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Stop the City - in reverse...

Inspired by a post over at UK Daily Pundit's gaff, I present an antique joke (2001 vintage) on plans for the City's revenge:

Next Friday will be the International City Day of Action. On this day, we ask you all to don your finest pinstripe, apply your monocles, glue Mobile phone to ear and then head off down to Brighton to disrupt as many dreadlocked soap dodging men and women with dogs on
string as possible.

Plan of action:

* To picket henna tattoo stalls.
* Throw cheap pewter jewellery into the sea
* Occupy the dole office and glue the doors shut.
* Throw soap and other cleansing materials at the men with dogs on string.
* Dig up the road and line it with photocopies of huge salary slips.
* Blockade the promenade with open top sports cars.
* Buy up all local supplies of scrumpy, Special Brew, snake bite and black and roll ups - then throw them all in the sea.

Police advice to all crusties at present: "Get a job you scrounging b*stards".

Found here, but the original writer is unknown.
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Anonymous newmania said... 5:13 pm

Call me I am rent a quiet disussion  

Blogger Croydonian said... 5:17 pm

Lost me there Mr N.  

Anonymous Suttonian said... 5:49 pm

Buy up all the cheap booze? Wdn't that be a bit pricey?

Talking again of the Dutch electie, woddya make of this plan to ban the Burqa (Burga in the Gulf)? I'm a racist meself (i.e. I believe that not all races are exactly the same, or need to be)but it don't bother me what Moslem ladies wear. At least they don't have visible tattoos.

BBC24 at 16:30 slightly cheered me up. After all the underclass whinging about Farepak, an "expert" was allowed to pt out that it has no advantage over B.S.s (esp. as they rarely go bust) or supermkt saving schemes.

Vive la France et a bas le Sun.  

Blogger Croydonian said... 5:57 pm

S - I expect it would not be a cheap endeavour, but it might be a better way of blowing one's bonus than buying yet another Porsche.

Re burqas. Hmm, I've written on the veil, at length, before, but the burqa is a whole new ball game. I would be entirely happy with it to be permitted, but for cops and other officials to be allowed to check the identity of whoever is beneath it, and for banks, shops etc to refuse to trade with burqa sporters in exactly the same way they refuse to deal with bikers wearing crash helmets.  

Anonymous newmania said... 8:13 pm

..as opposed to "rent a mob" which is what always turned up in the City when I was there. Sorry rushed today

On the Burqa it is nothing to do with its concealment.It is a political statement and it depends to what extent it is acceptable.
A swastika?  

Blogger istanbultory said... 9:54 pm

Muslims are unlikely to take kindly to infidels being allowed to check the identity of whoever is beneath the burqa. I can picture the protest meetings and demos even now....  

Blogger Croydonian said... 10:11 pm

IT - indeed. What folk choose to wear is their business, but I don't see why cultural indicators should merit legal privileges.  

Anonymous Anonymous said... 11:26 am

In the City we miss the May Day riots. I remember a couple of years ago many hundreds of photocopiers hard at work on bank notes to be thrown at various soap-dodgers as they were nicked by the rozzers.

When the mob attacked various buildings too the security were harder pressed to keep the rugger buggers inside from getting out for a good scrap than they were the Emilys' and Tarquins' from getting in.

After all the vegan diet and left-wing mixed with left-wing idoelogy seems to allow people to get most upset and angry, but physically incapable of achieving very much.  

Blogger Croydonian said... 12:40 pm

CU - I expect they'll be back. There's a sort of 'Season' for the professional crusties, trustafarians etc - WTO, G8, May Day etc etc. Quite the beneficiaries of globalisation, many of them.  

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