

The more astute of any of my remaining readers will be able to work out where I've been from these....

And what about this for a uniquely appealing attraction?:

And the way to greet certain Islamic rulers should they find themselves in Yorkshire:

Should the good burghers of Hammersmith & Fulham be worried?

2010-06-20T17:06:00.000Z

Spotted while out and about:

And a late breaking 1960 Hansard nugget:

Smell Nuisance, Tees-side

Mr. Chetwynd asked the Minister of Housing and Local Government and Minister for Welsh Affairs what action has been taken in the last year to find out the causes of the tom-cat smell which periodically afflicts Stockton-on-Tees and the Tees-side area; and what is being done to remedy this situation.

Sir K. Joseph (Yes, HIM) This smell has not been reported since 1957, when the source was traced and interim remedies applied. These temporary measures have been replaced during the past year by permanent measures which have proved effective. There are occasional complaints about a fish-like smell from an amines plant. Remedies have been applied with success, but complete elimination of smell at all times cannot be guaranteed.

And because it would be selfish not to share this:

The Wikipedia Metal Umlaut article. The related links are near as dammit pure gold too.

Anyway, I'm going off reservation for a bit, so blogging will be non-existent for a bit. 'See' you when I'm back, meanwhile comment moderation will be on.

The long-awaited DPRK Vs Brazil match report

2010-06-17T07:10:00.000Z

And they have not let me down (too badly):

"The league match of the 2010 World Cup between the DPRK and Brazil took place at dawn (Pyongyang time) on Wednesday. From the outset of the match the two teams fought a seesaw battle. The DPRK footballers created good shooting chances, not losing their confidence even after losing two goals.
At about the 88th minute of the match Jong Tae Se headed the ball before passing it to Ji Yun Nam who powerfully kicked it into the rival's goalmouth, scoring a goal.
The DPRK team will meet its Portuguese rival on June 21".

One for all the DPRK 'fans'

2010-06-16T11:48:00.002Z

Just seen this at the BBC website. The blighters do not appear to provide direct play urls for videos, and this will not work outside the UK. That apart, enjoy.

And this, gifted to me by Dizzy, because he's a preux chevalier:

While I'm awaiting a KCNA report on yesterday's game, revel in the adventures of the Taedonggang Combined Fruit Farm:

"The Taedonggang Combined Fruit Farm in the Wonhung area of Pyongyang has increased its capacity five times..The farm, with well-arranged and vast orchards, ring-shaped roads and waterways and fruit tree nurseries, has put fruit farming on a scientific, intensive and modern basis...The apple slices are turned out through such processes as washing, separation, hot-air drying and vacuum frying and finally packed".

Still nothing from KCNA, but it might be a bit like this, as found in The Guardian:

"Victory!" screams the front page banner headline of North Korean daily the Pyongyang Democrat, above a report outlining how the Democratic People's Republic of Korea torpedoed hapless Brazil in a 29-0 rout, in which bespectacled man of the match, chairman of the National Defence Commission, general secretary of the Workers' Party of Korea, supreme leader and midfield general Kim Jong-il scored 28 goals, with his late father eternal president Kim Il-Sung chipping in with a victory-sealing 30-yard surface-to-air missile in injury-time.

The trouble with Wikipedia

2010-06-16T10:14:00.006Z

While trying to discover the age of Lt Col Derek Wilford (I have failed, thus far), I stumbled upon a page category in wikipedia called 'Massacres in Northern Ireland'.

Not immediately recognising all of the named events, I have done some clicking through, and with one exception, all of the events are what might be termed Orange / British on Green. One might think that the Omagh bombing would rate as 'a massacre', what with 29 dead, but apparently not.

Perhaps I should join the select few and do a bit of editing.

A vintage Hansard trawl, featuring 'the truth about the navy', troublemaking foreign types and mudguards

2010-06-15T13:25:00.001Z

Cost over-runs - a lot older than government IT projects. At least 150 years older....

COLONEL WILSON PATTEN ....During the lifetime of the late Sir Charles Barry various steps were taken more or less ineffectually, in order to ascertain when the Houses of Parliament would be finally completed. Like the clock just alluded to by the hon. Member for Peterborough, the Houses, commencing at an estimate of £750,000 had already cost the nation £2,400,000. Now, at the death of Sir Charles Barry it became an object of special interest to the public to know whether the works wore completed; if not, how much remained to be done; and what would be the extra cost.

My wicked fellow republicans:

MR. W. EWART

said, he would beg to ask the First Commissioner of Works whether more seats round the larger trees in Kensington Gardens and the Parks can be placed there for the accommodation of the public; also, whether the large piece of ground lately used as a reservoir for one of the Water Companies, opposite Grosvenor Gate, can be thrown into the Park for the use of the public; and whether the unsightly iron railing round the Statue of King Charles I., at Charing Cross, might not be advantageously removed?

Mr Cowper
He quite concurred, he might add, with his hon. Friend in condemning the unsightly iron railing which surrounded the statue of Charles I., and he knew of no necessity for its being continued. It was a work of ancient date, and had been erected probably from a feeling that some of the mob might at that time be disposed to mutilate the statue as being an emblem of principles of which they disapproved.

Maoris, thousands of 'em:

LORD ALFRED CHURCHILL

in rising to put a Question on this subject, said the disturbances to which he wished to call the attention of the House had their origin in the circumstance that a native chief had taken it upon himself to endeavour to prevent the sale of a plot of land in the province of New Plymouth, with which the owner was desirous to part. To such interference the Government of the colony could not, of course, submit, and martial law had been proclaimed in the province. The consequence had been that the Europeans had been brought into collision with the natives, and it being recollected that a number of the settlers were at some of the outlying positions, a force of about 265 strong, including volunteers, colonial militiamen, and some men of the 65th Regiment, had been sent out to secure their safety....There could not be the slightest doubt that but for the arrival of Captain Cracroft and his blue jackets— who deserved all honour for their gallant conduct—these unfortunate settlers would have been cut to pieces during that night, being short of ammunition....He had received a letter from a gentleman largely connected with the colony, which stated:— "The European population of that province is only about 3,000 souls. The lands are principally held by the natives, who appear to have been encouraged to resist the sale of them by Europeans of the very vilest character who have settled among them, such as runaway convicts, sailors of different nations, and others, who, preferring a life of licentiousness, have lived among the natives, and encouraged them, not only by their advice but by subscriptions, to resist the Queen's authority."

Sailors of different nations, eh?

Fast forwarding some 50 years, and it is still those dodgy foreigners with their dodgy foreign ways causing trouble to the military and so forth:

Mr. RIDLEY asked the First Lord of the Admiralty whether his attention had been called to a case which came before the Rochester magistrates on Tuesday, 7th June, in which a Dutchman named Van Drunnen, in the employ of a Dutch firm of shipbreakers engaged in breaking-up His Majesty's ship "Anson," was fined 2s. 6d. and 15s. costs for assisting British bluejackets to improperly absent themselves from duty at Chatham Dockyard by rowing them across the river in his boat; and whether he would give instructions that in future when any British ships were to be broken up the work should be given to British hands?

Mr. McKENNA The answer to the first part of the question is in the negative. It would not appear that any stipulation such as that suggested in the second part of the question would have any effect in the prevention of such an occurrence as that referred to in the first part of the question, and no additional restriction of that nature is proposed.

Helpful, Mr McK, very helpful.

Big tease o' the day:

Mr. MIDDLEMORE (for Mr. Meysey-Thompson) asked the First Lord of the Admiralty whether he has read the book styled "The Truth about the Navy" which was issued by Admiralty Order to the men's libraries on His Majesty's Fleet in 1906; whether he is aware that it contains matter of a political character, also sentiments with regard to a friendly nation that might cause irritation; whether he is aware that it contains statements that amount to a defence of Admiralty policy, on which there has been much public controversy; and whether, looking to the fact that these books have been issued to some fleets and not to others, he will order the immediate recall of all these books from the ships' libraries of all the vessels in the Navy?

Mr. McKENNA I believe I read the paper-bound pamphlet referred to in the question two or three years ago, but I have not seen it since, and I am unable to recollect whether it "contains matter of a political character or sentiments with regard to a friendly nation which might cause irritation." As I have no reason to doubt that the title of the pamphlet accurately represents its contents, the statements therein would amount to a defence of Admiralty policy. I do not think the matter is of sufficient importance to justify a consideration of the question whether it should be recalled from ships' libraries.

And can I lay hands on the text of this work? Nope.

Disturbances in the Euphrates Delta:

Mr. REES asked the Secretary for Foreign Affairs whether he could give the House any information regarding the recent disturbances in the Euphrates delta; and whether the position of the Sheikh of Koweit had been injuriously affected by any of the reported or unreported hostilities between the Arab tribes at the head of or along the southern shore of the Persian Gulf?

The UNDER-SECRETARY of STATE for FOREIGN AFFAIRS (Mr. McKinnon Wood) Some hostilities have occurred between the forces of the Sheikh of Koweit aided by Bin Saoud and those of Sheikh Sadur of the Muntafik tribe, after which the former retired. We have no information to show that the position of the Sheikh of Koweit has been injuriously affected by these occurrences.

Not quite 'the mother of all battles' then.

The vexed issue of 'mudguards':

Mr. REES asked the Secretary of State for the Home Department whether he will consider the propriety of requiring the provision in the case of motor-driven vehicles of front mudguards of such a character that vehicles to which they are fitted would push in front instead of overrunning obstacles before them?

The SECRETARY of STATE for the HOME DEPARTMENT (Mr. Churchill) The question of imposing such a regulation on motor vehicles generally is one which comes within the province of the Local Government Board. But if my hon. 1309 Friend is referring to motor omnibuses licensed in the Metropolitan Police District, the answer is that the Commissioner of Police has from the outset impressed upon proprietors the importance of providing a suitable guard, and has intimated to them that when one is available certain concessions will be made as to the minimum road clearance of these vehicles. No satisfactory device, however, of the nature indicated has yet been submitted to him.

Mudguards? They sound more like snowplough / cowcatcher type things to me.

Great defunct job titles of our time:

Mr. HUGH BARRIE asked whether it is in contemplation to fill the post about to be vacated by Sir George P. O'Farrell, inspector of lunatics, by the appointment of a candidate who is thoroughly conversant by training and experience with the administration of lunatic asylums and the practical treatment of the insane?

Mr. BIRRELL Yes, Sir.

Birrell is to be applauded for his brevity. I envy O'Farrell his business card.

Gratuitous chart o' the day:

Mr. LONSDALE asked the number of persons in Ireland who were boycotted at the beginning of each month of the present year, January to June inclusive, under the headings, respectively, of wholly boycotted, partially boycotted, and minor boycotting?

Lowering the tone...

2010-06-12T09:43:00.001Z

Link 'borrowed' from the b3ta newsletter. It is a version of 'hot or not' focused on members of the US Congress, and the results of the crowdsourcing are in.

The best lookers, based on the wisdom of crowds, are these two - Mary Bono Mack, Cal (Rep) and Martin Heinrich NM, (Dem):

And the least pulchritudinous, these two - Ike Skelton, Missouri (Dem) and Nita Lowey, NY (Dem):

I reckon that Ms Lowey just looks her age, and there are significantly odder looking people in Congress, but judge for yourselves with vote rigging opportunities here.

A vintage Hansard trawl, featuring faith healers, missiles and the NUM, inter alia

2010-06-10T13:12:00.000Z

Lots of winners from 50 years ago,starting with this:

Mr. Mayhew Is the hon. Gentleman aware that these figures suggest that the Government are not taking full advantage of the enormously increased demand for television material overseas? Will he note that much of the television material exported commercially does little or no good in creating a good picture of Britain? What steps will the Chancellor of the Duchy take to encourage the distribution overseas of television material about Britain of a non-commercial kind?

Mr. Allan The hon. Gentleman would not expect me to answer that now. [HON. MEMBERS: "Why not?"] I will certainly see that my right hon. Friend does study this problem when he comes back this week.

