The most soul-crushing phrases in the English language
The worst four words - "As seen on TV"
As to the worst seven, it is a toss up between the following:
"We need to talk about our relationship" and "A replacement bus service is in operation".
Nominations for other candidates are most welcome.
As to the worst seven, it is a toss up between the following:
"We need to talk about our relationship" and "A replacement bus service is in operation".
Nominations for other candidates are most welcome.
Labels: Challenges to the readership, language
This entry was posted
on Sunday, February 15, 2009 at 1:55 pm.
You can skip to the end and leave a response.
"Hi! We're from the Government & we're here to help!"
As nominated by Ronald Reagan too, I believe.
The Best Of...
With added fibre
Alcohol free :)
'Decaffeinated'.
The last time I caught a replacement bus service (Bolton - Manchester Airport) it was considerably faster than the train.
"It's not you it's me!
...and change where necessary.
Good stuff folks. Keep them coming.
"He/She/They (usually a financial institution in the current climate) have my fullest confidence and support"
No 1: [insert local area]'s vibrant [insert foreign nationality adjective] community
As found in local council and quango documents.
eg. "Tower Hamlets' vibrant Somali community"
No 2: "Due to the unique way we are funded"
4 words: I love you, but.
7: I still love you, but, you know.
STB.
'Workshop' - when not involving light engineering.
"Have you tried rebooting it?"
"Mind the gap between the platform edge and the train, please."
"When leaving the train, please remember to take all your belongings with you. Please do not leave items of luggage unattended in the train or on the station."
"Due to the wet weather, surfaces may be slippery."
"24-hour CCTV is in operation at this station for your safety and security."
I wouldn't mind so much if they occasionally actually gave some actual service information as well, like when or if the by now seriously delayed train is expected to arrive.
Sometimes on the new Class 376 suburban trains in SE London, the driver will run through the whole repertoire of recorded announcements, presumably for a laugh. It's only amusing the first time.
Oh yes, and
"Keyboard missing, press F1 to continue"
especially on a server, with no keyboard in sight and with the backside of the machine pretty well inaccessible in a makeshift rack.
Edwin - Ordeal by rail in this country is a cruel and unusual punishment. My late father suffered Shenfield to Liverpool St daily for 20 or so years, and could put up with the delays but was infuriated by the lack of useful information ever put out over the PA systems.
Some years back an announcer on an inter city train I was on signed off by hoping that we had 'enjoyed our pleasant journey'. A tad presumptious, but a kind sentiment I suppose.
Incoming from Birmingham we were once regaled with,
"We are now making our final approach to Euston."
There's a site out there somewhere where someone collects station and driver announcements on the tube.
(Pause while I look for it)
Here tis.
3:
- and another thing
- the #1 bestseller
'Made for television'
» Post a Comment