I hate to think what the shade of Christopher Mayhew would make of current TV exports.

Brevity is indeed the soul of wit:

Mr. A. Roberts asked the Minister of Power what consultation he had with the National Union of Mineworkers before appointing the successor to Sir James Bowman as chairman of the National Coal Board.

Mr. Wood None, Sir.

Fifty years of non-progress:

Mr. Strauss

asked the Minister of Aviation whether he will make a statement about the recent visits to the United States of America of delegations from his Department to discuss the revision of the agreement that regulates the air services between the two countries.
...
Mr. Sandys

On the broader issue raised by the right hon. Gentleman, at different times Britain has advocated multilateral agreements for the relaxation of restrictions generally, but the response so far has not been very enthusiastic. So long as other countries continue to impose restrictions to protect their own airlines, we have to do the same, I am afraid.

Depressing, frankly.

More of the brief approach:

Mr. Frank Allaun asked the Minister of Aviation how much money has been spent on developing and making the Bloodhound missile; and what are the future plans for this missile

Mr. Rippon About £45 million has been spent to date on developing and proving the various Marks of Bloodhound....

Mr. Allaun Is not this yet another case of the Government spending scores of millions of £s on a weapon which is useless against either missiles or supersonic bombers?

Mr. Rippon No, Sir.

Handsome devil, isn't it?:

And so to faith healers:

Dr. D. Johnson asked the Minister of Health whether it is now his intention to admit to National Health Service hospitals healers who claim to cure disease by super-normal means for the purpose of their administering treatment to patients therein.

Mr. Walker-Smith I have not given guidance to hospital management committees, as I consider on present advice that the visiting of patients, is a matter which should be left to the hospital authority's discretion, in the light of the views of the doctor in charge of the particular patient who has asked for the visit. While I do not know the practice of individual committees, they are generally aware of my view.

...

Mr. Robinson Has the Minister seen the view expressed unanimously by the British Medical Association at its annual conference, condemning the introduction of these healers into hospitals? I do not want to express a view one way or the other about the merits of the Federation, but does not the Minister think that this is a matter in which he should give guidance to hospital authorities rather than leave the decision to individual authorities? Is he aware that these healers are now reported to be present in 50 per cent. of the hospitals run by management committees?

Mr. Walker-Smith I have seen recent Press reports about the proceedings of the British Medical Association, but I have not yet received any representations following therefrom. As for general guidance, if I am right as to the factors governing these cases, it must always ultimately be a matter for local decision, in the light of those factors. Therefore, general guidance, beyond what I have already said, would not appear to be appropriate.

I like this comment:

Mr. Paget As a matter of religious liberty, if someone in a hospital wants a chap to come and pray over him, why should not he be allowed to have him?

The Labour MPs who did not nominate - a cut out 'n' keep guide

2010-06-09T13:34:00.004Z

Were they too lazy, too stupid, too right wing, too left wing or too scared of causing offence? Or something else...

Graham Allen
Nick Brown
Gordon Brown
~~Richard Burden~~
~~Liam Byrne~~
Martin Caton
~~Stella Creasy~~
Tony Cunningham
Jim Dowd *
~~Angela Eagle~~
Roger Godsiff
Dai Havard *
David Heyes *
Glenda Jackson
~~Gregg McClymont~~
Graeme Morrice
~~Ian Murray~~
Dawn Primarolo
~~Graham Stringer~~
Gisela Stuart

This has been derived by comparing the list of Labour MPs here with the list of nominators per candidate. I would not stake everything on it, given Stephen Twigg shows as having nominated Abbott and Miliband sr in Labour List's, erm, lists. Any corrections gratefully received.

Those asterisked were Brown refuseniks in 2007, so either they have not got the hang of this voting business, or they really want to make sure that no fingers can be pointed at them.

Stella Creasy has e-mailed to ask for a correction, so there's a strike through her name now. She shows as voting in LL's list now, but she did not at the time of posting. As a sidebar, I thought it was depressing having a PM younger than I am, but having MPs born in years that I remember (1977) is enough to send one off to find a sharp instrument.

A further upmail suggests that LL has been doing some more updating, so I have performed a re-count.

And what has this to do with either Boris or TfL?

2010-06-08T11:49:00.002Z

Spotted this at my local tube station yesterday:

Perhaps we can look forward to posters in supermarkets urging us to travel outside of peak times or somesuch.

Technical writing. How not to do it.

2010-06-07T14:15:00.000Z

As spotted on a packet of satay sauce powder:

It reads 'Dissolve coconut milk powder in 150ml water in a small pan, do not use hot or cold water'.

Quite astonishing

2010-06-04T13:30:00.000Z

The Lego / felt tip printer:

Technical questions answered here.

Unlikely to be true....

2010-06-03T17:32:00.000Z

..but worth repeating because it is highly amusing:

Big Bother
Polling Station | United Kingdom

(A young girl of 18 or 19, clearly a first-time voter, skips the line and rushes up to my table.)

Me: “I’m sorry, you’ll have to wait. There’s a line.”

Voter: “I’m sorry, but it’s important! I need to get my ballot paper back. I voted for the wrong person!”

Me: “Alright, give me the spoiled one.”

Voter: “I can’t. I put it in the box.”

Me: “Then I’m afraid we can’t get it back. The boxes can’t be opened until the end of voting at ten o’clock.”

Voter: “But I didn’t know! I don’t want the Conservatives to get in so I voted for [Conservative candidate]. I should have voted for someone else!”

Me: “Um, why did you vote for the Conservative?”

(The girl turns scarlet and looks utterly miserable.)

Voter: “I thought it was like TV where you vote them off!”

(Found at notalwaysright.com, an amusing collection of tales of customer etc idiocy)

A not quite so vintage Hansard trawl,featuring 'left-wing allegiances' and go-karts

2010-06-02T14:20:00.002Z

This is a good one, trust me:

School Pupils (Political Allegiances)
W. Griffiths (Lab,Manchester Exchange)asked the Minister of Education whether his attention has been directed to the fact that at a school, details of which have been supplied to him, security officers have interviewed the headmaster and brought pressure to bear upon him to ascertain from his sixth form pupils the nature of their political allegiances; and what guidance he will give to principals of schools to ensure that, when any approaches of this kind are made, both principals and pupils are aware of the proper procedure for dealing with them.
Sir D. Eccles I looked into this as soon as I heard of it. The headmaster of the school assured me that the statements made in the first part of the Question are entirely without foundation and that no inquiries have been made about boys still in the school. No guidance from me is, therefore, required.

But it gets better

Mr. Griffiths Is the right hon. Gentleman aware that that answer is rather worse than I had expected? I am informed that this matter arose in the following way: there is no doubt that the headmaster interrogated one class of the lower sixth containing about 27boys—about their political affiliations, telling them, for instance, that they should not wear the badge of the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament, and warning them of the danger of holding left-wing views">

Sounds like just the sort of institution that Chiswickite Major and Minor should be sent to /tongue in cheek.

Business Firms (Payments to Political Parties)Mr. W. Hamilton asked the Chancellor of the Exchequer to what extent payments made by firms to political parties are now regarded by the Inland Revenue as a legitimate business expense for tax purposes.
Mr. Barber Payments to political parties are not regarded as a deductible expense.

Go-karts
Mr. Hilton asked the Chancellor of the Exchequer what is the percentage of Purchase Tax charged on the wholesale value of go-karts used for racing purposes in this country.
Mr. Barber Go-karts are taxable at 50 per cent. of their wholesale value. Mr. Hilton Is it not the fact that other articles of sports equipment, such as tennis racquets, hockey sticks, football gear and the like are not subject to the tax? As go-kart racing is comparatively new and mainly a working-man's sport, will he consider reducing or removing Purchase Tax from go-karts to bring them into line with other sporting articles? Will he also bear in mind that the manufacture of these go-karts is a most useful light industry and would be encouraged if Purchase Tax were removed? Mr. Barber My right hon. Friend the Chancellor of the Exchequer answered a Question on this subject, asked of him by my hon. Friend the Member for Newbury (Sir A. Hurd) on 10th May. My right hon. Friend said in his Answer that he did not feel able to recommend a reduction in the rate of tax on go-karts, and I am afraid that I cannot go further than that.

(Formatting to be sorted out later - probs with deformatting Hansard text without Notepad)

Something to make your flesh creep

2010-06-02T10:22:00.000Z

From KCNA:

"Kim Sun Yong, 36, residing in Central District, Pyongyang, told KCNA that her children owe many things to the state, more than to their parents".

Warned you all, didn't I?

The briefest of vintage Hansard trawls:

2010-06-01T13:44:00.000Z

Those economic migrants, 1860 style:

"MR. H. B. JOHNSTONE called attention to the fact of some hundreds of English artisans leaving our dockyards for the purpose of obtaining employment at Cherbourg, where it was reported that they were paid much higher wages than they received in this country. In the absence of the noble Lord, the Minister for Foreign Affairs, he would defer the consideration of the question until Monday.

Sensible fellows, those artisans.

Your handy guide to the popularity of the Labour leadership contenders

2010-05-31T10:55:00.000Z

Data taken from here.

So that's 102 MPs playing hard to get, including Harman, Straw, Darling and the ex PM, Mr 'Albatross Around The Neck' Brown. Miliband still hasn't nominated himself, by the way.

The vintage Hansard trawl, featuring sycophancy, the salary of the Pres of the Board of Trade and sundry other oddments

2010-05-27T14:08:00.000Z

This, from 1960.

Dr. A. Thompson asked the Minister of Health if he will examine the possibility of providing separate wards in hospitals for non-smokers in order to protect bronchitic and asthmatic patients.

Mr. Walker-Smith It is within the discretion of individual hospital authorities to decide what arrangements should be made regarding smoking and I am sure they will be vigilant to protect patients who find tobacco smoke objectionable. One must however bear in mind that many bronchitic patients are confirmed smokers.

The 'guid doctor' from Dunfermline is still among us apparently. Perhaps he is a non-smoker.

And so back to 1910:

Mr. BYLES asked the Prime Minister whether the salary of the President of the Board of Trade has been increased, and to what amount; how long has the increase been paid; was it provided in the Act of last year that the amount of the salary should be fixed by Parliament; and why has that not been done?

The PRIME MINISTER The salary of the President of the Board of Trade was raised to £5,000 per annum from the date of the appointment of the present holder of that office, and that sum has been provided in the estimate for the Board of Trade for the current year. Should the House decline to vote the increased salary, the amount overpaid will be recovered.

If the rather nifty historic inflation calculator at Thisismoney.co.uk is to be believed - and why not? - five large then equates to 437 and a half large now. Not a bad scratch.

Matters Somali:

Mr. J. D. REES I beg to ask the Under-Secretary of State for the Colonies whether he has any intelligence to communicate to the House regarding the Somali Mullah?

Just the one?

The UNDER-SECRETARY of STATE for the COLONIES (Colonel Seely) No, Sir, we have no confirmation of the rumours appearing in the public Press as to the death of the Mullah. I will communicate to the House any information I receive.

Taking being the policeman's friend just a little too far, by my reckoning:

Captain JESSEL asked the Secretary of State for the Home Department whether, seeing that in celebration of His Majesty's Accession, remission of sentences and condonation of certain offences has been granted to the Navy, Army, Mercantile Marine, and to prisoners both in the United Kingdom and in India, he could see his way to advise the grant of similar remissions to the police forces and to the Metropolitan Police, such as a reduction of the period of disqualification for a clean sheet and other measures suitable to the occasion?

The SECRETARY of STATE for the HOME DEPARTMENT (Mr. Churchill) To commemorate His Majesty's Accession I have approved the proposal that men of the Metropolitan Police Force who on 23rd May were undergoing punishment by fine or by suffering a decrease, for a period, in their rate of pay shall have the amount of any fine or balance of a fine outstanding on above date remitted, or a curtailment made in the unexpired period of decreased pay up to a limit of three months. Notice of this remission appeared in the newspapers yesterday.

Meanwhile, nice words from Persia vis a vis his late maj:

Mr. SPEAKER I have to report to the House that I have received from the President of the Medjlis of Persia a telegram, of which the following is a translation:— "Teheran, 12th May, 1910." "At the moment when the British nation mourns its terrible loss, the Medjlis, imbued with a deep feeling of profound sympathy, directs me to transmit to the House of Commons an expression of its own great affliction at the loss of a man who, quite apart from the greatness of his reign as a Sovereign, is entitled to the gratitude of humanity." "President of the Medjlis," "MOSTECHAREDOOLET."

Laying it on with a trowel, wasn't he? My republican tendencies nothwithstanding.....

Intriguing:

Mr GIBSON BOWLES asked the Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs whether there is any record in the Foreign Office of any overtures either in 1899 or in 1901 between Great Britain and Germany for the accession of Great Britain to the Triple Alliance between Germany, Austria, and Italy, or are there any papers relating thereto; were any overtures begun in January, 1901, and broken off in March, 1901, for any understanding with Germany, or any joint action with Germany; and is there any correspondence that he can lay upon the Table for the information of Parliament?

Sir E. GREY I cannot answer questions of this kind about relations between Great Britain and other Powers ten years ago.

A very brief dig has not disclosed anything informing me one way or another.

What's Miliband Sr got that Miliband Jr, Balls et al have not?

2010-05-26T15:07:00.000Z

A certain boundless confidence, judging by the noms list over at the Labour party's site:

Here's Balls:

And here's Burnham:

Miliband jr:

And here's the David Miliband-sized hole in his nomination list:

It could be the case that BananaMan did nominate himself, but "the People's Party" is no better at running a website than running the country.

The perils of automating?

2010-05-26T11:04:00.000Z

An outbreak of rather unfortunate juxtapositioning on the BBC site:

No-one (else) likes them, they don't care

2010-05-26T10:13:00.000Z

An EDM:

MILLWALL AND LEAGUE ONE PLAY-OFF FINAL

25.05.2010

Hughes, Simon

That this House congratulates Millwall FC, pride of South London, on its successful season in League One and its roaring finish; salutes its play off semi-final victory over Huddersfield; and wishes the chairman, board, manager Kenny Jackett, captain Paul Robinson, record goal scorer Neil Harris and all the squad, staff and fans all the very best in the League One play-off final against Swindon on Saturday 29 May.

No-one else has signed it, especially the members for Swindons North and South

David Beckham in Afghanistan

2010-05-26T08:03:00.000Z

Yes, we all know he's been there, but here is an extract from an e-mail from a friend who has just gone out there:

"...followed by another pair of hours on the ground in the Middle East before moving onto a C-17 and flying direct into Camp Bastion – again in the dead of night. All pretty swept up and well organised…and despite the lateness of the hour when we popped out of the system at Bastion we were delighted to be met by a number of smiling faces (our predecessors!), who were only too pleased to visually sight us!

A somewhat surreal addition to the above – David Beckham was on the same flight out to theatre; it had been a well-kept secret that he was coming out to spent the weekend meeting the boys and girls and so his arrival in the departure lounge at 0330 was greeted with a stir of interest, followed by a rapid queue as folk lined up for photos, autographs, or as in the case of one young aircraftsman, a wordless hug akin to hero worship. This was a scene that endured throughout the flights, holdovers and subsequent 2-day visit around the units in Bastion – Beckham went everywhere, forgoing meals and enduring long days to meet and talk to as many folk as he could. As I was finding my way around Bastion I bumped into him 4 times – shows how much he got around, and his patience and stamina, in temperatures in excess of 43 degrees Celsius and frequent choking dust storms, was just brilliant. Likewise his humility in interacting with the troops – from holding doors to let others pass, giving up his chair so others could sit, and taking time to talk to each person he met. Quite remarkable given his fame and lifestyle, and massively well received out here".

A further sign of the Apocalypse?

2010-05-25T09:53:00.002Z

As spotted in these parts the other day:

If these are not heralding the End of Days, might someone offer up some illumination, please?

(OK, they look to be real, and a serious response to a problem, but I suspect most non-diabetics would have done a double take too)

At least one former minister has started job hunting....

2010-05-22T10:53:00.000Z

At the risk of appearing a tease, I am going to be very opaque about this one:

A friend received a call from this former minister and ex MP yesterday, with him hoping to get a foot in the door with friend's company.

The two had only met once before, that being when the minister (OK, a PPS, which is practically pond life) attended a meeting between friend and a PR agency.

The vintage Hansard trawl, featuring the four crooks elected to serve, Garibaldi, limits to the working week and an early outbreak of a troughing MP.

2010-05-18T15:23:00.000Z

Starting with 1860:

Subscriptions for Garibaldi

"MR. HENNESSY said, he rose pursuant to notice to call the attention of the House to the Statement by the Solicitor General with reference to an advertisement in The Times newspaper for raising money to assist the insurgents in Sicily, and to call attention to a decision of the Court of Common Pleas as to the illegality of such a proceeding....The hon. Member (Mr. Grant Duff) who introduced the subject frankly owned he wished success to the revolt, and hoped that, spreading into the main land it would before long overwhelm the King and Government in utter, destruction. The hon. and learned Gentleman, in replying, said:— "The question was, whether the subscribing of money by any of Her Majesty's subjects in this country or paying it into the hands of a foreigner living here with the purpose and object described, came within the rule of common law, or was an offence against any prohibitory statute. Now, it appeared to him that, as long as what was done was limited within the bounds of a mere subscription in this country, such as this advertisement prescribed, no law of this country would be violated...Any man who thought [it] proper might put his hand into his pocket [to] take out his money and put it into the hands of another on the faith of its going to Genoa to be disposed of by General Garibaldi, without violating any law whatever".

Can't say I am entirely up to speed on the current law on this sort of thing, but I will give very short odds that such adverts and actions would be remarkably illegal these days.

Zipping forward some fifty years:

Lord H. CAVENDISH-BENTINCK

asked the Minister of Labour whether he will arrange so that the Bill to limit the hours of labour to forty-eight per week, introduced by several hon. Members, be either adopted by the Government or given facilities for its passage into law at the earliest possible opportunity?

Sir. R. HORNE

The Government proposes to introduce at an early date a measure dealing with the same matter and the suggestion of my Noble Friend accordingly cannot be adopted.

They just can't leave well alone, can they?

A question that might have been phrased better:

Sir B. FALLE asked the Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs if he can say if the Serbs have any right to occupy Gusinje; if they have occupied Vermoshi, the summer grazing ground of the Albanian tribes; and what will be the result of such occupation?

A bit of digging shows Vermoshi to be at the Northern extremity of Albania, just over the border from Montenegro. If Albanians can digest grass, I'm impressed.

Anyway, further on in the exchange:

Lord H. CAVENDISH-BENTINCK
Can the Government take no steps at all to safeguard the Albanians from ill-treatment on the part of the Serbians?
Colonel WEDGWOOD
Is it not the duty of the British Government to protect the Moslems in Albania against ill-treatment of this sort, in view of the fact that the British Government is the greatest Moslem Power in the world?

For what it is worth, I very much doubt that this is the year as advertised, judging by this:

Lord H. CAVENDISH-BENTINCK asked the Under-Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs whether, in view of the many charges and counter-charges levelled, not only against the Bolsheviks but against Admiral Koltchak, General Denikin, and the White Guards in Finland, the Government will appoint a committee of Members of Parliament to investigate these charges and to issue from time to time impartial and trustworthy statements as to the position of affairs in Russia?

Mr. HARMSWORTH I have given careful consideration to the hon. Member's proposal, but, as at present advised, I have grave doubts whether any useful purpose would be served by the appointment of a committee of the nature he suggests.

Colonel WEDGWOOD Is it possible for the Government to issue a White Paper detailing the results of the White Terror in Finland and the Ukraine as a parallel to their White Paper on the Red Terror in Russia?

Either the date is very wrong, or some of our Parliamentarians could have made a killing on the nags or the stock market judging from their ability to read the future.

Not especially time-sensitive, but plus ca change etc:

Mr. SPENCERasked the President of the Board of Trade whether he can take any action to secure for Members of this House travelling on railways and holding season tickets the privilege of travelling on alternate lines?

Mr. BRIDGEMAN Regulations, of which I am sending the hon. Gentleman a copy, are in operation in. regard to the interavailability of season tickets, and I am afraid that I cannot secure their modification in favour of Members of Parliament.

Major WOOD In view of the desirability of hon. Members being able to keep in close touch with their constituents; will the hon. Gentleman consider the desirability of giving them free passes?

Mr. BRIDGEMAN

I will represent to the proper authorities the desire expressed by my hon. and gallant Friend.

The doubtless gallant Major sat for Aberdeenshire and Kincardineshire Central (in the Liberal interest), so his desire for a freebie is understandable, if not wholly laudable.

Meanwhile, as an off-meter treat, readers should hie themselves here to see if there have been any parliamentarians sharing their surnames. No matches for me, alas. Our PM is the seventh Cameron, by the look of it. There have been *ten* John Smiths, and three John Smyths. And there have only ever been four Crooks in Parliament:

Reg was a Socialist, as is Doug, Joseph a Whig / Radical (nomenclature varies) and Chas was one of my lot, despite being elected to the less than leafy seat of East Ham North in 1922.

If the Franklin Mint did politics...

2010-05-18T07:18:00.001Z

....and had a well-developed taste for the ironic and the po-mo , it might come up with something like these offerings from Zazzle.co.uk:

Can't say I have a particular yen for any of them, but they are rather droll.

The news we've all been waiting for.

2010-05-15T11:17:00.000Z

Yup, the DPRK has finally woken up to what happened the other day:

"Pyongyang, May 14 (KCNA) -- DPRK Premier Kim Yong Il Thursday sent a congratulatory message to David Cameron upon his appointment as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
Hoping that the relations between the two countries would develop on good terms, the message wished the Prime Minister successes in his work.
Meanwhile, DPRK Foreign Minister Pak Ui Chun sent a congratulatory message to William Hague upon his appointment as UK foreign secretary".

Given the strange things that have come to pass of late, maybe DC will chummy up with KJI. I doubt it, however.

And as a special bonus, the DPRK Insult generator, care of the generous Mr Eugenides.

A bit of historical perspective, or the long awaited return of the vintage Hansard trawl

2010-05-13T15:21:00.000Z

Starting with 1860:

Lunatics in Scotland

With a wonderfully irrelevant addendum:

MR. E. ELLICE (St. Andrews) said, he rose to ask the Lord-Advocate, Whether he intends at an early period to propose a Bill for establishing greater uniformity in the interpretation of the Law of Scotland as regards the definition of Lunacy; for removing doubts as to the obligation of Counties to provide accommodation for Lunatics; and for giving to the Commissioners in Lunacy extended powers with regard to the custody of Pauper Lunatics?

THE LORD-ADVOCATE said, it was his intention to introduce a Bill to remedy some of the defects which were found to exist in former Lunacy Acts, and he hoped soon to lay it on the Table of the House.

Given the exciting times of the lion lying down with the lamb etc, readers are invited to choose which political party's Scottish election performance best points to mental health issues North of the Border.

And the add on:

"MR. G. W. HOPE said, he rose to say a few words of explanation with reference to a statement he had made when moving for the production of the Civil Service Exanimation Papers a few nights previously. On that occasion he had said that in the case of the particular candidate of whose rejection he complained, there had been but one single mistake in his spelling. He had since been informed that there was more than one mistake. He had also stated that he was unacquainted with the names of the Commissioners. He had now ascertained that two of them were Sir Edward Ryan and Sir John Lefevre, and he might say that if there were any gentlemen whom he would entrust with the duties of such a position with confidence, those were the two he would select".

Onwards:

CAPTAIN GRANT'S MILITARY COOKING INVENTIONS.—OBSERVATIONS

COLONEL LINDSAY said, he rose to draw the attention of the House to the system of cooking in the army invented by Captain Grant, and to ask the Secretary of State for War, if he intends to recommend that some remuneration shall be given to Captain Grant for the great services he has rendered in improving and economising the system. The hon. and gallant Gentleman observed that before those improvements were introduced the only means employed for cooking soldiers' dinners were boilers, and if the men desired to have their food baked they had to take it to an oven in the town where they happened to be, and to pay for it out of their own pockets...The expense of cooking at the present moment varied from ½d. per man per week to 5d. per man per week. But this last was an excessive charge. It occurred at St. George's Barracks, and was caused by the apparatus of cooking by gas, which for military reasons ought to be discontinued. The system which only cost a halfpenny per day per man was that of Captain Grant. The Army Sanitary Commission...recommended that the means should be furnished the soldiers of having their rations cooked by baking, stewing, and frying.
....

Mr Cave....If a man invented a method of blowing a whole regiment to atoms, he was amply rewarded, and covered with distinction; but if he merely contrived a means of keeping them alive, he was not thought entitled to distinction or reward by the Government of the country.

If an army does indeed march on its stomach, I pity our Tommies a non-stop diet of the boiled.

In 1910, our Parliamentarians were mainly concerned with encomia to the lately deceased Edward VII, which does not lend itself to much amusement or facetious asides. Mind you, how about this for flowery:

"The Douma of the Empire at its sitting of the 26th April (9th May) has charged me with the duty of interpreting to you the sentiments of profound condolence and of sorrowful sympathy which it experiences on the occasion of the decease of His Majesty King Edward VII. The mourning of your country has found a unanimous echo in the representatives of the Russian nation, which loses in the person of the late King a near relative of the Imperial family of Russia, a sure friend and constant well-wisher, a monarch devoted to the maintenance of universal peace. Please convey to the House of Commons the expression of the Sentiments which animate the Douma of the Empire, as well as the profound assurance which it feels that the bonds of friendship between our two countries, which received so powerful an impulse from the great Sovereign who has passed away, will not cease to be developed and strengthened for the greatest good of both nations. ALEXANDER GOUTCHKOFF, "President of the Douma of the Empire

A bit late, Sandy, we know you volunteered for the Boers in that war.

Meanwhile this little nugget from 1960, prefacing a question about surplus army boots:

Mr. Norman Dodds (Erith and Cray ford, LAB) The Sixth Report of the Select Committee on Estimates on Treasury Control of Expenditure reports that a very knowledgeable person, Sir Ivone Kirkpatrick, former permanent head of the Foreign Office, had called for a purge of top civil servants who squander public money. In fact, he asked that civil servants who waste public money should be sacked, and he said that many top civil servants are failing to keep a tight hand on the taxpayers' money and should be retired earlier, with revocation of honours granted. That is the view of Sir Ivone Kirkpatrick, who should know.

There are many thousands of people in this country who are asking why top civil servants are not penalised when public money is wasted. People want to know, and I want to know, what does happen to them when millions of pounds are thrown away or lost through lack of initiative or care. Are they punished, and if not, why not? I have asked this question of the Prime Minister, and there does not seem to be any record at any time in recent years of any top civil servant being sacked or in any way penalised when money has been spent and it has been proved that much of it has been wasted.

I think it should be politicians first, then civil servants

Fact o' the day

2010-05-13T13:19:00.000Z

As found in China Daily's English language edition (8/4/10):

"Statistics show that 41 percent of private businesses in China are managed by women, while 28 percent of the executives at State- or collectively-owned companies are female".

Bit of a thing, eh?

Yes, it is an attention seeking press release, but...

2010-05-12T13:31:00.000Z

..it is rather amusing. Anyway, just received from Paddy Power:

    What will Cameron do first?

    3/1       Meet the England Cricket team

    7/2       Christen the bed at number 10

    7/2       Announce a House of Commons Speaker election

    4/1       Attend Henley Regatta

    4/1       Cycle to the House of Commons

    5/1       Hold a meeting with Barack Obama

    10/1     Kick out the Downing Street cat Sybil

    16/1     Attend a World Cup 2010 match

    25/1     Start a war

    100/1   Unveil his own statue on Trafalgar Square's fourth plinth

At least one of those does not seem especially open to outside verification.

Gerald Ford speaks on Brown. /Ish/

2010-05-11T18:52:00.000Z

One of my first thoughts:

Fun and games with the NHS

2010-05-11T13:40:00.000Z

Back in mid-March, my GP referred me for surgery. Nothing serious, and nothing embarassing either, but I am not going to spell it out.

Anyway, my first appointment was slated for the 1st of April. Pretty fast moving, all things considered. Some way down the line this was spiked by the hospital concerned, and I was offered the 20th of May. Marvellous, thinks I, although the central appointments department - based in Milton Keynes of somesuch, then wrote to me in late April saying that the appointment - not dated - had been cancelled. I assumed that 20/5 was now no longer happening, but was prevailed upon to ring to check. Lo and behold this actually referred to the 1/4 appointment, a mere few weeks late. A great use of the post etc, I am sure you will agree.

Last week I was again written to, and was told that 20/5 was no longer an option and was told that this was due to cancer admissions taking priority. Since what I have is a long way from being life threatening, and rates as little more than a minor nuisance, that would seem reasonable enough, if (and only if) cancer surgeons deal with the same minor procedure I am going in for. Perhaps a little unlikley, yes?

I have now been offered the 8th of July, not that I expect that to happen either. If it does, however, that is a mere 18 weeks from first referral, and I believe what is supposed to be the targeted maximum wait....

Whilst we are on the subject of 'fair' voting....

2010-05-11T11:00:00.001Z

Despite my highest mathematical achievement being a 'C' at 'O' level (for which I needed coaching...), I derive much pleasure from fiddling around with electoral statistics, and armed with the turnout figures for the election I have derived an electorate of 45,533,309 and have then allocated the 650 seats to the regions based on actual population, rather than the near-gerrymandered ones we actually voted for. This sees the following adjustments:

Wales -8
SW +2
SE +6
London +2
Eastern +3
East Midlands +2
West Midlands -1
North West - unchanged
Yorkshire & Humberside -1
North East -1
Scotland -4
NI -1

If each party had secured the same percentage of seats in each region under these theoretical boundaries as they did last week, the Tories would have an extra nine seats (316), Labour would have lost seven (251), the LDs would be flat and PC would have lost one (2). The vegetation-coloured Far Left of Brighton Pavillion would be unchanged. I have assumed that Thirsk will stay blue. Northern Ireland presents something of a problem, in that rounding up and down confuses things horribly....

This still leaves us in hung Parliament territory, but Con + DUP comes to 324, and given that the Shinners are not keen on turning up to vote, Lab+LD+SNP+PC+SDLP+Alliance+Sylvia Hermon comes to 322.

Interesting, no?

Update - Idle Pen Pusher has been doing something similar, and it is well worth the read..

The Election Debates - recast

2010-05-08T10:04:00.000Z

This was found at B3ta, and shows 'In a bid to appeal to the younger electorate, the leaders of the three main parties...a fourth televised debate, in the form of a rap battle'. If this has already done the rounds and I'm late to the party, apologies.

Anyway, enjoy.

A cut out 'n keep guide to Caroline Lucas

2010-05-07T15:32:00.000Z

Just so you know. I did this in November 2008, and think it is worth re-visiting:

In 2004 173,351 people in the South East of England voted for the Green Party in the form of Caroline Lucas. I was not one of them, surprisingly enough. She crept in via the D'Hondt list system, not FPP, naturally.

Rooting around among some of my lesser used bookmarks, I chanced upon the 'People Before Profit' charter, via the SWP's website. Google will bring up the references, there being some sites I refuse to link to.

This is it:
Wage increases no lower than the rate of inflation as given by the Retail Price Index. No to the government’s 2 percent pay limit.
Increase tax on big companies. Introduce a windfall tax on corporation superprofits, especially those of the oil companies.
Repeal the Tory anti-union laws. Support the Trade Union Freedom Bill.
Unsold houses and flats should be taken over by local councils to ease the housing crisis. No house repossessions. For an emergency programme of council house building.
Stop the privatisation of public services. Free and equal health and education services available to all.
End the occupations of Iraq and Afghanistan and use the money to expand public services. Stop the erosion of civil liberties.
Abolish tax on fuel and energy for old people and the poor. Re-establish the link between wages and pensions.
No to racism. No to the British National Party. No scapegoating of immigrants.
Reintroduce grants and abolish tuition fees for students.
Increase the minimum wage to £8.00 an hour.
Definitively hard left, is it not?

Ms Lucas likes it a lot:

"I fully support the Charter and am happy to lend it my support. However, I would also encourage you to seek to broaden its appeal by addressing the lack of any environmental perspective or reference to the causes of the current economic crisis and unemployment. To this end, I recommend that two additions be made to the Charter as follows:
● Fight rising unemployment with massive investment in energy saving and renewable
energy.
● End the free for all and regulate financial institutions".

That the Greens are not just a bunch of tree huggers but firmly on the hard left has been obvious for years, but I do wonder how many of those 173,351 voters realise their MP makes common ground with 4th International Trots. Note that the only other extreme left party to stand, Respect, reaped a grand total of 13,426 votes.

Party slogans we can all approve of

2010-05-06T16:06:00.001Z

Spotted while out and about. I rather like all of them, although I think the blue team has the winner.

A voting guide of sorts

2010-04-24T11:09:00.000Z

Borrowed from b3ta.com user benito vasselini. Can't say I agree with the sentiments, but it IS funny:

Nick Clegg video shocker

2010-04-24T10:13:00.002Z

Ok, not the content, but the hair:

The soundness of the over 65s...

2010-04-22T09:00:00.000Z

I've just been sent this, and seeing as the research is interesting I am giving the commissioning company a namecheck:

"New research out today from Peverel Retirement shows retirees are likely to be the difference between success and failure for the Tories when the UK goes to the polls on 6 May.

A survey conducted by Opinion Matters on behalf of the UK’s leading property retirement company has found 34% of over 65-year-olds, approximately 3.3 million of the population, say they intend to vote for the Conservatives. This figure significantly exceeds support levels for the two main other parties, with only 14% and 13% of the same age group backing Labour and the Liberal Democrats respectively...The Peverel Retirement report, named Thinking about the Future, also found the most important policy issue to those aged 65-plus was healthcare and the state of the NHS (69%). This was closely followed by pensioner welfare (including fuel benefits) at 67%. However, politicians’ ideas for getting the economy back on track will only have a major influence on 54% of pensioner votes".

Labour manifesto sleight of hand, or a sub-editing error?

2010-04-20T13:22:00.000Z

Compare and contrast on p46 of the Labour manifesto:

We created the right to request flexible working for parents and carers.

And

By the end of the next Parliament we will ensure that the right to flexible working is extended for older
people.

Incidentally, in a rare outbreak of the Lib Dems getting something right where the other two get it wrong, the LDs index their manifesto. For which thanks.

A little light manifesto number crunching

2010-04-20T10:06:00.000Z

For ~~my sins~~ work reasons, I am reading through the party manifestos, and since I do not feel I should suffer alone, some findings:

The Conservative manifesto mentions 'Labour' some 75 times.

The Labour Manifesto mentions 'Conservative' once and 'Tory' five times.

(To be updated with LD figures, as and when)

Crowdsourcing the election - #4 Yorkshire & the Humber

2010-04-13T14:40:00.001Z

And another one. This time I have Conservative up 15 (24), Labour down 17 (27) and LD unchanged on three. 2005 map here.

And the counties (decidedly not to scale):

Data:

Crowdsourcing the election - #3 Eastern region

2010-04-13T13:05:00.000Z

And even more.... I make it Conservatives 37 (+ 9), Labour 1 (-9) - achieving a near wipe out and LD unchanged at two. 2005 map here.

The five counties:

Source data:

Crowdsourcing the election - #2 Wales

2010-04-13T12:25:00.002Z

More of the same. Conservatives + 5, Labour -6, LD -1, Plaid +2, Independent unchanged. 2005 map here.

The map:

And the data:

Crowdsourcing the election - #1 London

2010-04-13T09:57:00.001Z

I have been looking at the current state of betting over at Betfair, and based on the shortest odds, I am calling London's results as Conservative - 36, Labour - 31 and LD - 6. (E&OE....) Having peered at a 2005 results map, I make that C + 15, L - 13 and LD - 2. There are the issues of boundary changes and the Brent / Croydon Central problems, but I think the exercise was worth doing.

Here's a rough and ready map - and the Tories taking Poplar and Limehouse *is* how the market is calling it:

There's a 2005 results map here.

I am quite keen on repeating the exercise with other areas, so if anyone would like to volunteer to take a region, supply some smarter looking graphics, or if those nice people at Betfair would like to pitch in with an easier way of accessing the data, full credit will be given, along with my undying gratitude.

Here's a screenshot of my workings:

62% of Britons have not heard of the Common Agricultural Policy

2010-04-08T09:51:00.000Z

(If that headline looks familiar, it is because I've used it before).

Eurobarometer has just published its annual EU agricultural survey, including this question:

"Have you ever heard or read about the CAP, the European Union’s Common Agricultural Policy?" And a mere 38% of my compatriots said yes, down from 43% in 2007. The EU average is 41%, with a French peak of 66% and a Maltese trough of 19%.

All the ranty points from 2007 hold, so fee free to have a look at the archive.

Meanwhile, North of the Border

2010-04-08T09:37:00.000Z

I suspect that few of us this side of the border pay much heed to what happens in Scotland, so I am taking the liberty of passing on this nugget from The Scotsman to a smaller audience:

"The Conservatives will today provide further evidence of their campaigning fire-power as Annabel Goldie takes to the air in a frenetic attempt to visit all their Scottish target seats in a day....The Conservatives' airborne style is in marked contrast to the more low-key Labour campaign which has already acknowledged it cannot hope to keep pace with their better-funded Tory rivals. The Scottish campaign yesterday sought to make a virtue of necessity, revealing how it planned to use party members to phone up one million voters...Conservatives in Scotland are sensitive to claims they are outspending Labour, pointing out how they are self-funding. One senior source said: "All the money we spend was raised in Scotland. We don't get money from down south."

Interesting, no? For the record, I remain a conviction unionist, and hope that the Unionists under the doughty Mrs Goldie will deliver a few more seats for the cause.

Something else happening on 6/5/10

2010-04-07T13:55:00.000Z

International No Diet Day.

Yes, really.

Feel free to think of the porky candidate of your choice.

Election fever strikes....

2010-04-06T11:49:00.001Z

From the Guardian's website:

I suppose it rather begs the question as to which type of crisp each of the leaders would be. I'm mooting strange turnip type things for Clegg, Co-op economy ready salted for Brown, and probably something a bit fancy with sun-dried tomatoes for DC.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the ditch, this from a rather more enthusiastic French person, reacting to the news on Le Figaro's site:

"Nos amis anglais vont nous montrer la voie d'une vraie politique de droite" (Our English friends will show us the way with real right wing policies). A consummation devoutly to be wished.

A litle light hansard trawling - featuring horror films, creosote and privateers in dog collars.

2010-03-29T18:57:00.001Z

Starting in 1860.

"Mr Selwyn said, he wished to ask the Secretary to the Admiralty, Whether the Lords Commissioners of the Admiralty intend to recal the Circular of the 2nd of February, 1860, relating to the rank of Chaplains in the Royal Navy, or to alter the Circular so as to make it accord with that portion of the Order in Council which relates to the same subject; and whether the Lords Commissioners of the Admiralty are prepared to make any arrangement, in compliance with the request of the Chaplains, that in choice of quarters, sharing prize money, and taking a passage, they rank with Commanders afloat, or field officers when employed on shore?".

Insert joke about muscular Christianity here...

Lord Clarence Paget - With regard to the choice of quarters, by which he presumed the hon. and learned Member meant cabins, he had to state that Chaplains were always allowed one of the best cabins in the quietest part of the ship. With regard to sharing prize-money and taking rank as commanders afloat, he was afraid the Admiralty could not accede to that proposal. The Chaplains had never ranked with Commanders afloat, but had taken their rank with the Paymasters and Surgeons, and other Officers of that class, and the Admiralty had no intention of altering that arrangement.

Here's an idea:

MR. LINDSAY said: Sir, I rise to propose the following Motion:— "That an humble Address be presented to Her Majesty, praying that she will be graciously pleased to enter into negotiations with the Emperor of the French, with the view of making a Treaty for the reciprocal abrogation of all discriminating duties levied upon the vessels and their cargoes of either of the two nations in the ports of the other; and for procuring such alterations in the Navigation Laws of France, as may tend to facilitate the Commercial intercourse, and strengthen the friendly relations between England and France."

This might have obviated any need for the Treaty of Rome, if multiplied a few times....
How much did creosote cost?

Mr. FRANCE asked the President of the Local Government Board whether he would consider the possibility of extending the period of loan on creosoted fencing used in connection with small holdings to twenty-five years, in accordance with representations made by the Small Holdings Commissioners in different parts of the country, upon the strength of which rents had been fixed by county councils?

The PRESIDENT of the LOCAL GOVERNMENT BOARD (Mr. Burns) Perhaps I may be allowed to refer my hon. Friend to my answer given on the 21st instant to the hon. Baronet the Member for North Dorset, from which he will see that I have been advised that thirteen years is an adequate period to allow for the repayment of these loans.

And all this NOT from the known creosote obsessive of 1909, Mr Courthorpe

How about this for the British motor industry, erm, motoring?

Mr. BIRD asked the President of the Board of Trade if he would state the number of motor cars with bodies and also of chassis without bodies, all of foreign manufacture, imported into this country during 1909; and the value of the above and the value of the motor car parts and accessories imported from abroad during the same year.

The PRESIDENT of the BOARD of TRADE (Mr. Sydney Buxton) 3,666 motor cars of a declared value of £1,223,053 and 4,855 chassis of a declared value of £1,321,596 were imported into the United Kingdom in 1909, in addition to other parts of motor cars valued at £1,771,960.

And

Mr. BIRD asked the right hon. Gentleman if he will state the value of British-made motor cars and chassis exported from this country during 1909 and the actual total of British-made cars produced in 1909, according to the returns of the British Society of Motor Manufacturers?

Mr. BUXTON Two thousand five hundred and eighty-three motor-cars and 219 chassis of United Kingdom manufacture were exported in 1909, their combined value being £1,037,787.

Having overturned the Treaty of Rome, maybe Beveridge could have been spared his report:

Mr. HUGH LAW asked the Prime Minister whether, in considering the amendment of the Old Age Pensions Act, the Government will bear in mind the desirability of making provision at an earlier age than seventy for persons suffering from permanent physical disabilities?

The PRIME MINISTER I do not think that this is a matter which should be dealt with by amendment of the Old Age Pensions Act. The Government have had under their consideration for some time past the framing of a contributory scheme for insurance against sickness, invalidity, etc., which it is hoped will to a considerable extent meet cases such as those described by the hon. Member.

As in truly contributory, rather than via a governmental Ponzi scheme.

And so to 1960, wherein Marcus Lipton finds American architectural adornments not his cup of tea.

Mr. Lipton (Lab, Brixton) asked the Minister of Housing and Local Government and Minister for Welsh Affairs when planning consent was given to the erection of an aluminium eagle with a wing-span of thirty-five feet on the American Embasy Building in Grosvenor Square, London.

Sir K. Joseph The design approved by the London County Council included a large cartouche on the facade. It is now proposed to substitute an aluminium eagle. The planning authority is being consulted.

Mr. Lipton Will the hon. Gentleman say what on earth London will look like if all the foreign Governments represented here stick up monstrous national emblems on the buildings they occupy? Is not London already defaced and scarred by all kinds of architectural eyesores and so-called planning improvements, and has not the time come to call a halt?

Oh I don't know Marcus, I think it might be rather fun.

An unlikely take on the position of South Africa in the Commonwealth from a Labour MP:

"Mr Silverman Will the right hon. Gentleman bear in mind that a great many people in this country would desire that, far from withdrawing the invitation, this gentleman should be actively encouraged to come here, and that while he is here he should be given every possible opportunity of seeing democracy at work?

He had a point, didn't he?

The things the nation's youth were exposed to:

Captain Richard Pilkington (Poole)

Mr. Speaker, I have to ask you very kindly to switch your attention from pigs and eggs to the problems of some films, bad films. I think the vast majority of people in the country and in this House are very concerned with the growing wave of crime and brutality that there has been since the war. That crime wave has been particularly evident among the young people of our nation, the people to whom we have to look for the leaders of the future.

[much toing and froing over matters of law, procedure etc]

I quote, first, from a review appearing in the Sunday Express of 27th September, 1959. It referred to a film called "The Mummy," at the London Pavilion, and the following sentences are germane, I think, to what I am putting to the House. The review states: But we are now given a flash-back of Princess Ananka, describing the circumstances of her death. The only reason for doing this, as far as I can see, is to give you a close up of the way to cut off a man's tongue. Why put that in? Because the film's makers (Hammer Films), who have made a lot of money out of doing this sort of thing, believe that you will pay to see it—especially if it is in Technicolour. My second quotation is from the Daily Herald of 29th October, 1959, and refers to a film called "Eyes Without A Face," at the Cameo-Royal. It says: The daughter of a famous French surgeon is badly injured … and has 'an enormous wound instead of a face. Only the eyes are intact.' While she lopes about the house wearing a mask, Dad lures girls to his clinic, where he removes their faces and tries them on his daughter for size. He has already been successful with the same trick on dogs. I apologise, Mr. Speaker, for reading some of these details, but the review goes on to say: Finally, the daughter goes mad, and lets loose the dogs, who tear Dad to pieces … The lingering and obscene eye of the camera focusses on the following: The daughter taking off her mask (in close-up); the surgeon drawing a pencil round a girl's face as she lies on the operating table, then tracing the line with his scalpel (in close-up); the surgeon beginning to peel off the girl's face (in close-up); the face of the surgeon after a score of dogs have got at it (in close-up).'Eyes Without a Face' is a piece of revolting, pandering evil rubbish. The review very rightly comments 'Eyes Without a Face' is a piece of revolting, pandering evil rubbish."

...

Mr. Vosper I was coming to that point. My hon. and gallant Friend referred to horror films. I think the public, on the whole, regard the horror film as a film of a Dracula type. Despite what my hon. and gallant Friend said, and despite the Press criticisms, I think these are somewhat infrequent nowadays. The Board accepts what it regards as legitimate horror films, but it removes scenes which appear to it as disgusting or repulsive, and it invariably places horror films in the "X" category, which means that they must not be shown to children.

Both 'Eyes' and 'The Mummy' are available on DVD with '15' ratings.....

The DPRK update - and it is a really good one.

2010-03-24T13:57:00.000Z

And rather more interesting than the Budget too:

From the usual place:

A spokesman for the National Reconciliation Council (NRC) released the following statement Tuesday to denounce the south Korean puppet conservative group for its recent frantic anti-DPRK smear campaign:
The puppet conservative group, obsessed by an anti-DPRK confrontation ruckus, is using even human scum including defectors to the south as a shock brigade in escalating it only to be jeered by the public at home and abroad.

(All quote marks are in the original)

The group whipped together such riff-raffs as defectors to the south, calling them "future forces for unification". It is busy fabricating what it called the "Alliance for the Movement of Free North", the "Solidarity of NK Intellectuals" and other anti-DPRK plot-breeding organizations. It is even contemplating organizing a preparatory committee for forming a political party called the "Solidarity of Persons for Unification" and letting its candidate to run for the elections to "local self-governing bodies"..iIn another development, the group even let "defectors from the north" to conduct various forms of anti-DPRK smear campaigns such as "broadcasting for reforms in the north", "broadcasting for leading the north to opening" and "daily NK" in a bid to utter a spate of anti-DPRK vituperation. It also made them visit puppet army units and even foreign countries so that they might appear in "security lectures" and "seminars" and at "interviews" to hurl mud at the DPRK. And it instigated them to scatter leaflets, stage such foolish anti-DPRK charade as "opera" and "art performances" and publication of novels and memoirs.

What should not be overlooked is that the puppet group has made no scruple of hurting the supreme headquarters of the DPRK, not content with raising a hue and cry over its situation while working with blood-shot eyes to spy it with human scum involved.

...

It is as clear as a pikestaff that betes noires will make only vituperation just as a crow will never be whiter for often washing.
The groundless mud-slinging made by those human scum who have become living corpses as politicians censured by the people for their despicable acts of treachery and those anti-DPRK plot breeders who rely on them only betrays their wretched plight as betes noires.

As a foot note, I acquired a coffee table book on the DPRK the other day - well, it was remaindered from £25 to £3, but it proved devoid of any particularly good anecdotes.

A very brief Hansard trawl

2010-03-23T16:23:00.000Z

This, from 1960, in a debate about the touring programme of the Covent Garden Opera Company:

Mr. James Watts (Manchester, Moss Side) ".....All of us who live in the area have from time to time witnessed the whole of the Wagnerian sequence of operas— "The Ring", and so on—and we have heard all the Italian operas in these theatres in Manchester".

I am NOT making this up. Nor that Moss Side was represented by the blue team back then.

And there's more:

The Financial Secretary to the Treasury (Sir Edward Boyle) "For example, I am told that the cast for the current production of what are popularly known as "Cav and Pag", or "I Pagliacci" and Cavalleria Rusticana", includes 106 men, 68 women, 25 small boys, 13 small girls, and a pony, quite apart from the orchestra; and a whole battery of green rooms, wardrobe rooms, bathrooms and workshops is needed backstage to keep the cast and their settings and accessories in good order".

Mr. Charles A. Howell (Birmingham, Perry Barr) And the pony.

Sir E. Boyle Yes, indeed.

If it looks to good to be true, it almost certainly is - an object lesson from the DPRK.

2010-03-23T11:01:00.000Z

Note this uplifting headline / opening para, especially given the horrors that tomorrow holds:

It certainly caught my attention....

Anyway, some detail:

In Juche 44 (1955) the Republic lowered the blue and white collar workers' income tax 30 percent and radically reduced taxes of handicraftsmen, businessmen and merchants. It also brought down the peasants' tax in kind at 20.1 percent on an average from 25 percent of the yield, and again at 8.4 percent since 1959.
With the production relationship transformed on socialist lines and solid foundations of socialist industrialization laid, it pushed ahead with preparations for the abolition of the tax system and eliminated agricultural tax in kind in 1966.
Thus only the income tax paid by the industrial and non-industrial workers and some amount of local taxes still remained in the DPRK.
The President had a historic law, "On Abolishing the Tax System," adopted at the third session of the 5th Supreme People's Assembly of the DPRK convened in March 1974 to finally do away with the tax system in the country.

I think I would rather suffer even our iniquitous tax system than live in an economy where the state owns the entirety of the means of production and thus can get its greasy mitts on one's income etc without going through the palaver of pay slip with itemised deductions.

Byers, Hewitt and Hoon on the payroll

2010-03-23T09:10:00.000Z

Patricia 'very, very regular' Hewitt is a director at BT, and judging from this filing, her hourly rate is some £446.4s, gross. Alliance Boots get her on the cheap, at £306.66 per hour, while Cinven are getting stiffed at £500 per hour.

Byers has failed to rack up quite such a selection of household names, and has non-exec positions at a water treatment company and 'a company established to promote closer links between the Ukraine and the European Union'. Yes, really. He also consults for 'Consolidated Contractors International Co., an international construction company founded in Lebanon with its head office now in Athens'. Alas his hourly rate is not given, which is rather sad.

No-one seems to think it is worth employing the Hoonster - understandable, frankly.

I would be among the last to object to folk making a living, but one does have to wonder whether those companies are risking brand contamination from ongoing dealings with Hewitt and Byers.

Literary extract o' the day

2010-03-18T10:19:00.000Z

Among other titles, I am reading Prescott's 'Conquest of Mexico' (1848), and felt that this less than delicate extract merited a narrower audience:

Those familiar with the modern Mexicans will find it difficult to conceive that the nation should ever have been capable of devising the enlightened polity which we have been considering. But they should remember that in the Mexicans of our day they see only a conquered race; as different from their ancestors as are the modern Egyptians from those who built, I will not say, the tasteless pyramids, but the temples and palaces whose magnificent wrecks strew the borders of the Nile, at Luxor and Karnac. The difference is not so great as between the ancient Greek, and his degenerate descendant, lounging among the master- pieces of art which he has scarcely taste enough to admire, speaking the language of those still more imperishable monuments of literature which he has hardly capacity to comprehend. Yet he breathes the same atmosphere, is warmed by the same sun, nourished by the same scenes, as those who fell at Marathon and won the trophies of Olympic Pisa. The same blood flows in his veins that flowed in theirs. But ages of tyranny have passed over him ;
he belongs to a conquered race.

Legal trouble for a favourite blog

2010-03-16T13:29:00.000Z

Folk concerned about the state of British defamation law and the activities of George Galloway might want to hie themselves to Harry's Place.

All the details here.

Headline o' the day. Maybe even o' the month

2010-03-12T15:20:00.000Z

Passed to me by Dizzy, who found it on Twitter, so maybe you've all seen it already:

Bet the subs just loved having that opportunity.

Strangling small businesses at birth - a handy guide from the TUC

2010-03-12T11:16:00.000Z

And very simple it is too:

"The real pension problem in the UK is in the private sector where employers are no longer providing pensions to almost two thirds of their staff...That is why the pension reform we need is compulsory employer contributions to pensions for all staff, which will start with auto-enrolment in 2012 as the first step towards winning decent pensions for all".

Just what every business needs - even higher employment costs.

Elsewhere, Brendan Barber, for it is he, reckons that gold-plated public sector pensions are a myth, and points to 'just' 1.8% of civil service pensioners and 'just' 2.5% of NHS pensioners having pensions of £40,000 or more. So one in 25 in the case of the latter are trousering / handbagging double the median wage.

'Borrowed' from elsewhere

2010-03-11T15:59:00.000Z

Found this in a b3ta.com thread called 'Letters they'll never read'. The author is someone called Chad. All I've done is blank the profanities at the end and fix a few typos:

"Dear Gordon Brown...

Look, I know it's been your dream to play at running the country and that your jug-eared friend said he'd let you have a go in much the same way that a kid with a new Playstation says he'll let his poorer mate come round to play it, but then refuses to give up the controller. I know you really, really, wanted to fulfil your egotistical power fantasies, presumably as a way of getting over the fact you were probably bullied through school and were the unfit wheezy kid that everyone picked on.

I understand that you thought letting the country’s finances be run by people whose expertise was based on their ability to wear a suit and lie convincingly was a good idea and that, presumably, you had some thought that meant lending money to those who couldn't afford to repay it in order to secure the votes of the underclasses who felt life was good as they ordered Plasma TVs they couldn't actually pay for was probably sound political thinking.

I understand that you think that spending more on a political witch-hunt over expenses than the expenses claimed had cost was sensible.

I understand that you thought that devolving the UK into petty squabbling factions was genius, despite the fact that Scotland is now a haven for public services that are funded out of the English Parliament (after all, if Scotland, Ireland and Wales are self-governing, then surely England should be, as well).

I understand that you think sending troops into battle with equipment that a boy scout would turn down and under-funding the compensation and treatment of the poor sods who are being blown apart is good fiscal probity, whilst awarding bonuses and medals to Labour civil servants who happen to pass over Afghanistan on a quick jolly is fine.

I understand that it's not fair that people say you're unelected because in the UK we elect the party, not the leader, despite the fact that you have changed the way the party manifesto is headed, thus negating the points on which your party gained power.

I understand you think it's fine to sling accusations of corruption at any competitors, whilst re-hiring and offering a peerage to a man who had to effectively flee the country to a quiet job in the EU over huge scandals over corruption.

I understand that it's not fair to criticise the fact you can't even be bothered to spell a soldier's name correctly in a letter when he has given his life for this country and that it's unfair to blame the fact you're blind in one eye and obviously care about no-one other than yourself.

I understand that you feel it is fine to create an atmosphere in your own cabinet where no-one would even tell you the building is on fire in case you attack them, where you can accept no personal responsibility for any decisions you have made that have gone wrong or which have been found out to be deliberately misleading or dishonest.

I understand this all, Mr Brown, because you are a [...]. I, and 90% of the British public, wouldn't [...] on your gums if your teeth were on fire. How can we trust the leadership of the country to a man whose long-term vision matches his monocular outlook on life? I'm surprised the helmet you wore when trying to look "down with the lads" visiting the troops in Basra didn't have a [...] bullseye on it - why, after all the poor [...]who have been shot, a sniper couldn't have hit you will remain a mystery to me. Presumably it's because you made a deal with the devil you soul-less slack-jawed, pious [...].

Even more fun with statistics - social media and politics

2010-03-11T13:31:00.001Z

Those nice people at Lewis PR have been polling the populace on Twitter, Facebook and the like, and their having sent me a press release on the findings I was sufficiently intrigued to harass them for further and better particulars and then to knock up some charts:

I'm surprised she did that well, frankly. It should be 'Irish pop singer', by the way.

Curiouser and curiouser:

Words fail me.

And there's more:

Even I draw the line at having MPs as Facebook friends.

Who's afraid of swine flu?

2010-03-11T12:52:00.000Z

The Irish, apparently, as according to a eurobarometer poll on all things H1N1, some 68% are very or somewhat concerned that it 'may develop into a serious risk in my country'.

Hidden in their alpine fastnesses, the Austrians and the Swiss are the most blasé, with 73% not concerned. We err on the side of panic, with 55% concerned, compared to an EU average of 41%. Elsewhere, some 16% of Maltese think it 'very likely' they will catch it.

It would appear that we are a trusting bunch, as 80% of us trust the Ministry of Health (or whatever it is called this week) to tell us the truth about H1N1. Latvians and Poles are a good deal more cynical, at 40% and 45% trust levels.

Fun with statistics, TUC dept

2010-03-11T10:18:00.000Z

Here are the unemployment figures by gender, region by region - as found at the TUC's site, so presumably derived from the usual Fantasy Island official figures:

Readers might cast an eye over the figures and conclude that it is we chaps who are hardest hit by job losses, and therefore consider that the TUC - having seen these figures - would be worrying about male unemployment. This is not what it has been doing, rather it is concerned that any early attempts to balance the books would result in female employment being disproportionately hit.

A small tribute to the 2009 best director Oscar winner

2010-03-09T09:48:00.002Z

Possibly my favourite of her work:

Everybody loves a widget. Don't they?

2010-03-02T15:19:00.002Z

Well, I'm adding one to the blog. Those nice people at ComRes have teamed up with Betfair (my bookmaker of choice, and no - they aren't paying me. However, if anyone wants to sign up with them, e-mail me first and we both get a kickback) to create a range of election-related widgets which looks exactly like those that have now appeared in my sidebar.

Enjoy.

(or they would do if I could get them to work. I am e-mailing those concerned)

Survey o' the day - Europeans and their teeth

2010-03-02T12:24:00.000Z

Sordid commerce nothwithstanding, some things just cannot go unblogged. So, courtesy of eurobarometer, the question - 'How often in the last 12 months have you felt embarassed about the state of your teeth or dentures?'

And it turns out that some 15% of Euromen & women have been embarassed by their gnashers in the last year, with the greatest levels of dental confidence seen in Germany, Malta and the Netherlands - just 7% admitting to any embarassment last year. Whether this is a reflection of the quality of dentistry in those parts or that said Germans, Maltese and Dutch types lack self-doubt. At the other end of the scale, no movie star smiles from some 34 % of Romanians, 26% of Macedonians, 25% of Lithuanians, 23% of Bulgarians, 23% of Portuguese or 22% of Italians. The negative score for these parts is 13%, so depending on how one looks at it, either many of us have paid no heed to the jibes our American friends make about our dentition, or else we have gone out and done something about it.

The 1910 Hansard Trawl, featuring

2010-03-01T19:48:00.001Z

The things we were teaching in the colonies:

Sir HERBERT ROBERTS asked the Under-Secretary of State for India whether his attention had been called to the fact that the syllabus of temperance instruction issued by the Board of Education last year was being translated into the vernacular and adapted for use in schools in Burma; and whether the Government of India had under their consideration the desirability of taking similar action in the other provinces of India?

The UNDERSECRETARY of STATE for INDIA (Mr. Montagu) The Secretary of State has no information regarding the action said to have been taken in Burma. As regards the latter part of the question, an inquiry made in 1907 showed that in three of the provinces of India lessons on temperance were already included in the 725 books read in schools, and that such lessons were about to be introduced in two more.

I believe William Hogarth, the patron saint of these parts, had London rather than Rangoon or Calcutta in mind when he drew 'Gin Lane'....

They ~~shoot~~ boil horses down for glue, don't they?

Mr. BYLES asked the hon. Gentleman whether he could give the House any statistics of the export trade from this country in decrepit worn-out horses; whether the trade was increasing; and whether the attention of the authorities was vigilantly directed to prevent cruelties and to punish offenders?

Sir E. STRACHEY We have no statistics as to the number of decrepit worn-out horses exported from this country, but the extent of the trade will appear from the fact that 16,420 horses, valued at less than £5 per head, were exported in 1909. The trade shows no signs of increasing. (etc)

Special pleading corner:

Mr. WILKIE asked the Postmaster-General whether, in view of the dislocation of business, the financial loss, and the exasperation caused by the recent-failure of the telegraph to Dundee and the North-East of Scotland, also considering the frequent recurrence of these breakdowns, he will implement his Department's qualified promise of a year or two ago, and now without further delay have these lines placed underground?

The HON. MEMBER further asked whether, in view of the statements of members of the Government that they recognise their liability to the unemployed 741 workers of the country, he will now make financial arrangements whereby the work of placing underground the telegraph lines to Dundee and the North-East of Scotland could be at once proceeded with, and thus provide work of general utility and national benefit for some of the unemployed?

The POSTMASTER-GENERAL (Mr. Herbert Samuel) I would refer the hon. Member to my reply yesterday to questions on the subject of underground cables. I much regret that, in view of the very heavy cost of laying these cables and the many claims which have to be considered, I see no present prospect of laying lines to Dundee and the North-East of Scotland. The hon. Member doubtless realises, however, that a considerable part of the expenditure on underground cables already incurred—over £1,500,000–is on the line from London to Edinburgh, by every mile of which Dundee and places beyond benefit.

I will pre-empt by noting that Dundonians, or at least their representative, wanted jam....

Strangeways, here we come:

Mr. SNOWDEN asked the Secretary of State for the Home Department if he was aware that certain of the visiting justices of the Strangeways Prison, Manchester, were recently convicted for an assault upon a woman prisoner; and could he say what action had been taken to remove these men from their positions as visiting justices and as magistrates.

Mr. CHURCHILL I am not aware of any proceedings of the nature indicated by the hon. Member. A prisoner discharged last year from His Majesty's prison at Manchester did, however, institute an action for damages against certain of the visiting justices. It was held by the court that a technical assault had been committed on the prisoner, but that, the justices having acted in good faith and on reasonable grounds, and no substantial injury having been done to the prisoner, the damages should be merely nominal. The proceedings afford no ground for action on my part, and, further, the selection of justices for appointment on the visiting committee for a prison is not a matter over which I have any control.

The mind boggles. And then boggles a bit more.

If you have tears, prepare to shed them:

Mr. FRANCE asked the Chancellor of the Exchequer if any complaints have reached the Treasury from Inland Revenue officers now acting as pension officers with regard to the increase in their work without regular increase in remuneration?

The FINANCIAL SECRETARY to the TREASURY (Mr. Hobhouse) The introduction of Old Age Pensions threw a considerable amount of new work upon Excise Officials, and complaints on the subject have from time to time come before the Treasury. Many of the causes of complaint have been remedied, and others are still engaging the attention of the Chancellor of the Exchequer and myself and our advisers. As the hon. Member is possibly aware, a Committee, under my Chairmanship, will shortly inquire into the conditions of service of those Officers of Excise and Customs who are affected by the recent amalgamation of the two Departments.

Have their been *any* redundancies at tax offices since the advent of internet filing?

A shocking failure at the dept of tractor statistics:

Mr. MASON asked what had been the decrease in the output of coal in the United Kingdom during the last six months of 1909, compared with the same six months of 1908?

The SECRETARY of STATE for the HOME DEPARTMENT (Mr. Churchill) I am unable to say what has been the output of coal during the last six months of 1909, as the returns which are furnished to the Home Office in pursuance of the Act give only the total output for the year. The output for the year shows an increase over the whole country of two and a quarter million tons, seven districts—including Northumberland and Durham, where the Act was not in operation—showing increases and five districts showing decreases. The figures will be published in the course of a few days.

C'mon Winnie - 'we have exceeded all norms because of the efforts of heroes of labour in the nation's coalfields'.

Nothing new under the sun dept:

Sir JOHN JARDINE asked the Lord Advocate whether any rule has yet been made to allow or forbid the disclosure of the names of recipients of old age pensions to persons applying for the same?

Mr. DEWAR I am informed that pension officers are expressly forbidden by the Board of Customs and Excise to disclose information of the nature referred to by my hon. Friend.

Sir J. JARDINE Is the hon. Gentleman aware of the systematic sending of circulars to old age pensioners at the last election?

Mr. DEWAR I have no such information, but I shall be glad to consider it.

Mr. EUGENE WASON May I ask whether he does not consider it desirable that other persons who may possess the same information as the pension officers should be forbidden to disclose the names of pensioners?

Mr. DEWAR I think old age pensioners' private affairs should be treated with the same consideration as those of anybody else.

And a late breaking find:

Mr. GIBSON BOWLES May I ask whether there is any prospect whatever of the restrictions being removed from Russian sugar, Russia being the largest beet-growing country in the world, so that we may have cheaper sugar in this country?

A Man of the Year candidate, I would think.

The differences between men and women - an object lesson

2010-02-27T18:31:00.000Z

Spotted a while back, but only photographed today:

'nuff said?

DPRK headline o' the day

2010-02-25T17:43:00.000Z

Absolutely no apologies for revisiting the Hermit Kingdom again:

Turns out that the North Korean hacks are not going to be undergoing re-education in brass instrument playing, but rather the comment is figurative:

"Kim Jong Il's message to the participants of the meeting titled "Journalists and Other Media Persons Are Buglers Sounding Advance in Dynamic Drive for Building a Great Prosperous and Powerful Nation" serves as a great programme to be upheld by the media in the DPRK in the era of a great surge as it indicates the way for remarkably augmenting the might of Juche-oriented media and a great banner encouraging the journalists and other media persons in their efforts to perform their missions and tasks as buglers taking the lead in the on-going general advance".

One can't help but think that buglers, or come to that, pipers, are among the first to get shot at by the enemy...

A brief observation on over-regulating banks

2010-02-25T12:37:00.000Z

Spotted this in a recent issue of the FT (17/2, long, boring story as to why I chanced upon it):

"Research by JPMorgan published today says that, if all the changes proposed by politicians and regulators were implemented, big banks would have to increase prices on products such as mortgages and corporate loans by 33 per cent to offset a fall in projected return on equity from 13.3 per cent to 5.4 per cent".

Imagine the howling from those who currently love bashing the banks if that came to pass...

Some DPRK goodies....

2010-02-24T10:41:00.000Z

Snappy sloganeering at its most DPRK-esque:

"Let the entire nation unite under the banner of north-south joint declarations and achieve national reunification at the earliest date!"

Meanwhile, the Finns will have something with which to curl up during the long winter nights:

"General Secretary Kim Jong Il's work "On Having a Correct Understanding on Nationalism" was brought out in booklet by the Finnish Communists' Association and the Finnish National Committee for the Study of the Juche Idea on Feb. 14....The work deals with the formation and development of nationalism and the essence of genuine nationalism and its progressive nature, and tasks to preserve the national identity and defend and realize independence of the nation".

The ideal Valentine's day gift I'm sure.

Elsewhere, KJI has been receiving birthday greetings:

<Rashed Khan Menon, chairman of the Central Committee of the
Workers' Party of Bangladesh, and Hasanul Huq Inu, chairman of the
Central Executive Committee of the Bangladesh National Socialist
Party, noted that thanks to the original Songun policy of Kim Jong Il
peace and stability are being preserved on the Korean Peninsula and
the DPRK has turned into a military power which no formidable
enemy dares provoke.

My emphasis...

There goes the neighbourhood

2010-02-24T10:24:00.000Z

Spotted this while out and about earlier.

As regulars will know, the sentiment expressed is far from one that I hold. However, it is worth noting the apparently rather feeble convictions of our stencil artist, in that he / she chose to paint the junction box on the pavement side of a remarkably busy road.

Then again, perhaps he / she reckoned pedestrians were more likely to be won over by the pitch than motorists.

I need to stock up on fruit, so I will be trawling for Israeli citrus fruit later.

Yet another EU land grab. And this time it is cultural....

2010-02-23T09:54:00.000Z

How about this for bold?:

"Jazz long ago stopped being the sole heritage of the United States, the country which gave birth to the genre, and is now a culture that travels freely across borders. Jazz is owned by nobody today, because it belongs to us all, and so it is hardly surprising that Europe is one of its most fertile and representative breeding grounds".

I am not particularly interested in a variation on the theme of 'can a blue man sing the whites' (sic), but that statement is pushing it somewhat.

Joined up thinking at its best....

2010-02-18T13:34:00.001Z

As spotted at London Bridge the other day...

For those who do not know London Bridge station, all of the area undercover is subject to the anti-smoking laws, and this picture was taken within those environs, so anyone who had got as far as the ashtray would be easy pickings for The Law.

Random thought o' the day

2010-02-18T10:19:00.000Z

(Thought about tweeting this, but closed alpha testing suggested I'd run out of characters).

A standard line from our dear, dear friends on the left is that if only the wickedly selfish people with money and (presumably) blue inclinations were to send their progeny to the nearest sink state school, standards, behaviour, exam results yadda yadda would soar ever upwards. I do need to name and shame the countless members of the limo left who forget all about that idea when it comes to educating little Jocasta and little Toby.

Anyway, my modest proposal is that if our left leaners were serious about this business of raising the water level, they could hardly make a better start than leaving the sunny uplands of Notting Hill, Hampstead and so forth and decamping to North Peckham, Harlesden (1) etc en masse. As surely the neighbourhood effect of having all of those 'human rights' lawyers, Guardian hacks and so forth would be to raise the water level - reducing crime, improving the living environment, cutting anti-social behaviour etc through the sheer weight of their moral courage. Furthermore, doubtless the corner shops and no-name supermarkets would hasten to ditch economy sausages and baked beans and stock up on polenta, quail eggs and the like.

To those that rebut 'what about gentrification?', one might note that this is usually done by the less well off, and compelled by necessity more than ideology

(1) Apologies for being so London-centric, but doubtless folk can substitute with fashionable - or otherwise - quarters wherever they know best.

How the EU works - an object lesson

2010-02-16T13:03:00.000Z

I do not suppose that this 'little' announcement will get much media play, but it deserves it:

"The Council today adopted a directive (1) updating EU rules on the structure and rates of excise duties on cigarettes and other tobacco products. The directive is intended to ensure a higher level of public health protection by raising minimum excise duties on cigarettes, whilst bringing the minimum rates for fine-cut tobacco gradually into line with those for cigarettes.

(1) The decision was taken without discussion.

Isn't that nice? How about that for proof positive of the democratic deficit in Brussels?

And there's more:

"Transitional period for cigarettes: the new rules allow for transitional arrangements until 1 January 2018 for member states that have not yet achieved, or only recently achieved, the current minimum rates, namely Bulgaria, Greece, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Hungary, Poland and Romania";

Quantitative restrictions for cigarettes: the directive allows member states not benefiting from the transition to impose a quantitative limit of at least 300 cigarettes on the number of cigarettes that may be brought into their territory from member states applying transitional arrangements. It also allows member states applying those arrangements, once their rates have reached 77 EUR per 1000 cigarettes, to apply quantitative limits with regard to member states whose rates have not yet reached an equal monetary level;

As ever, so much for free trade and allowing differential pricing to actually benefit the consumer.

And the EU has spotted that people smoke roll ups as they are cheaper:

Fine-cut tobacco: the Council decided to increase the minimum excise duty requirements for fine-cut tobacco as follows: member states will comply with either a proportional minimum or a monetary minimum, amounting to 40% of the weighted average sales price and 40 EUR per kg on 1 January 2011, 43% and 47 EUR/kg on 1 January 2013, 46% and 54 EUR/kg on 1 January 2015, 48% and 60 EUR/kg on 1 January 2018 and 50% and 60 EUR/kg on 1 January 2020.

An 1860 Hansard trawl - featuring flogging in the navy, seditious cakes and thae age old dilemma - pub or museum?

2010-02-16T11:22:00.000Z

Autre temps, autre moeurs:

MR. W. WILLIAMS in rising to call the attention of the House to flogging in the Army and Navy, said the system was most injurious to those services because it prevented respectable men from joining them. Upon their soldiers and sailors the country depended for fame, for honour and for security, and yet under the existing practice our soldiers and sailors were liable, for trivial offences, to receive worse treatment than that given to convicted criminals and felons. By the present law no culprit could be flogged in the public streets except one who had actually threatened the life of the Queen.

Crikey.

The officers who opposed the abolition of this punishment were influenced just as the Judges and Recorders were influenced when it was proposed to humanize our criminal code. "If," they said, "you do away with the penalty of death for a vast number of offences, the country will be overwhelmed with crime." Yet the result had been a diminution instead of an increase of crime throughout the land.

Intriguing, no?

Colonel North (no relation...) took up the 'it never did me any harm approach':

"The hon. Member had year after year complained of flogging in the army and navy. If the hon. Member, or any other civilian who joined in his complaints, could devise a punishment which, while it was, severe, would keep the soldier only a short time away from his duty, he would be hailed with the greatest gratitude by the whole army and navy. What was wanted was a punishment that would not throw extra duty on the well-behaved soldier. He had known many men who did not care for being three months in confinement; and while they were there, who was doing their work? Why, the good soldier, who ought to be protected by the officers instead of having the duties of his disorderly comrades thrust upon him in addition to his own. The hon. Seconder of the Motion had stated that in the Trench army there was no flogging. Did he inquire how crimes were punished in that army? If he had done so he would have found that where we flog the French shoot. Would the English public like a man to be shot for knocking down a non-commissioned officer? Do not then talk about our treating men as brutes, when the French shot where we flogged"

Captain Vernon would not seem to have an opinion of 'our boys':

He need hardly inform the House that those who went to sea or who followed the drum were not the best part of the community, but were men who hung loosely on society, and those men into whose hands arms were put had to be controlled by necessary discipline. The fear and dread of punishment made soldiers good, just as it did civilians. The soldier was a very different man, when once he became a soldier, from any other person. He (Captain L. Vernon) had seen a man shot in the West Indies for doing that for which any hon. Member of that House who was a magistrate would have fined a civilian only 10s. in this country. But why was the man in question so dealt with? Because, the regiment to which he belonged being in a state approaching to mutiny, he struck the adjutant in the presence of his colonel.

A small gem of an anecdote from Lord Russell:

LORD ROBERT MONTAGU said, he would beg to ask the Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs, "Whether Her Majesty's Government have received any communication from the Government of the Two Sicilies, complaining that agents of the Government of Sardinia have been trying to excite a mutiny in the Troops of the King of Naples?

LORD JOHN RUSSELL Sir, we have received no information of the kind referred to by the noble Lord, nor has the Government of the Two Sicilies made any complaint of the sort. At the same time, I should tell the noble Lord that that Government is not disinclined to make complaints. Not long ago I received a complaint that an English officer of marines, in paying a visit to a lady at Naples on her birthday, called in at a pastry cook's and bought a cake for her, which cake was said to have had on it three flags of different colours. The Government of the Two Sicilies complained of this as an attempt to excite an insurrection.

Recreation and improvemet of the people:

SIR JOHN TRELAWNY said, he had waived that part of his Motion on this subject which involved any allusion to the Lord's-day, and to the Resolution in its altered shape he believed that no opposition would be raised. His object was to obtain for the people the advantages of the expense already incurred in reference to such institutions as the British Museum and the National Gallery. If these places were open at stated hours on week-day evenings, as was the case now at Kensington, working men would be won from other pursuits highly injurious to their morals, and great benefit would result to the community.

I suspect that the 9th Baronet was being a tad optimistic.

A date for the diary

2010-02-16T09:53:00.002Z

Those lovely people at Monday Books are holding an event for Theodore Dalrymple's new book - Not With A Bang But A Whimper - on 23/2/10 in Kensington.

Regular Spectator readers will know Dalrymple's unmissable column on the delights of inner city medicine and so forth, others may know his work not written under his nom de plume - 'The Wilder Shores of Marx', 'Monrovia Mon Amour' inter alia. Having read both of those books, I will happily vouch for his prose.

Anyway, Dalrymple will be doing a Q&A session chaired by Dan Hannan, and for the bagatelle of £16.50, one gets to sit at the feet of these two titans, a hardback copy of the book and wine and nibbles. Any readers interested should e-mail me and I will pass on the more specific details. Furthermore, any profit from event will be going to Haiti appeal.

To be updated with hyperlinks, formatted etc a bit later on.

(Full disclosure time - I'm on the guest list for this. However, I do not promote anything I do not support, so I believe my integrity remains uncompromised).

An Australianism we should import....

2010-02-10T16:55:00.000Z

"Rort (verb or noun) : Cheating, fiddling, defrauding (expenses, the system etc.). Usually used of politicians. Source and here.

If the unbelievably tedious '-gate' suffix has to be applied to the shenanigans of the last few months, doesn't 'Rortgate' sound so much neater than 'Expensesgate'?

Usage spotted here, and subsequently checked.

A Gallic gallimaufrey

2010-02-10T14:09:00.000Z

As ever, our French chums are up to all sorts, and I have been keeping an eye.

Firstly, they have a Presidential election on the cards for 2012, and polling suggests a bit of a conundrum for the Parti Socialiste. The leader of the party, Martine 'daughter of Delors' Aubry, might be expected to be their candidate against the mighty Sarko, but the King over the Water, Dominique Strauss-Kahn (presently head of the IMF - nominated by the ever wily Sarko) is rather more popular. In fact, if Sarko went head to head with Aubry in the second round, he would win, but DSK would get the keys to the Elysee if he was the candidate.

Here are the figures charted:

An Aubry candidature cuts the vote for the Trots and the Greens and boosts it for both Sarko and Bayrou's liberals, with the reverse applying to a DSK candidature. The vote for Le Pen (Martine, not J-M) and De Villepin proves less mutable. I for one would be less than surprised if our old friend Segolene Royal opted for an independent bid, always supposing the PS tells her where to go. The margin for Sarko over either Aubry or DSK is widest among the 75+ age cohort nd Aubry's widest among public sector workers. Fancy that....

Sticking with French elections, they have regionals coming up, and TNS-Sofres has been kind enough to publish polling for the Languedoc-Roussillon region. And the likely winner in those parts is neither a Gaullist nor a PS candidate, but rather one Georges Frêche, who was expelled by the PS a while back. To call him a maverick would be a bit of an understatement. He is an equal opportunities insulter, having said this of the new Pope - "I hope he does better than the other idiot", this of the French national football team - "On [the French national football team], there are 9 Blacks out of 11. The normal number would be three or four. This would reflect [French] society. But if there are so many, it is because Whites are lame. I'm ashamed for this country. Soon, there will be eleven blacks. When I see certain football teams, it makes me sad", this of the Harkis (Arab loyalists who fought for France in the Algerian war) - "you are sub-humans...you are without honour, you are not able to defend yourselves".

And finally, a bit of polling on drug testing:

"In your opinion, when a new drug is being developed, at which point will it be tested?"

A rather alarming 15% think it is tested after it comes to market.

Housekeeping

2010-02-10T13:11:00.000Z

And this is my snazzy new blog name. URL etc remains the same, obviously.

I mooted a name change a while back, and opted against it at the time, but following consultation with someone Really Rather Important have chosen to run with a name change.

As and when I have rather more time, I'll sharpen things up a tad and sort out the font size.

Conservatives in the EU start voting in roughly the right direction

2010-02-10T10:51:00.000Z

This, from EUPravda:

"The European Parliament elected the new European Commission by 488 votes to 137, with 72 abstentions, in Strasbourg on Tuesday. The vote took the form of a single ballot on the whole College of Commissioners, consisting of one Commissioner from each of the 27 EU Member States.

The new Commission will stay in office until 31 October 2014. By way of comparison, the first Barroso Commission was voted into office in November 2004 by 449 votes to 149, with 82 abstentions.

Ahead of the election, the EPP, S&D and ALDE groups announced that they would vote in favour of the college of Commissioners. The Greens, GUE/NGL and EFD groups said they would vote against the new college and the ECR group announced it would abstain".

The ECR is the Tories plus our Czech and Polish chums and a few other folk from here and there. Quite amusing seeing UKIP etc (EFD) voting with the extreme left, but I suppose one can't chose one's fellow voters.

The 1960 Hansard trawl

2010-02-09T15:45:00.000Z

Marvel, shake your head or whatever at this one:

Mr. Biggs-Davison asked the Secretary of State for the Home Department the estimated number of tubercular and other hard core refugees to be admitted to the United Kingdom during the World Refugee Year; and the arrangements for their reception and settlement.

Mr. R. A. Butler Two hundred refugees, including eighteen suffering from tuberculosis, as well as others with a past history of this disease, have so far been accepted for admission during World Refugee Year. Details of the arrangements for their reception and settlement were given in my reply to a Question by my hon. Friend the Member of Lewisham. North (Mr. Chataway) on 30th October, 1959.

A bit of local interest pertinent to my new neck of the woods:

Mr. D. Smith asked the Postmaster-General the number of people in Brent-ford and Chiswick on his Department's waiting list for telephones and the number who share telephone lines.

Mr. Bevins One hundred and nine are on the waiting list, and 240 applications are under inquiry or in course of being met. The number of people sharing their telephone lines is 1,736. During the past twelve months, 818 telephones were installed in Brentford and Chiswick.

Shared lines, eh? Try explaining those to the youth of today.... Shared mobiles might force them to cut down on the texting, yelling and so forth.

Road safety:

Mr. Prentice asked the Minister at Transport whether the ideas incorporated in the Cornell-Liberty safety car in the United States of America have been examined by his Department in the interests of road safety; and to what extent, and by what methods, he will encourage the application of those ideas in this country.

Mr. Marples Details of this imaginative research project were carefully examined by my technical advisers. Some of its special design features are of a practical character and are already incorporated in car models now being produced; some appear to be unsuitable or not readily adaptable for use on normal types of cars.
Extensive studies and research into safe vehicle design have been undertaken in this and other countries, and discussions by international bodies, with a view to reducing the risk of serious injury in the event of accident, are continuing.

And this is what it looked like, courtesy of this site:

Presumably the major feature was its extreme ugliness, which prevented folk from wanting to drive it and other drivers to want to be anywhere near it. Attempted wit to one side, "The project discovered that an extraordinary percentage of injuries could be prevented by improved door locks, energy-absorbing steering wheels, padded dashboards, and seat belts". Source.